Finding Hope Again after a Dark Time

Have you ever had a really tough week? That was this last week for me. I’ve been working long hours, and at the same time I was not feeling well, with this really bad anxiety that I could’ve figure out where it was even coming from. At the same time I’m very new to the area, and all the stresses of ministry, and it all culminated in a very difficult week. I was feeling the strain. I was in tears. And I was wondering, where is God? I kept praying and praying, but the situation didn’t seem to improve. That lasted for a few days, more, a week, a month, and soon you think well, is it going to change ever? Then, something happened. It had been raining each day, everyday, tons of rain, and then the rain stopped, and we saw this beautiful double rainbow appear over the church. It was gorgeous. Beautiful. Glorious even. And others have felt this too, but when I saw it, I knew it was sign from God, that everything was going to be OK.

Now mind you nothing had changed in my situation, I was still tired, overwhelmed, bad anxiety, all of it, and yet I felt a peace come over me, that there was hope, and God was at work, and everything would be ok.

Last week we talked about the dark night of the soul, the rock bottom experience. This was a place of hopelessness, where all seemed lost for a time.

After the dark season, we find ourselves, like the faun in the deep woods, among the autumn trees, panting for streams of water.

Why do certain animals pant? They do so to release heat from their bodies, because they don’t sweat like humans do. This process of panting releases heat by the evaporating of water from the mouth of the animal. But this also causes loss of water, which the animal must eventually replenish.

We’re in Psalm 42 and 43 today, though our modern bible’s separate them into two separate psalms, many Hebrew manuscripts cite them as one psalm together. 

It begins like this, verses 1-2:
"1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?"

After the crisis, the dark moment, we find ourselves leveled. We find ourselves damaged, and broken. Like the deer panting, we’ve panted in pain after the struggle. The thoughts have been racing. The tears flowing. The ego has been leveled. Pride has been dealt with.

We’ve been through pain, confusion and heart ache. And it’s given us a surprising gift: We long for God more than we used to. After the bottom, we find ourselves with a stronger desire for God’s presence.

Anything else in life that we used to seek for pleasure seems meaningless, because it was useless during our struggle. The only thing that mattered was God. The struggle was actually a gift. It pushed us closer to God. And that’s exactly where we needed to be.

Thank God for the struggle. Even though, it was unbearable at the time. My soul thirsts for God now. When, how soon can I go meet with him? There is one word that describes this reality of the after the struggle thirst for God. Our topic today is hope.

What is hope exactly?

Here’s how Noah Webster defined hope in his dictionary, in a spiritual sense: “Confidence in a future event; the highest degree of well founded expectation of good; as a hope founded on God's gracious promises”

Hope is the light that first begins to shine in the darkness of our difficulties. Hope is several things. It’s a sense that everything is going to be ok. It’s an emotion of joy or excitement that things will be better. It’s confidence in a brighter future.

Hopelessness, is the opposite of hope. Its talked about in verse 3: "My tears have been my food day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

Tears become as constant as eating meals each day, and people keep saying to him, why isn’t God helping you?

These two things define hopelessness: A situation of ongoing grief, matched with a sense that God isn’t answering.

It’s a terrible place to be as a person. A few times in my life I have felt something similar. I recall when I was battling drinking addiction, I had been to treatment 5, 6, 7 times. And I couldn’t get sober. I would relapse after 30 days, or 4 months, just once I stayed sober 11 months. But I would always relapse. And after 9 years of that, I just gave up hope that I could ever get sober. Many alcoholics I think end up there, they just believe alcohol has them no matter what. And the only escape will be death. Thankfully, when I cried out to Jesus Christ, and asked him to be my savior, suddenly, I was able to stay sober long term because I had a powerful new friend, a higher power to help me through recovery.

I remember the thrill of hope, in the first three weeks of attending recovery groups. I was attending several times a week and I realized suddenly, wait a minute, I haven’t had a drink in 3 weeks! This is a miracle! And it didn’t even take will power, instead, God had removed the issue, as long as I did my part and maintained my spiritual condition.

So the psalm writer here, one of the sons of Korah, is battling hopelessness. He feels so defeated by his situation. But he’s going to begin a process through which he will find hope again.

For me, hope came about because my situation changed. But for many, the situation isn’t going to change right away. For the psalmist, he has to find hope, even though things aren’t changing.

Verse 4 says this: “4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God
under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
among the festive throng.”

Theologians believe that this man is in exile while he writes this psalm, far away from the temple of God in Jerusalem.

