The Dark Night of the Soul in the Christian Life

I was talking to a friend of mine from a previous area, on the phone. He’s someone I sponsored and mentored during my time at the Salvation Army in that city.

He had called to let me know that he had gotten into trouble. He had gotten into a car accident, while drinking, and received a third DUI. And that he was most likely going to have to spend about a year in prison. 

I myself am recovered from a drinking problem, many years ago, so I can see what he’s going through from a unique perspective.

What do you say to someone in that circumstance? He knows he did something wrong. He takes responsibility for it. He didn’t try to make excuses. So I told him something I’ve come to believe very deeply, that often these things that we experience, though they seem to be taking us downward, and deeper into darkness, it may actually be creating a scenario in which your ego is so thoroughly humbled, that you are finally ready and able to give yourself entirely to God.

Can walking through a time of great darkness actually lead to an even greater light?

St. John of the Cross wrote on this topic in his work “The Dark Night of the Soul.” St. John of the Cross was born in 1542 and served as a Spanish roman catholic priest.

St. John went through many difficult experiences in his life, and wrote about the dark night of the soul, as a poem, that he later wrote commentary on, that became the book we have today.

I want to share some of the poem with you, it’s pretty brief, but powerful. I’m going to share it in modern English, the old English is kind of hard to follow.

It says this: “The Dark Night of the Soul
by St. John of the Cross — modern English rendering”

1 On a dark night,
burning with love and longing,
oh, the sheer grace!
I went out unseen,
my house now stilled and sleeping.

2 Hidden by the night,
and by the secret stair I fled —
oh, the joy, the thrill! —
hidden from sight,
my house at peace and resting.

3 In that blessed night,
in secret, no one saw me,
nor did I see a thing —
my light and guide
was only that which burned inside my heart.

4 It guided me,
truer than the noonday sun,
to where the One was waiting —
the One I knew so well —
in a place where no one else appeared.

5 Oh night, you were my guide!
Oh night, kinder than the dawn!
Oh night that joined
the Lover with the beloved,
beloved transformed in the Lover!”

He wrote this beautiful poem to express a simple spiritual truth that we’re going to explore today. The fact is, that seasons of profound darkness, though painful, lead to great spiritual breakthroughs, and ultimately a concept he calls union with the Lord or "divine union."

For this purpose we turn today to Psalm 88. Of all the 150 psalms in the Bible, this psalm is most certainly the darkest. This will be the low point, the rock bottom experience, of the series we’re going through, healing journey.

But I deeply believe, we must touch this moment, before we can rise to greater levels of spiritual growth.

Psalm 88 was written by a man named Heman the Ezrahite. Heman was a skilled singer and song writer, considered one of the wisest men of his time. He would’ve served as a singer during the time of King David, and Solomon was compared to to Heman, saying that Solomon was even wiser than Heman. He was part of the tribe of the Levites, and he was the grandson of Samuel the prophet. He may have had a tough upbringing, because we know that Samuel’s sons did not follow Samuel’s ways, and perverted justice. His father was one of those two sons, named Joel.

Psalm 88 begins like this: (v1-2) “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.”

We see this psalm starts with trust. He trusts God’s character. He views God as the God who saves. He’s praying day and night for God’s help. He’s crying out and waiting for an answer. It’s not so different from many situations we’ve all been in. Needing an answer, calling out to God.

Next, verses 3-4: “3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.”

This is someone who is overwhelmed. The situation they are facing is too much. Their ability to handle it is a 10, but the situation is at a 12. It’s over the line.

In fact this situation is so severe he feels near death. So this isn’t any run of the mill situation, where aunt Susie has a sprained ankle or something, this is serious. Or, at least it’s a combination of situations all occurring at the same time, to culminate into something that is overwhelming.

The journey downward has begun. This is a journey I can best relate to my journey downward in ministry. I had been a new pastor at the Salvation Army, brash, excited, new, thinking he was all that, and this led to a fall. Several things all together happened, loneliness, depression, bad stomach problems over a long period, ego and self will, the corps struggling financially, and two of my senior leaders leaving the church. Then my dearest companion, my favorite cat, Sunshine was her name, passed away as well. All these things produced a downward spiral. 

The walk down the dark stairs had come. And I had had other rock bottom experiences, particularly prior to salvation, in my twenties, when I was fleeing from the Lord and chasing pleasure.

Heman the psalmist feels like he’s going down to the bottom of the pit. He says he feels like one without strength. That is so hard, when you’re already going through something hard, and you also feel weak physically, or emotionally. It makes it so much worse. He is down in a pit, and without strength to deal with it.

St John of the Cross writes about this experience of going into darkness, as a journey of purification through suffering. This experience helps remove improper attachments, and clears away inadequate views of who God is, and changes our thinking profoundly, to produce something beautiful through the darkness.

Next, verse 5: “I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.”

In the dark moments of our lives, we feel it so strongly. We take those steps downward, and we weep as we do. Our emotions are so strong. They overwhelm us. And we feel martyred by life, struck down. There have been a handful of times in my life where the circumstances were so severe I really did feel martyred, crushed, and ruined.

During my parents divorce I got expelled from high school, and I was using pills to make it feel better, my friends abandoned me, and a girl I'd liked for years had rejected me. And I remember laying on the floor one day in the basement in my room and I simply felt ruined, leveled.

Next, verses 6-9, Heman writes: “6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.”

This is the lowest point of the psalm. He has reached rock bottom itself. He feels the wrath of God on him. He is overwhelmed by wave after wave of anxiety, fear, and sorrow and he’s also isolated, his close friends have left him. He feels confined, like in a prison cell, he senses there is no escape, and his eyes have changed, gone dim with grief.

When someone is hurting deeply, you can see it in their eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul.

Have you felt this way in your life? What scenario are you thinking of in your own life that relates to the dark night? Remember this: There was a purpose in your suffering. It was not for nothing. And don’t necessarily assume God created the scenario you’re thinking of, he may not have, because sinful things happen in a sinful world. Then again maybe God did send the scenario that happened. Or He at least used the pain to do a work in your soul.

There is a profound purpose to these dark nights of the soul. They have a reason. They do a mighty work in us. It’s never pleasant at the time, but after we soon discover, I’m radically different than I used to be. I’ve become a different, more spiritually mature person, more devoted, more victorious, more humble, and my view of God has changed.

My view of God has changed so many times. For a time, God to me was a doctrine, then a vague belief, soon he was a mystery, now today, he is a burning fire of Holy love in my soul. I went from seeing God as a far off being, to seeing Jesus Christ as my personal best friend and King. These changes often required dark nights of the soul to develop.

Next verses 9-12: "9 I call to you, Lord, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?”

I believe verses 9-12 are prophetic. The psalmist is asking these questions, and the answers to these questions point forward to a time that had not yet come for Heman, the time when the suffering messiah would live, and prove true the things Heman writes here.

The NASB renders verse 10, “Will you show wonders to the dead?”

I thought to myself, the answer is yes. Jesus showed wonders to the dead, he raised Lazarus from the dead, and Jairus’s daughter.

"Do the departed spirits rise up and praise you?"

Again the answer is yes, the deceased spirits of humans in Christ rise up, and worship God in heaven, they are worshiping right now!

“Is your love declared in the grave?” I know an empty grave that declared holy love! It is declared in the empty tomb, the grave of Jesus Christ, declaring the love of God to a lost world, because Jesus had risen from the dead! He is alive.

“Is God’s faithfulness declared in abaddon, the place of destruction?”
Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?”

Verse 11-12 points us back to the current struggle of Heman. Is this deep darkness he’s experiencing really a wonder of God in his life?

That is what St. John of the Cross tells us in his book "The Dark Night of the Soul." These dark seasons we go through are actually paradoxically moments that bring great light after, huge shifts in our lives toward the living God.

St. John of the Cross wrote: “In the dark night of the soul bright flows the river of God”

When we feel outright oblivion is there actually a great blessing hidden in this? Is the passage through the dark tunnel actually leading to a deeper union with God? Dare we even say, that this could mean that the dark journey through the tunnel was actually worth it?

Next, verses 13-14 “13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?”

The dark season feels like rejection from the Lord, but it really isn’t. He has not rejected you in those hard times. Let your prayers continue to rise up to Him.

The psalmist continues with his lament, verses 15-16:

"15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.”

I believe it is very pleasing to the Lord that we lament in our dark night of the soul. The word “lament” means to grieve, to mourn, to weep, to express sorrow.

So, how do we respond to the dark night of the soul, even knowing that it will bring us closer to God? Should we celebrate? No, we should express our sorrow. This is biblical. There is an entire book of the bible dedicated to lamenting, it’s called Lamentations.

Yet I think in the midst of the mourning, we can come to a place, by God’s grace, where we turn to the Lord, and say, “Thank you God for this struggle, for I know it’s making me more like Jesus.” In a moment, I want to give all of us an opportunity to thank God for the struggle. But first, last two verses.

Verses 17-18: “17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.”

The psalm concludes with Heman declaring, that the dark night of the soul has completely engulfed him, like flood waters rushing through a city. His house has been swept away. His very self has been swept away. He is alone, with no friends or neighbors, he is defeated, crushed, and he even says darkness is his closest friend.

And that is how the psalm ends. No other psalm in the bible ends on such a dark note except for Psalm 88.

This is a man who has been engulfed by the dark night. Does the story end there? Is it over for him? I don’t believe so. For on the other side of the dark night, there comes the day. And the dark night has had great effect.

His “self” has been swept away, his ego, his old way of being. He has died to self. And I believe, on the other side of this event, Heman rose again from the ashes, a new man, humbled, renewed, strengthened, and stronger than before, closer with God, united with God, all the ego swept away, with God at the center. (But I honestly can’t prove that from scripture, because we don’t find our how the story ends.)

But maybe it’s actually good that it ends on this low note. Sometimes when we’re in the midst of something really hard, we don’t need to hear about how it’s all going to be ok. We need to just let ourselves be in a place of sorrow, to express it. It helps us identify our pain, and let it have it’s place.

Sometimes the hardest thing when I’m mourning, is to have someone come along and try to cheer me up. I don’t want to be cheered up, I need to grieve this, and when I’m through the grief, then I want to be cheered up, but not yet. If you’re there today, know that it’s ok to be grieved for a time. Proverb 25:20 deals with this.

But for the sake of those of us here who are ready for the step beyond the dark night into the light, we move forward to the dawn. St. John of the cross tells us in his book, that the purpose in the two types of dark nights he talks about, the dark night of the senses and the dark night of the spirit, is to bring us along a pathway of death to self, where we let go of ego, let go of pride, let go of improper attachments, and find a state in which we are in union with God. The dark night of the senses is more common, and affects our sense of God's presence with us, the dark night of the spirit is more rare and much deeper. The goal in each: Deeper union with God. 

If you remember, Jesus prayed for his disciples in the upper room, that they would be one with God, in John 17, truly and completely united with God. A heart union. St. John of the Cross makes the case that this can only happen when we go through the dark nights of the soul, but, on the other end, we find ourselves transformed, we find our view of God transformed, and we rise up on eagles wings, with new spiritual strength, set free to experience the depths of God’s heart.

We’re told in the Bible to give thanks in all circumstances. We often thank God for good things. But can we also thank God for the dark night of the soul.

Would you pray this simple prayer with me today:

“Thank you God for the struggle I'm going through, for I know it’s making me more like Jesus.”

Closing Prayer: Lord Jesus, heal our bitterness, from these dark times. Heal us from the pain, from the memories, heal us from the grief and lament. We thank you for your love shed abroad in our hearts, that overwhelms and heals the pain. You are so very good to us. In the darkness, we trust you. In Jesus name, amen.

Three Dark Moments of Jesus' Life: The Falling Away, the Garden, and the Betrayal: Sunset, Early Night, and Deep Night

What was your darkest moment in life? When did you hit a sort of rock bottom? I can think a few of moments in my life. I remember when I was 17 years old, I was downstairs in my parents basement. My parents had just split up. I had been bullied a lot in school, until I started doing drugs and drinking, and pretty soon I became very cool and popular. But I couldn’t control the pills, they were like a wild bucking bronco that bucked me off. And I made some crazy statements to students, and they brought my statements to the school leadership and I was expelled from school.

The girl I had a big crush on at that time had decided that I was a weirdo and wouldn’t talk to me. And my old friends wouldn’t talk to me because they were afraid of me. It was at that moment in life that I knew everything had fallen apart. It was a moment of great darkness in my life.

I remember during that time I turned in my room one day and looked at a poster on my wall. It was a smashing pumpkins poster from one of their music videos, one of my favorite songs, and God seemed to say to me in that moment: You’re about to go through a long dark tunnel, but I will save you in the future, and everything will be OK. That tunnel lasted ten years.

The Smashing Pumpkins poster I looked at connects with the song titled “Tonight, Tonight” the music video tells the story of a couple on a doomed voyage who get lost and captured by monsters, but escape and find their way to safety in the end. Listening to the song last night was interesting. You hear words and phrases like “Believe in me” repeated over and over.

How about you? Maybe your darkest moment was losing a loved one. Or losing a job. Or a time when you became deeply empty. Perhaps it was a car accident or an angry argument.

In our darkest moments we will grieve and be lost and struggle, and we may even fall away, and scatter, or come to ruin. But if we return to God, he will help us, deliver us, and save us.

Today we’re looking at three dark moments. And they are what they are. They are dark and broken and sad. That is part of life.

It’s not always beautiful. It often is beautiful, even sublime, glorious. Other times, I’m exhausted, everyone is crabby, it smells funny in here, the rain is falling, and we get a phone call of a disaster far away. Someone dies.

For me, friends, it’s so incredibly relieving, it feels really good for me, to just admit that this is true about life. So often we pretend like everything is perfect. And people scold us or give us a pep talk, turn that frown upside down. But to simply affirm, it’s ok, to grieve the trouble of life, that’s freeing, if you ask me.

So let’s jump into a moment in time, late at night, Jesus has just given the disciples so much encouragement, it’s all recorded in John 14.

He said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” -John 14:1-2

So much encouragement! He prayed for them, prayed for believers everywhere, he gave instructions about loving one another. But now Jesus is going to speak some hard truths to the disciples and to the leader of the disciples, Peter.

He says in Mark 14:27, “You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’”

Jesus quotes from Zechariah 13:7 in the Old Testament here. It’s a prophecy that comes true in this moment in time.