Notice, he is pouring out his soul. By writing this psalm, he’s pouring out the struggle. Many of us today, we can’t process the struggle because it’s locked inside. We have to let it out to a safe person. We have to write it on paper. We have to get it out of our head and onto paper.

So the psalmist pours out the truth, and then he remembers what he longs for, a time when he would often go to the temple of God, along with others, under God’s protection, with shouts of joy and praise.

Two things here: first of all, he’s remembering a good time, and it’s making him feel sad. Because that good time is gone. And he wants it back. 

Second thing, is it’s also giving him hope to remember this. Because it’s a hint from God, that it could happen again. If he dares to hope and believe.

You ever think back to the good ol' days? It’s fun, it’s also hard. Part of you wants to go back, but part of you knows you can’t.

The psalm writer battles hopelessness. Can my situation ever change?

Verse 5 he says: “5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”

He is talking to his own soul. He’s talking to himself. Do you ever talk to yourself? The Bible says sometimes we need to speak to ourselves.

"Why are you so down? Why so disturbed?"

"Put your hope in God." It’s an encouragement he’s making to his own soul. It reminds me of the Psalm (103) of David that says, “Bless the Lord, oh my soul.” He’s speaking to his own soul.

Sometimes our hearts just get heavy, and that’s OK for a time. But there comes the moment when we realize, I’ve processed the pain, I’ve shared it, now it’s time to step forward into hope.

Let’s do that right now. Pray this with me, as a word to your own soul, before God.

Prayer: “My soul, I call you in the name of Jesus Christ, to hope in God.”

He longs for the temple. Notice the hope, he declares, “I will yet praise Him.” He’s believing, hoping, knowing, confidently, that a time will come in the future when he will praise God in the temple again.

But the internal battle is not over, it’s just begun. He continues, verses 6:

“My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar."

These lands he speaks of are far from the temple in Jerusalem, the Jordan river, Mt. Hermon, clearly he is far from home, in exile, most likely in unsafe circumstances. But as he travels these far off lands he keeps remembering God.

Similarly, in dark seasons we want to remember God. We want to talk about memories of answered prayer. Memories of times when he delivered us. Memories of times when he helped us. Memories of times when he gave us a breakthrough or taught us something new. These memories are precious. We should write them down, so we never forget. I keep a journal, to document my experiences as a Christian.

It’s the most amazing journey you can take, with the Creator of the universe. There is nothing boring about being a Christian if you’re engaged in the adventure. If you’re just sitting in church on Sunday it will be boring. But if you’re engaged in seeing your life spiritually, praying, in the word, using your gifts, it will be an unbelievable adventure.

And those memories of God’s faithfulness will sustain us through times of hopelessness. They move us back toward hope.

Next, verse 7: “7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.”

In the deep of despair, paradoxically, it produces just as deep a cry to God.

A little prayer with little emotional depth has little value. But a deep cry of the heart, coming from a deep place of despair has huge value.

Before I was a Christian, I could never understand why I needed a savior. But the value of the suffering I went through was priceless, because it gave me the gift to finally understand and cry out, “Lord Jesus please save me!”

The deep despair calls out within us reaching to the depths of God, as a cry for help.

Next, verse 8: “By day the Lord directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.”

From the deep despair the cry rings out to God, the darkness shakes with the cry of our heart, and something shifts spiritually.

Verse 8 feels like such a sudden shift. He’s now looking at God, he’s beginning to hope in God again. He sees God’s actions in the world. He’s focused on His Father’s work. By day he sees God’s love at work, at night he is hearing a song within.

You ever have a Christian song come into your mind? Or maybe you wake up with it? Sometimes it’ll be like 7am and I’m humming some hymn I haven’t heard in years.

Then comes prayer to the God of His life. He is remembering the goodness of God and applying it like balm on his soul.

Yet he immediately turns to God with questions:

Verses 9-10: "9 I say to God my Rock,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

The psalm writer is turning to God directly in the struggle, praying and seeking the Lord’s heart.

Why is this happening?

Why are my enemies oppressing me?
Why must I go about grieved?

It’s important to note that in our lives we will face enemies, difficulties with other people. That’s to be expected. We’ve all faced it before, and it’ll happen in the future. But though we face enemies, it’s always wise to realize who the true enemy is: It’s demons, it’s Satan. Our enemy is not really people, it’s the demons working through those people.