You will all fall away he says.

Something bad is going to happen, Jesus says. 

Jesus often told the disciples: This is what will happen in the future. The temple will be destroyed, he told them. He told them he would be crucified. He told them they would be his witnesses to the ends of the Earth. God tells us the future.

That continued with the Holy Spirit often speaking to Paul in the book of Acts as well, you will go to Jerusalem. You will go to Rome (Acts 23:11).

Yet even immediately after giving the bad news, Jesus gives the good news as well. So which news comes first? Good or bad? According to Jesus, bad news first, then good news.

In verse 28, “But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

Even though Jesus will be arrested and killed, and the disciples will fall away. In the end, Jesus will rise, and meet them again in the future.

Then in verses 29-31 we get the classic statement from Jesus to Peter...

But first Peter says, "Not me, I’ll never abandon you!"

It says, “Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”

30 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.”

31 But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.

I sometimes wonder, what would I do if my life were on the line? What would I do if I knew it would cost me everything? I like to think I’d go bravely to the end. But only God knows what I would actually do.

How often do I choose my own way still today, instead of God’s way? How often do I waste time? How often do I do what I want to do?

We’re all a work in progress. But we lack such consistency. We come around for a year or two. But it’s a lifetime journey. Where is our commitment? Aren’t we more like the disciples then we realize?

When we get bored with the church, or we get thinking about other things, health, exercise, job, money, family, we keep God second, third, fourth, and sometimes, we just disregard God all together.

Most people I’ve had join the church here in Owosso don’t stay around for more than a few months before they head off to do something else. They can’t quite stick with it. They drift off again. They fall away.

What do we do? How can be consistent? How can we be sure we stay with God for the long haul?

Lord, help us please.


That’s the conclusion of section I, Lord help us to be consistent and to not fall away. But secondly, also realize, if you fall away, that isn’t necessarily the end either. God gave up on you? No. You can and hopefully will repent in the future and return to Him with all your heart.

But first we must go deeper into the darkness. It’s a journey into the night. We’ve gone into the first level of the night.

The sun has set, the clouds have faded, and the last hews of orange in the sky are now disappearing.

So we come into the Gethsemane. The sunset disappears and the sky turns dark, but there are stars in the sky.

It says in verses 32-34: “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”

Jesus said to his disciples my soul is overwhelmed. I feel overwhelmed. Have you ever felt overwhelmed?

“I can’t stand it anymore!”

Jesus can relate completely to that feeling. His very soul was overwhelmed, deeply distressed, and troubled.

From time to time I feel that way as a Christian and as a pastor, overwhelmed, distressed, troubled, not the extent that Jesus does here.

I firmly believe no one has ever felt this distressed in all of human history, as Jesus does here.

He knows he is going to have to go to the cross and die for our sins. He knows that this will entail being brutally crucified, but also feeling in the Spirit that the Father has abandoned him. He will feel the wrath of God against sin and receive it for us, in our place. He will receive the full wrath that we were due for our sins. He would take it for us. Jesus is thinking about that, I’m sure, and completely overwhelmed.

What would it feel like to be tormented in hell for our sins? Even a single moment would be unbearable. But Jesus would take that torment that we deserved for our sins, and take it upon himself.

What does it feel like? To be overwhelmed with a yucky thought? Lots of anxiety. Weakness in the body. Physical affects. Racing thoughts. Depression. Negative thoughts. Wishing it wasn’t happening. Panic attack. I’ve been there. I battle depression and anxiety. It’s brutal. You just wish it would stop for a moment sometimes. You wake up and the depression hits and part of you wishes that you hadn’t woken up at all.

Jesus is there in a dark place, rightly so. God doesn’t spare us these difficulties. Sometimes I feel so terrible in my own head and heart I just look up and say, "How God can I feel this terrible in this moment how can this be allowed?" But it is allowed.

Jesus goes deeper into the garden. In verses 35-36: “Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

One of the most astonishing moments in the entire Bible, Jesus actually prays that this cup would be taken away from him. What cup is he talking about? Jesus is going to drink from a bitter cup, it’s called the cup of God’s wrath. It’s talked about quite a bit in the book of Revelation, the bitter cup of God’s wrath is received by Babylon.

He is going to hell for us! Some actually believe that Jesus was tormented in hell for three days for our sins, before he rose from the dead. I don’t see a lot of scriptural support for that, but it is possible. Other scriptures say he descended, and led captives free. So could it be that he was tormented for three days in hell, then gained victory over the devil, and set free the captives from ancient times, the old testament heroes who awaited a coming messiah? That’s speculative, but it’s at least possible.

Jesus asks for the story to be changed. He says to God, "Anything is possible with you. Yet not my will, but yours be done." Write that one down for your own prayer times, when you pray, add to the end: But Lord not my will but yours be done. That’s very honoring to God.

Next in verses 37-40: Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.”

The disciples keep falling asleep. They should be praying and asking for God’s help to not fall into temptation. What is the temptation Jesus is referencing here? The temptation is the temptation to be afraid and run away and not stay with Jesus during his arrest! Jesus knew they would be tempted to fear and run. So he tells them to pray. But they all fall asleep. Obviously it was quite late at this point.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. So we should pray. Just like it says in the “Our Father” prayer, deliver us from temptation. That’s a good prayer to pray as well. Perhaps the Lord will tell you that a trial is coming forward and you need to pray intentionally right now, over and over, praying, "Lord deliver me from temptation." So you don’t fall to it when it comes.

Then Jesus says these fateful words: verses 41-42, “Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Here we come to our third and final section, we’ve gone from sunset, to early darkness, now to deep darkness.

In Mark 14:43, “Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.”

The ordeal begins now, we’ve gone from talking about it, Jesus predicting it, to Jesus mourning and praying as the moment gets closer, but now the moment arrives. And it’s tough. It’s dark. It’s scary. It’s intense. I’m sure there is much anxiety going on in that moment, with the disciples, with the guards, though I can’t say I know exactly what Jesus is feeling or thinking at the moment.

Then it says in verses 44-47: “Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. The men seized Jesus and arrested him. Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.”

Judas signals to the guards who to arrest by kissing Jesus on the cheek. Think about that! Judas was one of Jesus’ closest disciples. I’m sure Jesus loved him, and he loved Jesus. But now it’s all a mockery, a lie, a trick, the ultimate betrayal, betrayed with a kiss.

Have you ever been betrayed? It feels terrible. It feels like having a knife in your back. It’s brutal. It’s not something you soon forget.

Does Jesus say anything to Judas? Only two statements, “Do you betray the son of man with a kiss?” That’s recorded in Luke. Also in Matthew, Jesus says to him, “Do what you came here to do.”

He doesn’t condemn Judas. Similarly we shouldn’t condemn those who betray us. Jesus knows its up to God the Father to judge Judas. Similarly we shouldn’t judge our enemies or hate them. We must forgive them, even if they betray us.

If you're struggling to forgive someone who has hurt you terribly deeply, try this, pray to God and say, "Lord, I forgive them from the heart." And then repeat that statement to God. Keep repeating it, until you sense God bringing the miracle of forgiveness. You'll know its a miracle too, you couldn't have forgiven them on your own. But God brings this overcoming in your heart, and he sets you free from the resentment, the anger, and the hatred. And you become free, and you forgive them from the heart. 

We also see Peter striking with a sword to try to prevent the arrest of Jesus. We know from the other gospels that Jesus told Peter to put his sword back. And Jesus even healed the man who was injured in the attack.

Lastly, we see in verses 48-52 it says, “Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” Then everyone deserted him and fled.

A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.”

Jesus lastly declares that all this is happening to fulfill what is written in the Bible about him. All of this must happen. All of it must take place so Jesus can die to be a blood sacrifice for our sins, and set us free. At that moment, the disciples fled the area. Jesus is abandoned by his friends. 

Then we get this odd mention in verses 51-52, of a man who was wearing only a blanket. He was naked, wearing a blanket, a linen garment. The NIV is being generous here saying it was a linen garment. The word is more often referring to a linen cloth. Though it could be referencing something like a night gown, according to the Outline of Biblical Usage by Larry Pierce.

Many have wondered who this person is. The most common idea is that this is Mark himself. But we know from early church leaders in the 2nd century, that wrote that Mark never met Jesus or was with him, he recorded everything later. So it’s hard to say. We don’t really know.

In conclusion today, we see three dark moments taking place, Jesus telling the disciples they will fall away. Jesus in sorrow in the garden. And Jesus betrayed and arrested.

All of this Jesus was willing to go through to purchase us back with his own blood. Always keep that in mind and be so grateful.

Let’s take a look at our applications. How can we apply these truths to our lives and live differently in accordance with the word of God?

1. Accept in your heart that life will include dark moments (then you won’t be surprised)

2. Give yourself permission at times to be Hurting (Say its ok that I’m not ok right now)

3. Give yourself permission to be tough, stay positive and don’t give up (Buck up buttercup)

4. Stay Consistent in your walk with God over the years (But if you do fall away, believe there is still hope to come back again in the future)

5. Jesus can relate to feeling completely overwhelmed (So take courage and stand firm when you feel overwhelmed)

6. Pray a lot when you’re in a hard time, pray God would deliver you from temptation (And His will be done, not yours)

7. Even if someone betrays you, forgive them in your heart (Release them to God, he will judge)

The Body of Christ Today: Fighting a Delaying Action in Severe Testing

It feels like the battle of Hoth out here.  We as the body of Christ are fighting a delaying action against the enemy, who appear to be advancing on all fronts.  I feel the desperation. I sense the walls closing in.  The last year has burned like a cold fire in my heart. The battles have been many. The trials have been difficult. The refinery of the Lord burns brilliantly. That is as it should be. 

The last year has revealed to me who I truly am, and I do not like what I see. But what that means is, the Lord is removing the impurities, and turning me to pure gold. Is he doing the same for you?  If so, be pleased. 

The battle seems to have turned against us in the west.  Many of us believe it is only a matter of time until we are defeated. The enemy has the power of hell on it's side and hell's time is nearing, that time we all dread. 

But we continue fighting. We continue to fight our delaying action.  The world has fallen to the mass madness, for the most part, though there do remain pockets of resistance here and there.  The indoctrination to secular progressivism has been rather complete, but there are still some hold outs. The largest hold out region seems to be the United States, most of Europe has already fallen to the madness. But a heroic resistance still remains. 

Does it feel like the people around you are increasingly brainwashed by the media and the academic establishment? The world seems more and more radicalized and programmed by those who control the flow of information. That is the battle of our age. The battle for the mind's of humanity. Yet we keep fighting. We keep hoping. We keep sharing the truth. Will it be enough?

It would take a miracle, but we all hope for one as we gather around our campfires, wearied and jaded. But we haven't given up.  We're still hoping for a better future. We're still desperately holding up our torches into the fading light.

Yes, we've been through the wringer. We look back at past series of traumatic events; they make us wince. Wince because of the destruction and hopelessness around us, but double-wince because of our own sins and failures in the midst of critical moments in history. What a sad state we are in, yet what incredible hope remains in our infinite God. 

Has your love grown cold? You must not let it grow cold, somehow, someway. You must keep your lamps burning, like the five wise virgins, who stored up extra oil. Do not let your love grow cold, somehow, someway, in Christ, all things are possible. Don't give up.

These are the times that try men's souls.  So we must take refuge in the Lord.  The Lord is my strong tower. I will not be shaken. Though he wounds, he also binds (Job 5:18). 

It is never fun when the Lord rebukes us, and corrects us, but when we come out the other side, weeks, months later, we find ourselves stronger, spiritual muscles bulging.  That is our lot for our time on Earth, correction, growth, carrying of our crosses, and following Jesus. It is infinitely worth it. 

The love of God, and His presence in this room with me is worth it. To know the creator of the universe, and be reconciled to Him is everything. I don't have to run anymore. I don't have to scream anymore. I don't have to dump pills into my stomach hoping to wipe away the sorrow for a few hours. I don't have to throw myself into empty encounter after empty encounter desperately seeking pleasure. I don't have to walk out on highways wishing for death anymore. I've found life everlasting. 

And riding my bike, at midnight, in the darkness across the Shiawassee river, under the dark skies, I realized that though these times are so very dark, the truth is, these burdens are light and temporary.  Light and temporary. Light and temporary.

The man twisting in agony right now, his sins popping before his eyes, one by one, minute by awful minute, hour by unbearable hour, seeing the memories of every time he had a chance to receive Jesus as savior, and yet refused, before his eyes, in pain, skin burning, mouth dry as the desert, laughed at and mocked by demons surrounding him, his agony will never end, in a week, it will continue, a month, a year, a thousand years, a million years, it will never end. These present difficulties are nothing compared to the glory that is to be revealed. And it's nothing compared to the hell that we've escaped, assuming we continue in our belief to the end (Matthew 24:13). 

Don't give up brothers and sisters. Hold fast to the Lord.  Seek His face on a daily basis. Follow Him. Do His will and not your own.  Share the gospel everywhere. Fight tooth and nail.  Yes, we are fighting a delaying action right now.  We're slowly retreating. We're like the rebels on Hoth, with the AT-ATs closing in, barely holding them off as the transports escape off the surface one by one into hyperspace.  We may be like Luke Skywalker on Cloud City, fighting a losing battle to Darth Vader, but after our great fall, comes a great rise.  We may now be fighting a retreating action, but in the future we may yet find ourselves gathering around Sullust for our counter-attack, our last great victory, before the calling away. 

Be zealous now, and live a lifestyle of repentance. Take an inventory of your ways. Live out your faith on a daily basis. For these are the last days friends. Imagine it brothers and sisters! Of all the people in history, we get to be the ones who live to see the last great harvest, and the calling away of the church. Who would've thought it would be us?

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord shines over you.[a] For look, darkness covers the earth, and total darkness the peoples; but the Lord will shine over you, and His glory will appear over you. 3 Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your radiance. 4 Raise your eyes and look around: they all gather and come to you; your sons will come from far away, and your daughters will be carried on the hip. 5 Then you will see and be radiant, and your heart will tremble and rejoice,[b] because the riches of the sea will become yours and the wealth of the nations will come to you." -Isaiah 60:1-5 HCSB

Endurance through Struggles: The Final Victories of Paul's Ministry

“In ancient Rome, crowds by the tens of thousands would gather in the Colosseum to watch as Christians were torn apart by wild animals. Paul Rader, commenting on his visit to this famous landmark, said, "I stood uncovered to the heavens above, where He sits for whom they gladly died, and asked myself, 'Would I, could I, die for Him tonight to get this gospel to the ends of the earth?'" Rader continued, "I prayed most fervently in that Roman arena for the spirit of a martyr, and for the working of the Holy Spirit in my heart, as He worked in Paul's heart when He brought him on his handcuffed way to Rome." Those early Christians "lived on the threshold of heaven, within a heartbeat of home, no possessions to hold them back." -Our Daily Bread.