Notice how the psalmist poses questions to God, it’s OK to ask God questions. But always return again to trust in Him, once the questions have been laid before him. Watch for his answers. But always trust.

Next, verse 11: “11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”

Second time the author speaks to his own soul, again giving the challenge to hope in God.

What struggle are you facing in your life, where you need to return to hope? Even if things don’t work out the way you want, can you still return to hope?

Let us for the second time, call our souls to hope in God: 

Prayer: “My soul, I call you in the name of Jesus Christ, to hope in God.”

This psalm continues into psalm 43, verse 1, says this:
“1 Vindicate me, my God,
and plead my cause
against an unfaithful nation.
Rescue me from those who are
deceitful and wicked.”

Next, the psalmist seeks vindication against his enemies. And we discover the enemy is an unfaithful nation.

Secondly, rescue, he seeks to be rescued from deceitful people.

The psalmist desires vindication and rescue from a situation of exile and lostness. He is in a time of wandering and longs for times of refreshing to come. He knows this can only come from God. He can't make things right, he can't return to Jerusalem, but he knows God can orchestrate events to bring him home, if only he'll trust and wait on Him. 

Next, verse 2 “You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”

God is my stronghold, my safe place. That’s what the scripture says. But then why do I see something contradicting that in front of me?

Sometimes we have to cite God’s word back to him, and say, "Lord your word says this, so please rise up and protect me."

There are periods of time where we could describe it as going about mourning, oppressed. Difficulty is biblical. Victory is also biblical. We can call out the victory, and ask God for it, citing his word back to Him.

Verses 3 and 4 are really the key here:
"3 Send me your light and your faithful care,
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.

4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.”

This is his desire. This is everything he wants. He’s in exile, living in the mountains and valleys. But he plays out before God what it would be like to be healed, restored, and set right.

He plays it out in his mind, he says Lord send me your light and your faithful care. Light as we’ve talked about, implies a light to our path, to guide us. Like a flashlight at night.

Faithful care implies God leading us down the path personally, that he just lit. That’s what Jesus does for us every day. This light and path he envisions, would lead him toward the presence of God. The altar where man met with God.

It would bring 2 things into his life: Joy and delight.

Then sitting there before the altar, with God, he would play a song on his lyre, joyous, praising, loving, resting in His God’s presence.

He envisions all this to bring hope into his heart. I believe he also envisions this as a prayer request. This can be very powerful in prayer.

Sometimes when I pray for an unsaved loved one, I visualize them in church worshiping God. I want to see it and make it my prayer visually. If I’m praying for someone to be healed I visualize them healed and healthy and strong. This is believing it is already done, which Jesus tells us to do.

Lastly, verse 5: "Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."

He’s just had this splendid vision of seeing himself coming before God in the temple, but he’s still in the wilderness. Yet He believes it will happen soon. It has become hope, because he is confident, soon he will be right where he longs to be, at the altar, in the temple, in Jerusalem. He can’t see it, yet by all these things he did in this psalm, he has found a place of faithful confident hope. He trusts it will happen.

So one last time he speaks to his own soul, calling out hope. Third time today, we will pray the same.

What situation are you facing? What health struggle? What recent loss? What mental health struggle? What post traumatic stress? Think about it right now, that thing.

Now, despite everything, I want you to pray with me, believing and commanding your soul to hope in God.

Prayer: “My soul, I command you in the love of Jesus Christ, to hope in God again.”

Healing Prayer: Father, we come before you with bitterness from times when we’ve lost hope. But we come to you today confessing this bitterness and depression and discouragement. We repent of these things, we will not live in discouragement or bitterness. Lord Jesus heal our heart bitterness and discouragement we give it to you, into your hands Lord Jesus, replace the hurt Lord, with hope, faithful hope, for we will yet praise you, our Savior and God, in Jesus name we choose hope, Amen.

So at last, like the deer panting for streams of water, our souls hope again. We drink deep of the living water of God, and we are refreshed. Hope takes over again, where there had been only sorrow. Hope reigns in us again. Amen.

The Dark Night of the Soul in the Christian Life

I was talking to a friend of mine from a previous area, on the phone. He’s someone I sponsored and mentored during my time at the Salvation Army in that city.

He had called to let me know that he had gotten into trouble. He had gotten into a car accident, while drinking, and received a third DUI. And that he was most likely going to have to spend about a year in prison. 

I myself am recovered from a drinking problem, many years ago, so I can see what he’s going through from a unique perspective.