The Apostle Paul lived on the edge of death, that’s for sure. As he traveled from here to there, throughout his ministry he planted many churches. Some say he planted up to 20 churches in different cities. We know for certain that he planted the church at Ephesus. He faced constant difficulties and persecution. And today we focus in on Paul’s final, grand trial, in which he would glorify God in numerous ways.

The last seven chapters of the book of Acts, about one fourth of the entire book of Acts is dedicated to documenting the great spiritual struggle that Paul faces at the conclusion of his journey in serving Jesus.

He has already faced incredible levels of persecution and suffering for the cause of Christ. More than any of us could dream of. But now he faces his last great struggle, which is a wild and incredible series of events, to say the least.

Each of our lives will one day tell a great story. The ups, the downs, the victories, the defeats, it’s all there. And the Lord whispered to me a few weeks back, that my victories and my defeats, over the last few years, have been shared by more than I know. Heaven’s forces care about our lives and what we go through. That’s comforting I think.

On judgment day, when you stand alone before a loving, holy God who is about to judge your life, what will the pages of your book say? How did you glorify God in your trials and in your journeys? Did you really live for Him or did you live for yourself, with Him tagged on the side? For some of us, judgment day may be the worst day of our lives, when we find out we never really knew Jesus, and that sitting in church just wasn’t enough. And we’ll be sent to hell.

For some of us, that day when we’re judged, will be the best day of our lives, because it will confirm at last that yes, we followed Jesus, yes, we believed in Jesus, and yes we knew Jesus and He knew us. And we will be welcomed into paradise, with the words, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

That has been on my heart lately. Judgment day, that one day, is the one day we should all be preparing for. It should be on our minds, that we will one day have to give an account. And we should prepare carefully by living close with Jesus, with great faith in Jesus, serving God with fear and trembling.

It’s interesting, as Paul went about his mission year after year, eventually the Holy Spirit began to speak to him about the coming great trial he would face. It says in Acts 20:23, Paul speaking, ““I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.” -Acts 20:23

And again in Acts 21, a prophet spoke to Paul, from Acts 21:10-11, “While we were staying there many days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. He came to us, took Paul’s belt, tied his own feet and hands, and said, “This is what the Holy Spirit says: ‘In this way the Jews in Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into Gentile hands.’”

Sometimes the Holy Spirit will tell us that something is coming our way, whether good or bad, whether trial or victory. Watch for that.

Paul knows he has to return to Jerusalem.

His fellow believers urge him not to go, since he knows that trouble awaits him there. But he knows that it’s God’s will, so he goes.

He returns home. This is his home city, Jerusalem. He grew up there, from what we can tell, and he’s now an outsider, because of the Jesus movement he’s joined. But he’s determined to win as many Jews as he can to Christ.

In Acts chapter 21:27-28 it says, “When the seven days were nearly over, some Jews from the province of Asia saw Paul at the temple. They stirred up the whole crowd and seized him, shouting, “Fellow Israelites, help us! This is the man who teaches everyone everywhere against our people and our law and this place. And besides, he has brought Greeks into the temple and defiled this holy place.”

It says that the entire city was aroused against Paul, you’ve got serious spiritual warfare going on here. Hundreds and thousands of people are growing into a mob against Paul and the other believers.

Eventually some Roman troops come and arrest Paul. But Paul requests permission to address the mob. And the commander gives permission.

And this gave Paul permission to share his testimony about how Jesus changed his life. And he does. He shares about the Damascus road when he saw the vision of Jesus and how Ananias came and baptized him. Then he gets to the part of his story when God called him to preach the gospel to non-Jews. And this makes the crowd go crazy, remember these are all Jews who think of gentiles as evil and unclean. So the mob goes totally out of control again.

So the Romans take Paul away, and then order the assembly of the leaders of Israel, the Sanhedrin, and bring Paul before them. And once again, this is the Holy Spirit using persecution to bring forward the gospel. So once again, Paul has the opportunity to speak to the Jewish leaders. A great dispute results in the Sanhedrin between the Sadducees and Pharisees, and once again Paul is taken away by the Romans.

It says in Act 22:11, "The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.”

A plot is formed in Jerusalem to murder Paul, but it’s stopped before it can be carried out. So the Roman commander sends Paul to Caesarea to be examined by governor Felix. This begins two years of Paul being imprisoned by the Romans, and brought before various leaders and kings and judges, where Paul gets the chance to speak for Jesus again and again. Finally after all this mischief, Paul appeals to Caesar himself to get justice in his imprisonment.

So Paul is sent to Rome. On his journey, they are shipwrecked, and all sorts of crazy stuff happens, they end up on the island of Malta, then travel by ship 3 months later, and finally arrive at Rome. In Acts 28, we hear about how Paul is under house arrest in Rome, but is having many opportunities to preach the gospel to the people around the city who are curious about him and his situation.

Now during this time, and the years Paul would spend in prison and house arrest, Paul would write many of the new testament letters, like Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Colossians, 1st and 2nd Corinthians and so on. And these today are our love letters from the Lord, inspired by the Holy Spirit and written by Paul himself. Many were probably written while he languished in prison, and he might’ve wondered, what good am I able to do locked away in prison? Little did he know he was writing the new testament that we study today to know God! Amazing! He was reaching billions for Christ, but he didn’t even know it at the time. Sometimes our circumstances can be deceiving.

Who knows if Paul knew that his death was near? We don’t really know. But we do know that God guided him safely into the heavenly kingdom. Paul died, he was probably martyred for the faith. But he came safely into paradise. That is our goal as well.

The 3 Moments of Greatest Darkness: Upper Room, Gethsemane, and Golgotha

I dreamt I was running through an incredibly dark forest. I couldn't see an inch in front of my face. I looked down and I couldn’t see my own hands. But I kept running. I was afraid. It was dark and mysterious. So dark. Then I realized there was something pursuing me. Looked like a scary wolf of some kind. It was trying to bite me as I ran. Then it got brighter, and I realized there were other animals there, trying to protect me.

In this life, we as Christians must face down the darkness. That is part of our mission here. To go through many trials and tribulations on our way to the kingdom. One of the trials is of course long treks through darkness and pain. Such has been recent times for me. We all go through times like these, as Christians, don’t we? Yes we do.

As I was driving to Flint the other day, I thought about an analogy of sorts. If you’ve ever watched funny videos online or on television, maybe you’ve seen the videos that parents will sometimes make of their children when they get their wisdom teeth taken out. They often will have to take their children home while they are on pain drugs. They can’t quite talk right, and they’re very confused and often afraid.

I recall one in particular, where the child asked his mother, “Will this be forever?” And what he was asking was, is this drug eventually going to wear off? What a scary thought though, that you might never stop feeling dizzy, confused, unable to speak, right?