What do you say to someone in that circumstance? He knows he did something wrong. He takes responsibility for it. He didn’t try to make excuses. So I told him something I’ve come to believe very deeply, that often these things that we experience, though they seem to be taking us downward, and deeper into darkness, it may actually be creating a scenario in which your ego is so thoroughly humbled, that you are finally ready and able to give yourself entirely to God.

Can walking through a time of great darkness actually lead to an even greater light?

St. John of the Cross wrote on this topic in his work “The Dark Night of the Soul.” St. John of the Cross was born in 1542 and served as a Spanish roman catholic priest.

St. John went through many difficult experiences in his life, and wrote about the dark night of the soul, as a poem, that he later wrote commentary on, that became the book we have today.

I want to share some of the poem with you, it’s pretty brief, but powerful. I’m going to share it in modern English, the old English is kind of hard to follow.

It says this: “The Dark Night of the Soul
by St. John of the Cross — modern English rendering”

1 On a dark night,
burning with love and longing,
oh, the sheer grace!
I went out unseen,
my house now stilled and sleeping.

2 Hidden by the night,
and by the secret stair I fled —
oh, the joy, the thrill! —
hidden from sight,
my house at peace and resting.

3 In that blessed night,
in secret, no one saw me,
nor did I see a thing —
my light and guide
was only that which burned inside my heart.

4 It guided me,
truer than the noonday sun,
to where the One was waiting —
the One I knew so well —
in a place where no one else appeared.

5 Oh night, you were my guide!
Oh night, kinder than the dawn!
Oh night that joined
the Lover with the beloved,
beloved transformed in the Lover!”

He wrote this beautiful poem to express a simple spiritual truth that we’re going to explore today. The fact is, that seasons of profound darkness, though painful, lead to great spiritual breakthroughs, and ultimately a concept he calls union with the Lord or "divine union."

For this purpose we turn today to Psalm 88. Of all the 150 psalms in the Bible, this psalm is most certainly the darkest. This will be the low point, the rock bottom experience, of the series we’re going through, healing journey.

But I deeply believe, we must touch this moment, before we can rise to greater levels of spiritual growth.

Psalm 88 was written by a man named Heman the Ezrahite. Heman was a skilled singer and song writer, considered one of the wisest men of his time. He would’ve served as a singer during the time of King David, and Solomon was compared to to Heman, saying that Solomon was even wiser than Heman. He was part of the tribe of the Levites, and he was the grandson of Samuel the prophet. He may have had a tough upbringing, because we know that Samuel’s sons did not follow Samuel’s ways, and perverted justice. His father was one of those two sons, named Joel.

Psalm 88 begins like this: (v1-2) “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.”

We see this psalm starts with trust. He trusts God’s character. He views God as the God who saves. He’s praying day and night for God’s help. He’s crying out and waiting for an answer. It’s not so different from many situations we’ve all been in. Needing an answer, calling out to God.

Next, verses 3-4: “3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.”

This is someone who is overwhelmed. The situation they are facing is too much. Their ability to handle it is a 10, but the situation is at a 12. It’s over the line.

In fact this situation is so severe he feels near death. So this isn’t any run of the mill situation, where aunt Susie has a sprained ankle or something, this is serious. Or, at least it’s a combination of situations all occurring at the same time, to culminate into something that is overwhelming.

The journey downward has begun. This is a journey I can best relate to my journey downward in ministry. I had been a new pastor at the Salvation Army, brash, excited, new, thinking he was all that, and this led to a fall. Several things all together happened, loneliness, depression, bad stomach problems over a long period, ego and self will, the corps struggling financially, and two of my senior leaders leaving the church. Then my dearest companion, my favorite cat, Sunshine was her name, passed away as well. All these things produced a downward spiral. 

The walk down the dark stairs had come. And I had had other rock bottom experiences, particularly prior to salvation, in my twenties, when I was fleeing from the Lord and chasing pleasure.

Heman the psalmist feels like he’s going down to the bottom of the pit. He says he feels like one without strength. That is so hard, when you’re already going through something hard, and you also feel weak physically, or emotionally. It makes it so much worse. He is down in a pit, and without strength to deal with it.

St John of the Cross writes about this experience of going into darkness, as a journey of purification through suffering. This experience helps remove improper attachments, and clears away inadequate views of who God is, and changes our thinking profoundly, to produce something beautiful through the darkness.

Next, verse 5: “I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.”