Often times we wonder as we go through trials in this life, through the darkness we wonder, “Will this be forever?” Will this ever end? And thankfully we know that yes, any trial in this life has an expiration date. It will end eventually, maybe after a few weeks, or a few days, or a few years, depending on what it is.

But then I realized something terrifying. For many, many people, people who reject Jesus, people who live in sin, when they die, they go to a place of pain and torment, called hell. And they will be terrified, and they’ll be asking themselves, “Will this be forever?” And they will realize very quickly that yes, this will be forever. They will be in incredible pain, fear, surrounded by demons mocking them and torturing them, for all time. It will never end. They will never be OK again.

When applying that to my current trials over the last few months, I realized, it’s better to suffer now on the Earth, through pitch black darkness, for years, months, and weeks, rather than to suffer for all eternity, for thousands and millions of years in hell, because I lived in sin, or turned away from the calling the Lord had for me in my life.

When my friend Chelsey’s grandfather passed away, he died in a house fire. And Chelsey was so sad that he had to die in such a painful way. But Chelsey also told me, that the Lord really spoke to her and said, isn’t it better, for him to have only suffered a few minutes, than for him to have gone to hell, and been in the fire forever, and never able to escape it? And Chelsey knew it was true. It was better that now her grandfather was in paradise. Because they brought him close and ministered to him.

In the saga of the life of Jesus today, we come to the moments of darkness. We see the last night that Jesus spent with his beloved best friends and disciples. We see his agony and fear and sorrow in the garden of gethsemane, and we see the moment of the worst darkness in our world’s history, the moments in which Jesus was crucified on the cross.

As much as Jesus feared the cross, and hoped for some way to escape it, he went willingly, knowing that a short time of sorrow would give birth to an eternity of joy and reconciliation between God and man.


Jesus parting words to his disciples: Upper Room Discourse 

John Chapter 14:“Do not let your hearts be distressed. You believe in God; believe also in me. There are many dwelling places in my Father’s house. Otherwise, I would have told you, because I am going away to make ready a place for you. And if I go and make ready a place for you, I will come again and take you to be with me, so that where I am you may be too. And you know the way where I am going.”

Thomas said, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus replied, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you have known me, you will know my Father too. And from now on you do know him and have seen him.”

Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be content.” Jesus replied, “Have I been with you for so long, and you have not known me, Philip? The person who has seen me has seen the Father! How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you, I do not speak on my own initiative, but the Father residing in me performs his miraculous deeds. Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father is in me, but if you do not believe me, believe because of the miraculous deeds themselves. I tell you the solemn truth, the person who believes in me will perform the miraculous deeds that I am doing, and will perform greater deeds than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."

Here we see the glorious formula, God the Father is in Jesus, and Jesus is in the Father. And Jesus tells us that if we love Jesus, then Jesus lives in us, and we live in Jesus. Just as God the Father is in heaven and Jesus was on Earth, and he had the Father within him, so now Jesus is in heaven, seated at the right hand of God, and we have Jesus within us, and we live within Jesus in heaven right now. 

Jesus encourages his disciples, his friends, those he loves and those who love him, to not lose heart. Imagine what it must've been like to be with Jesus everyday! Wake up with him, go to bed knowing he's in the tent next to yours. Listen to him teach. Have quiet conversations with him around the camp fire. Give him a hug. See him smile at you. Wow, it must've been so wonderful. It must've been like being in the presence of joy itself. It must've made them feel so courageous and bold.  It must've made them feel so safe and loved. Wow. 

Yet these moments are sorrowful. And the disciples are afraid and sad. They don't want Jesus to leave. They don't to be without Him. But they know these things must happen. And Jesus encourages them not to be afraid and to put their faith in God. Then they leave the room for the garden. 

Garden of Gethsemane
Matthew 26:36-46 NIV says, “Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Here we see the moment of Jesus' humanity. He is actually asking the Father to change the plan, because he's so afraid or disturbed at what will happen on the cross. But Jesus also says, not my will be done but yours.  A good line to repeat in our prayer life as well, when things don't go our way. The disciples keep falling asleep. But Jesus keeps trying to remind them to pray, because he knows they are about to go through a time of testing. They are about to be sifted by Satan, you might say. 

And as we know, all the disciples fled, aside from John, and the women, and hid while Jesus was being crucified. Their leader, Peter, failed the worst, by denying Jesus three times. They were sifted indeed, and failed their tests. Never-the-less, Jesus still forgave all them and blessed them anyway.  Amazing. 

As Jesus prayed, before his great final trial, eventually, the betrayer, Judas came with the romans and temple guards, and they arrested Jesus. Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. And they took Jesus, to crucify him.

The Crucifixion at Golgotha 

Matthew 27:32-56, “As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. 33 They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). 34 There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it. 35 When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. 36 And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. 37 Above his head they placed the written charge against him: this is jesus, the king of the jews.

38 Two rebels were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. 39 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads 40 and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” 41 In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. 42 “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.
The Death of Jesus

45 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

47 When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.”

48 Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. 49 The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”

50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

54 When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”

55 Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. 56 Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.”

Finally, the moment of ultimate darkness came. Life can get dark for us on Earth as Christians. We face extremely challenging trials in our lives don't we? But we know from the scriptures that we should not regard the fiery trials we face as if something strange were happening. In fact, the trials and struggles we face are completely normal for Christians! And we can rest assured that every Christian, in every country, whether it be Indonesia, China, South Africa, Australia, the United Arab Emirates, or Cuba, or Brazil, are all going through the exact same trials, that are molding them more and more into Christ-likeness. 

Jesus faced his darkest moment at Golgotha. He was nailed to the cross and hoisted into the air, the base of the cross dropped into a hole in the ground. A crowd gathered around to mock him. They shook their heads in disgust, assuming he had done great evil. Yet he was perfect and innocent.  He had done nothing wrong.  The teachers of the law and pharisees mocked him and challenged him to save himself.  

From noon to 3pm it went completely dark. That must've been a moment where many wondered if they might actually be killing the son of God. In fact historians outside the Bible mention the darkness that came. They also mentioned the earthquake that occurred at around 3pm on that day.  Ultimate darkness.  Jesus cried out, Father father why have you forsaken me?

Jesus paid the price for our sins.  It's called the great exchange. If we believe in Jesus, repent of our sins, and follow Jesus, then our sins are nailed to the cross with Christ, and Christ wipes them out.  And Christ gives to us his perfect righteousness. In fact, in Revelation we see that in heaven the saints wear white robes. What are these white robes? They are the righteousness of Jesus Christ. And so we are made morally right in Christ, and we are then fit for heaven, for paradise.  

But what does it take to get there? It takes the moments of great darkness, that Jesus faced.  And for each of us, it takes the moments of darkness we face throughout our lives. The trials and tribulations and persecutions we face are normal for Christians, and we must face them and overcome them, on our way to paradise, eternal life. Amen. 

How to Overcome the Matrix: What is the Matrix? How do we Escape the Matrix?

Do you want to know what it is? The matrix? It seems like you do. Something brought you here. Something within you that longs for something more. 

So what exactly is the matrix? The matrix is the grid of thoughts, ideas, beliefs, customs, philosophies, and unspoken codes that manipulate us into following a road that leads nowhere.

The goal of the system around us is to successfully lead us to our own enslavement.  

It functions from birth to condition us toward a certain secular modernist mindset. It functions in the entertainment realm. It functions in the public school system. It functions in the norms shared and developed by our friends and neighbors. It guides us k-12 toward a certain set of beliefs about the world around us. The process continues into college and/or the business world. It solidifies in the drive to attain wealth, status, power, possessions, and influence in society.  

Yet we can all sense that something fundamental is missing in our lives. There is a fundamental emptiness in each of us that can't quite be contained.  It can't quite be filled by any experience or substance. It can be temporarily drowned out. But it is never quite satisfied. It is a gaping maw within each of us that can't be filled. It is a bottomless pit that is never filled.

This bottomless pit urges many, many of us to ask the question: "What is the matrix?" 

It urges us after the busy day of work and play to ponder and walk into empty places trying to understand what the emptiness within us means. 

This is the beginning of the journey in which we escape the matrix. I call it the process of the night train. We begin to walk into empty places, leaving behind the busy world, at least mentally, and we begin to sonder into another world.  We walk into emptiness. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Maybe because emptiness is quiet. And beautiful. 

We can spend weeks, months, and even years in the emptiness, pondering, yearning, and dreaming.  But eventually something magnificent happens.  In the night, a train appears, and we board the train, and it takes us away.

Of course I don't mean a literal train appears, and takes us away. Instead, it is a metaphorical train. This is the moment when in the emptiness, the truth finds us. And the truth will find us.  Of course there are other ways to come to know the truth and escape the matrix.  Many, many routes lead out of the matrix.  But for me, I went by way of the night train.  I'm sure some of you have done so as well.

The night train is what some might call prevenient grace. It's the guiding force that leads us toward the truth.  And in a very real way it "takes us." We would otherwise wander in emptiness forever and never come to any knowledge of the truth. Without the train we would be lost.  And we don't really deserve the train either.

And boarding the train I don't think we even know what it is. But we can feel what it is.  It's something very sacred.  So we board the train and we realize we have a ticket in our pocket with great surprise. We've been invited. The darkness and emptiness was the train station. But if you never wander, you'll never find the train.  But as I said, there are other routes out of the matrix. This is just the one I experienced.

The train takes us away into the night, chugging along through dark valleys, and mysterious meadows, through mountains and across rivers, through the night. Eventually the train brings us to our destination. An underground cavern.  And we climb into the underground cavern and in the cavern we find the truth.

The truth is in some ways like a pair of glasses we put on. Like that movie "They Live" we begin to understand what the matrix is. We see that entertainment conditions us. We see the propaganda of the public school system. We see the extremism of the university system. We see the corruption of the political and business realms. We begin to see the spiritual battle that is being waged all around us. 

You've been thoroughly indoctrinated to believe that the material universe is all that exists. This is false. There is a spiritual realm that exists all around us, and in this spiritual realm is where the battle for our souls is fought. 

That is the real, fundamental truth of reality: You have a choice to make.  The choice is hidden from you by the system, as much as possible. The goal of the system is to build a false reality around you that is so complete and seamless that you make the wrong choice without even realizing there is another option.

You have a choice to make. That is the key function of this universe. Your choice, and what preceeds from your choice. And it's repeated each day, until you die. Choice, choice, choice... free will. And how you will use it as a free agent.

You are being graded based on your decisions. Which means the fundamental reality of the universe is moral and ethical in nature.

The choice is wide-ranging, expressing itself in infinite ways. But each choice can be broken down to two choices. There are two basic choices we can make. Choice 1, rebellion. This is the state the system around you guides you toward. Through ignorance, through deception, an argument, philosophy, through ideology, through the appeal of pleasure, whatever the scheme is, it's all designed to deceive or manipulate you into embracing rebellion. Rebellion against God. Rebellion against the moral nature of the universe. Rebellion to that which is actual. Rebellion through redefining reality to suite our own desires.

The second choice, the more difficult choice is loving the truth. Faithful trust in the moral imperative of the universe. Embracing reality as it truly is. Obedience to the truth. Faith in the truth. Allowing the intelligent designer of the universe to reshape you into a new being, declared morally perfect, guided toward moral perfection, remade to be what humanity was originally meant to be, perfect, beautiful, creative agents in a flawless, sublime universe.

We have our lives to make the choice. And the default mode of each human is toward rebellion. That is the natural reaction of our minds, our emotions, and all that we are. We prefer rebellion, in various forms. It even seems heroic to us. It seems right to us. 

But we only have our lives to make the choice. Eventually time runs out. And the choice we make in this life, whether it's rebellion or the truth, is stamped for eternity, beyond the veil of this life. 

If rebellion is chosen, hell is the result. Destruction is the result. Quarantine, away from paradise, for eternity. Why? I don't know. That's above my pay grade. It's real though. 100% real. 

If the truth is chosen, paradise is the result. Rapture is the result. Joy is the result. Perfection is the result.  And this paradise seems to be without end, just as much as the other option is without end. Apparently each human soul is fundamentally eternal in nature, it can't simply be discarded or destroyed at the completion of life on this present Earth. 

That is the choice before every human right now at this moment in history. And we all make the choice every day. We either choose truth or we choose lies. We either slide closer to God, or slide further from God.  Each day it repeats. And we make our choices. 

Even as a Christian myself, I must admit that many days, more than I'd like, I don't live out what I believe to the fullest extent that I could. Given how much is at stake, why would I do that?

The Christian lives in a tension. A tension between the new nature in Christ and the old fallen nature that still clings to the soul until death do us part. If we choose God, the old nature will eventually be removed completely and the new self can get on with a whole new adventure in the next life.  What that adventure looks like exactly is once again beyond my pay grade, though I wouldn't even hazard the slightest guess, I can only imagine it will be an incredible adventure beyond what we could comprehend now. If we choose death, then the fallen nature becomes our permanent reality. The new man fades away, and we embrace the fallenness for all time in a place called "hell" "hades" "outer darkness" and so on.  Some Christians will no doubt through continual sin or apostasy (recanting trust in Christ) will attend to hell for all time.  All non-believers will attend to hell. Those of other religions will also attend to hell. It's quite shocking when we fully realize the stakes that exist right now.  I'm shocked by it.  But there it is.  

The tension is why we often don't fully live out who we are in Christ.  That's one side of it.  Our fallen nature. The other side of it is the matrix.  Even as Christians, we can be continue to be deceived by the matrix. Particularly in our present day babylon, the United States, we are constantly bombarded with propaganda straight from the pit of hell. 

It is increasingly complete, from birth to death, it is everywhere, more so than ever in history I imagine.  Television, internet, news media slant, social media censorship, commercials, billboards, Hollywood, celebrity culture, public education, universities, late night talk shows, government agencies, businesses, consumerism, luxury, entertainment, pleasure, on and on the list goes.  It's a stifling all encompassing Vanity fair that calls us day and night to compromise what we believe in Christ.  It's a political agenda that urges us toward darkness. It's a constant cry to live for self-pleasure instead of for God. It's a constant drum beat of lies, half-truths, deceptions, social pressures, agendas, and scientisms that all attempt to drive away from faith in Christ.  We all know so many Christians that live compromised lives, and seem to have more in common with popular culture and talk show rhetoric than they do with the Bible and Jesus Christ. 