In the dark moments of our lives, we feel it so strongly. We take those steps downward, and we weep as we do. Our emotions are so strong. They overwhelm us. And we feel martyred by life, struck down. There have been a handful of times in my life where the circumstances were so severe I really did feel martyred, crushed, and ruined.

During my parents divorce I got expelled from high school, and I was using pills to make it feel better, my friends abandoned me, and a girl I'd liked for years had rejected me. And I remember laying on the floor one day in the basement in my room and I simply felt ruined, leveled.

Next, verses 6-9, Heman writes: “6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.”

This is the lowest point of the psalm. He has reached rock bottom itself. He feels the wrath of God on him. He is overwhelmed by wave after wave of anxiety, fear, and sorrow and he’s also isolated, his close friends have left him. He feels confined, like in a prison cell, he senses there is no escape, and his eyes have changed, gone dim with grief.

When someone is hurting deeply, you can see it in their eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul.

Have you felt this way in your life? What scenario are you thinking of in your own life that relates to the dark night? Remember this: There was a purpose in your suffering. It was not for nothing. And don’t necessarily assume God created the scenario you’re thinking of, he may not have, because sinful things happen in a sinful world. Then again maybe God did send the scenario that happened. Or He at least used the pain to do a work in your soul.

There is a profound purpose to these dark nights of the soul. They have a reason. They do a mighty work in us. It’s never pleasant at the time, but after we soon discover, I’m radically different than I used to be. I’ve become a different, more spiritually mature person, more devoted, more victorious, more humble, and my view of God has changed.

My view of God has changed so many times. For a time, God to me was a doctrine, then a vague belief, soon he was a mystery, now today, he is a burning fire of Holy love in my soul. I went from seeing God as a far off being, to seeing Jesus Christ as my personal best friend and King. These changes often required dark nights of the soul to develop.

Next verses 9-12: "9 I call to you, Lord, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?”

I believe verses 9-12 are prophetic. The psalmist is asking these questions, and the answers to these questions point forward to a time that had not yet come for Heman, the time when the suffering messiah would live, and prove true the things Heman writes here.

The NASB renders verse 10, “Will you show wonders to the dead?”

I thought to myself, the answer is yes. Jesus showed wonders to the dead, he raised Lazarus from the dead, and Jairus’s daughter.

"Do the departed spirits rise up and praise you?"

Again the answer is yes, the deceased spirits of humans in Christ rise up, and worship God in heaven, they are worshiping right now!

“Is your love declared in the grave?” I know an empty grave that declared holy love! It is declared in the empty tomb, the grave of Jesus Christ, declaring the love of God to a lost world, because Jesus had risen from the dead! He is alive.

“Is God’s faithfulness declared in abaddon, the place of destruction?”
Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?”

Verse 11-12 points us back to the current struggle of Heman. Is this deep darkness he’s experiencing really a wonder of God in his life?

That is what St. John of the Cross tells us in his book "The Dark Night of the Soul." These dark seasons we go through are actually paradoxically moments that bring great light after, huge shifts in our lives toward the living God.

St. John of the Cross wrote: “In the dark night of the soul bright flows the river of God”

When we feel outright oblivion is there actually a great blessing hidden in this? Is the passage through the dark tunnel actually leading to a deeper union with God? Dare we even say, that this could mean that the dark journey through the tunnel was actually worth it?

Next, verses 13-14 “13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?”

The dark season feels like rejection from the Lord, but it really isn’t. He has not rejected you in those hard times. Let your prayers continue to rise up to Him.

The psalmist continues with his lament, verses 15-16:

"15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.”

I believe it is very pleasing to the Lord that we lament in our dark night of the soul. The word “lament” means to grieve, to mourn, to weep, to express sorrow.

So, how do we respond to the dark night of the soul, even knowing that it will bring us closer to God? Should we celebrate? No, we should express our sorrow. This is biblical. There is an entire book of the bible dedicated to lamenting, it’s called Lamentations.

Yet I think in the midst of the mourning, we can come to a place, by God’s grace, where we turn to the Lord, and say, “Thank you God for this struggle, for I know it’s making me more like Jesus.” In a moment, I want to give all of us an opportunity to thank God for the struggle. But first, last two verses.

Verses 17-18: “17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.”

The psalm concludes with Heman declaring, that the dark night of the soul has completely engulfed him, like flood waters rushing through a city. His house has been swept away. His very self has been swept away. He is alone, with no friends or neighbors, he is defeated, crushed, and he even says darkness is his closest friend.

And that is how the psalm ends. No other psalm in the bible ends on such a dark note except for Psalm 88.