The matrix has always existed to a certain extent in every culture and society in the world. It has existed since the moment of the fall when the kingdom of darkness gained control of the world we live on. It's always been here to some extent.  Abram faced it outside of Sodom and Gomorrah. Moses faced it when he led the people out of slavery in Egypt. Joshua faced it in his battles to take the promised land. Solomon faced it in his marriage to many foreign wives.  Daniel faced it in exile in Babylon. The Jews faced it under the oppression of the Romans. Perpetua faced it when her father insisted she give up the faith and evade the arena. The early church faced it time and again in the persecutions. Martin Luther faced it in his battle against the sale of indulgences. John Wesley faced it as he fought to rally the dead churches of his day to revival. William Booth faced it in his campaigns against the evils of darkest England.  Mother Teresa faced it in Calcutta, gathering the abandoned children to safety. Richard Wurmbrand faced it in Romania when the communists took over the church and imprisoned him. Today Christianity is the number one most persecuted religion in the world.  But no one seems to care too much.  It doesn't fit the news media's narrative of colonial imperialist oppression by Christians.  

It’s important to remember that we reside in enemy territory. There is a great tension between us and the world.

The battle we face in the west is not yet at the stage of dying for Christ. It is a battle of social pressure. It's a battle of political ideologies. It's a battle of Christians being lost to deception and worldliness. The battle is within ourselves though.  Someday soon it will be against forces outside ourselves that want us dead. Today it's a battle within.  The battle between rebellion and truth. I fight it everyday. We're all our own worst enemy. He who can conquer himself is greater than he who can conquer a city. Remember that. 

How do we escape the matrix? The escape is found in Jesus Christ of Nazareth. No one wants to hear that, but it's the truth.  It was the last option I wanted. But here we are. And I've accepted the truth.  We are our own worst enemy.  I needed Jesus to come within and change me from the inside. Because the truth is I can't do much of anything at all without Christ inside me guiding me on the right path.  That is where the night train leads. It leads to Jesus. No one said we would like where the train takes us. But I've found it's quite more beautiful than I had thought. 

I realized I had propagandized not only about everything else in the world, but about Jesus and Christianity as well. I had been plastered with false ideas about these things, no doubt to keep me away from exploring them. Such a clever enemy we face. The lies of the matrix try to paper over Christianity with lies, darkness, evil, and sin. It tries to drag Jesus down into the muck, at least from our perspective, so we see it as just another dead end. But when we toss out the old false ideas projected by the matrix, what we realize, what I came to realize was, Jesus is really the truth.  When everything else fades away, Jesus is really real. 

That is the only escape from the matrix. That's how we board the hovership and begin our battle against the darkness, and begin winning minds to Christ.  But there is a second escape to be made. We can be brainwashed as Christians, turned into cancer cells to the body of Christ, I see this all the time, progressive Christians, Christians living in sin, lukewarm Christians, they turn and attack the body, instead of fighting to win souls and defeat the darkness, they turn and attack their own, they are brainwashed cancer cell Christians, who actually fight against their own brethren in Christ, because they've been successfully propagandized by the world. The second escape is effected by the Holy Spirit. Christ has delivered us from the matrix's total control of our internal world.  The Holy Spirit delivers us from the external stimuli that would threaten to shipwreck our walk with Christ. The Holy Spirit reveals the truth about the world to us, and helps us to have our final victory over the matrix. The final victory over the matrix is when we overcome the world, when we overcome the darkness, and when we overcome ourselves.  It is the victory talked about in Revelation, the final victory over ourselves, evil, and the world.  That is the final victory over the matrix, when we look like Neo did, and we see the code, instead of the lies. We see the code itself, how people are propagandized, how people are deceived, the schemes of the forces of Satan as they manipulate the masses to do their bidding. That is the moment when we become deadly, dangerous Christians who pose a serious threat to the kingdom of darkness. That is what you must become. You must become a follower of Jesus yes, but you must overcome the world, the darkness, and yourself. Only then will you have victory over the matrix and escape the matrix forever. 

To go more in depth along these lines consider taking a look at the book: Escaping the Matrix by Larson & Boyd 

Night Train

I was walking one night, down a dark dark road. 

Imagining what my life might be like if I lived in a dream,

I came upon a crossroads, stopped in my tracks,

Down the road more murky I traveled

But soon the path had grown tiresome to me,

So I disappeared down on a misty ravine

Through the night, rushing water,

Humming in the brush,

Something beckons me forward,

A glowing mist caught my eye,

Came into the clearing, transfixed,

Can this be real? My mind accepted it,

A train stood tall and mighty, 

It called me onto it,

Lured me with it's mystery,

So I climbed aboard, and the train took off,

I climbed to the  top, and sat upon the roof

The winds whipped through my hair,

Where are you taking me, I wondered

A place far away

Anywhere but here,

Was the train in my mind

Was the train an illusion?

It was a steady thing,

Breaking through the twilight

I delight in it,

It played music for me,

Some sort of mystery,

It explained itself to me,

Little by little revealing,

Stars over my head,

Moon lush and stolen glory,

Wonder takes me away,

I'm captured, stolen from the past days,

Where are you taking me?

The beauty, the intrigue,

These are things I'd never seen,

This urge controls me,

I never want to leave,

The night ride, a window,

To a sublime new reality,

Night train, never take me home,

You've stolen me away,

From all I thought I knew,

You reveal something new,

A reality I never had perceived,

I'm addicted to your railways,

I'm hooked to your wandering paths,

Never let me go,

Take me where you would will me to go,

So you bring me at dawn,

To a lush valley,

Light trickles in from the sky,

Dare you show me the mysterious,

You welcome me into a mysterious valley,

I climb down, depart the train,

Break through the foliage,

The valley beckons me,

The valley is bright, the night breaks

It threatens to awake me,

But I'm still dreaming,

A corridor appears, a hallway into the mountain side

Down, down, down through the rocks

They cut me, tear at me,

Will I ever make it back?

Something here wants to destroy me,

Will I survive this path?

Yet a presence beckons me,

Calls me home deeper, deeper still

Into the depths below, downward, downward,

Into the watery depths below,

The rocky cavern breaks,

To a wide opening,

A giant room opens before me,

What is this place? 

Something has brought me here,

An image appears on the cavern walls

It lights up for me to see,

I am devoured by the image,

Of a shining glorious mystery,

It has come into me,

It has taken over me,

The mystery has discovered me,

The train serves the master,

The conductor of the train, appears before me,

And I am awe-struck,

The terror fills me,

The horror overwhelms me,

The realization cripples me,

I am broken, crushed, devastated,

But at the moment of complete collapse,

I realize, a candle has been lit in me,

It shines within me, 

The conductor points down ahead,

Toward an opening in the rock face,

The cleft is dark, and cold,

I can't see my way,

Still the conductor beckons me,

'Go between the rocks, go all the way'

So I follow the light, 

It's lit within me,

It burns ever so softly,

I began my blind journey,

Clinging to the walls,

Climbing my way out anxiously,

The rocks break

The sunlit valley before me,

I'm not who I used to be,

The day before me awakens,

Disappointed at first,

But fire within keeps burning,

So my journey begins,

An exile in a lost land,

The train and the conductor,

Have changed everything,

The journey begins today,

A new wondrous adventure,

In the depths of the valleys.