This is a man who has been engulfed by the dark night. Does the story end there? Is it over for him? I don’t believe so. For on the other side of the dark night, there comes the day. And the dark night has had great effect.

His “self” has been swept away, his ego, his old way of being. He has died to self. And I believe, on the other side of this event, Heman rose again from the ashes, a new man, humbled, renewed, strengthened, and stronger than before, closer with God, united with God, all the ego swept away, with God at the center. (But I honestly can’t prove that from scripture, because we don’t find our how the story ends.)

But maybe it’s actually good that it ends on this low note. Sometimes when we’re in the midst of something really hard, we don’t need to hear about how it’s all going to be ok. We need to just let ourselves be in a place of sorrow, to express it. It helps us identify our pain, and let it have it’s place.

Sometimes the hardest thing when I’m mourning, is to have someone come along and try to cheer me up. I don’t want to be cheered up, I need to grieve this, and when I’m through the grief, then I want to be cheered up, but not yet. If you’re there today, know that it’s ok to be grieved for a time. Proverb 25:20 deals with this.

But for the sake of those of us here who are ready for the step beyond the dark night into the light, we move forward to the dawn. St. John of the cross tells us in his book, that the purpose in the two types of dark nights he talks about, the dark night of the senses and the dark night of the spirit, is to bring us along a pathway of death to self, where we let go of ego, let go of pride, let go of improper attachments, and find a state in which we are in union with God. The dark night of the senses is more common, and affects our sense of God's presence with us, the dark night of the spirit is more rare and much deeper. The goal in each: Deeper union with God. 

If you remember, Jesus prayed for his disciples in the upper room, that they would be one with God, in John 17, truly and completely united with God. A heart union. St. John of the Cross makes the case that this can only happen when we go through the dark nights of the soul, but, on the other end, we find ourselves transformed, we find our view of God transformed, and we rise up on eagles wings, with new spiritual strength, set free to experience the depths of God’s heart.

We’re told in the Bible to give thanks in all circumstances. We often thank God for good things. But can we also thank God for the dark night of the soul.

Would you pray this simple prayer with me today:

“Thank you God for the struggle I'm going through, for I know it’s making me more like Jesus.”

Closing Prayer: Lord Jesus, heal our bitterness, from these dark times. Heal us from the pain, from the memories, heal us from the grief and lament. We thank you for your love shed abroad in our hearts, that overwhelms and heals the pain. You are so very good to us. In the darkness, we trust you. In Jesus name, amen.

Overcoming Fear by making God our Foundation

We have a beautiful, friendly dog named Sammy. My wife and I love him. He is a blue heeler/border collie mix. He’s very sensitive. We believe he may have been mistreated when he was a pup. But if you’ve ever had a border collie, they are terrified by storms, and for Sammy, fireworks too.

He really doesn’t like loud noises and he will climb up on top of you and try to climb inside your skin, for protection during a storm.

When we lived in Gary, Indiana, we’d walk him around the neighborhood during summer, and if he heard a firework go off, he would freeze in place, and we’d have to coax him to keep going.



Now we recently moved here to northern Michigan, and we live right by a very busy road, where vehicles catch a high speed, either trying to climb the hill or shoot down it. And it sometimes produces noises in our home.

And its meant that Sammy shakes from these noises. It leads him to a state of fear, not because there is any real danger, but because it reminds him of dangers in the past. All from things he went through when he was younger.

Thankfully, he’s slowly getting used to the noises from the road, and we’re hopeful he wont shake as much anymore.

Why do I bring this up today? Well, today as we continue the healing journey, we’re talking about the topic of fear.

For Sammy, our dog, there were real fears in the past that affect the present and caused a state of fear.

Have you dealt with something similar? Do you battle with fear or anxiety in your life? I think many of us do.

This is no surprise to God, because in His word he constantly addresses this issue of fear and commands us, do not be afraid, be strong and courageous. He understands the battle with fear. And he understands how to inspire us toward courage.

When we’ve faced life on it’s own terms, it leads to fear. Particularly, if many us lived much of our lives without a strong relationship with God, we often felt on our own in the world, trying to manipulate events in our lives to go the way we wanted them to.

Many function this way today, trying desperately to control things in their lives, in a cloud of anxiety and fear. In fact, many Christians continue to live that way, even though they have a powerful God who wants to set them free from that.

So here’s the goal today: To identify what fear is, where it came from, and how to embrace a new heart position, which positions God as our Lord, over our lives, in such a way, that it eliminates the need for fear, and it also eliminates a need to try to hyper-control our lives.

Let’s look at two mindsets, two bases for stability in life. One is healthy, one is not.

First, the family as basis for stability. This is the way most non-believers would live their lives, their basis for stability is their family, their parents, siblings, their wife or husband, their family structure. This is a good God given basis for stability, it provides stability for children. But it’s missing something. 

Without God as the basis underneath the family, if a problem occurs in the family, the foundation is cracked, and it causes rapid instability. Not to mention, the family can’t provide all the needs for the people in it, it’s a firm foundation, but it’s not the eternal foundation. Children of divorced families who have as the basis their family only, without God, it’s like being tossed into a sea of confusion.

Many Christians practically live this way. They don’t really rely on stability from God.

Second is the correct model. We have the family as the nest and protection for the children, for the parents, but, that nest rests on the firm foundation of reliance on God.

There are numerous attitudes that lead to a fear state. These are often decisions we made at a very young age, often to respond to something in the world, maybe to gain our parents approval, or compete with fellow students or a sibling, or after a family crisis, we made some decision that made us feel safe.

Here are five possible sources for a fear state in our lives, a heart position that doesn't depend on God: 

One attitude is control. If I can just figure out the right thing to say, the right promotion to get, if I can manipulate these events, then I’ll be happy. It's all on me, thus, fear. Basis is self + ability to control.

Second one is perfectionism, if I can just be perfect in everything I do, then my life will work out the way I want it. Basis is self + perfect effort. The problem is we can't produce perfect effort. We always fall short. 

A third, is if I can just follow all the rules God wants me to follow my life will be what it’s supposed to be. Basis is self + God's rules. It's not built on a firm love relationship with God.

Fourth, with the help of this substance (anger, drinking, sex, pride, drugs) I can finally be myself and get what I want out of life. Basis is self + substance/emotional high. Doomed approach, the substance/emotion will always fail us in the long term. 

Fifth, if I can just get a lot of money, nice house, good marriage, insurance, car, I can protect myself with my resources. Basis is self + wealth. Wealth can't provide the security only God can provide.

All of these attempts will fail for one reason: They rely on human effort to achieve a successful life.

The correct road to take, is true surrender to God. He’s in charge, and I’m in love with Him. I learn to love Jesus and love like Jesus with the Spirit’s help. Then God will lead my life in the right direction. In this view, the only fear is the fear of God, which is clean, any other fear is diminished/eliminated.

The correct basis is: God + Spirit inspired self effort. We still have a part to play, but God is the foundation. He is the King of our lives. Our part is to follow the direction of God, His leading, not alone, but with the help of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. 

Before we go any further, I want to offer an opportunity to pray, and ask God to be the firm foundation. Maybe you’re thinking to yourself, I do kinda rely on my family, I don’t really see God as my foundation, as my true stability. I try to run my own life, and it fills me with anxiety. Let God run your life. Let God be your stability.

Prayer: Father, please forgive us for treating ourselves or our family or our money or our own craftiness, as the stability in our lives. We repent of this attitude, for God it has given us anxiety and fear. Lord, set us free. We name you Lord God almighty as our firm foundation, as the power in our lives, to lead our lives. Lord we turn to you, and we make you our foundation, in Jesus name, amen.

Why does this eliminate fear? Because it’s not on you anymore. God’s in charge of your life, your just his agent following his will.

Now, to learn this path, we’re going to focus in on Psalm 27:1-6.

Verse 1 says this, “The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?”

Light symbolized guidance. This is exactly what we need in an uncertain world. As we pray, and study his word, the light appears over our path, and we know instinctually the right way to go.

It also says, salvation, God provides the covering for our sins, through the blood of His son.

Third, it also says God is a stronghold. That means safety. We are safe in Him.

Three things there to help begin to dispel fear: Guidance, Covering, and a Safe place.

Who should I fear? Of what should I be afraid? I have guidance through life, covering of my sins, and a stronghold for protection. That’s a powerful trio right there.

Yet life still happens, and we can face it with God. Verses 2-3 say this: "2 When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.”

We live in an uncertain world, full of difficulties and problems. World events affect us, like the COVID pandemic, or middle eastern conflicts, or economic downturns. Personal incidents in our lives affect us.

Yet we’re told, just like David, when the wicked advance against us, and they do advance, it is our enemies that will stumble and fall as they approach. Even if enemies besiege the city, my heart will not fear. Here we get a clue, we see fear occurs in the heart. It is not primarily the mind.

David writes, even if war breaks out against me, I will be confident. Two keys here: My heart will not fear. And I will be confident. We choose to reject fear, block it from our heart. And we choose to embrace confidence, a positive good.

That Hebrew word for confident is bāṭaḥ (baw’tahk.) It can mean trust, boldness, to feel safe, even to be careless.

We can have this strong confidence because we know God is in control, despite all that is going on in the world.

I remember during COVID, when it first started, the streets were empty. Each day I would drive to the Salvation Army, and the city felt like a ghost town. I remember feeling a fear everywhere. Everyone was so afraid. They were panicked. And I remember one day, it was like God spoke to me, and said you have to make a choice. Either you trust me or you live in fear. Which is it? I chose to trust God. And the fear began to fade away.

What is your choice today? Will you let God be in control. Or will you continue to try to control things in a cloud of fear?

We have so much in our country. Back in ancient times, in David’s time, you could be attacked on the road by bandits, there was no guarantee you would have food on the table, enemy nations routinely attack and destroyed entire cities. They had no choice but to trust in God, there was no other option. It was kind of like that during COVID, there was no control, because how do you control a virus? People who did try to control became obsessed and afraid.

But here's the problem in the west: We have incredible material abundance. We think we don’t need to rely on God. We have safety in the USA from our enemies. We have money, plentiful food, resources, technology, and medicine. It’s led many to think they don’t have to rely on God, and the result is anxiety. 

We're so good at pathologizing these issues in the USA. Did you about 20% of American claim an anxiety disorder of some kind? And did you know about 18% of Americans claim depression of some kind? I wonder how many of those cases, about 90 million people in these two categories, are actually based on the simple fact that they don't have a firm reliance on God in their lives? Now I'm the first to say that I've battled these issues as a Christian. I know many of these issues are real. But I wonder how many in those two categories are really hearts and minds longing for the stability of a rock-solid faith built relationship with Jesus Christ the king of the universe? I would bet, more than we might realize. 

Again, if that’s you today, and you’re realizing, I don’t really rely on God, I rely on my stuff, and my cash, repent right now. Declare to the Lord, "You are my safety, I lean on you God! Not on my stuff."

Fear and controlling tendencies comes from relying on our resources. Peace and confidence come from resting in the arms of God.

Next, verse 4: “One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.”

We’ve made our beginning by committing to God to trust in Him and rely on Him for our security and safety. Now it’s time to lock it into place.

Many of my sermons you hear me repeat this theme, and I’m going to do it again today. The challenge here, to secure our commitment to God, is to go deeper in our relationship with Him.

That’s what it’s all about. The more firm we are in our practices with God, in prayer and the word, the more fear will flee and peace and confidence will replace it.

King David’s one desire is to “dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of his(my) life.” We often think of dwelling in God’s house as heaven. But that isn’t what this refers to.

It was said of Moses, that Moses would go into the tent of meeting to meet with God face to face. But it was said of Joshua, Moses assistant, that Moses would leave, but Joshua would stay (Exodus 33:11). 

Joshua was so amazed by God’s presence, he would stay in the tent and bask in God’s presence. And this pleased God. Have you learned to bask? To dwell in God’s house, is to be so often in prayer, talking to God, that we bask in His presence throughout our days. You may think well, that’s for super spiritual types, pastors, elders, no, it’s for everyday, average believers, who decide they want to go deeper.

Cultivate an intimacy with God, and you will see that fear is driven away by His presence.

Jesus Christ, the king of the universe, can be your best friend. Yes, your Lord, your savior, but also a dear, close friend. Do you see Him that way? Alive in your life, with you, close to you? That is who he wants to be to you if you’ll see Him that way, and allow Him into your heart, not just as savior, but also as intimate friend.

Next, David speaks of the day of trouble. Verse 5: “For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.”

The day of trouble will come. I’ve always found that in the Christian life. It’s not constant. But it does come.

We see even in that situation, God will keep us safe in His presence. Not only that, it references the most holy place here, the shelter of the sacred tent, the place of total protection. The KJV calls it the secret place. It’s not a physical place, but something that occurs in the heart, when we draw very close to God in times of trouble. He provides a spiritual safe room, you might call it, a place of peace and protection.

A heart change occurs there, and we’re delivered from fear. And it says he sets us high upon a rock.

The times of trouble we go through, are like storm clouds along a plain. And as we pray, it’s like we rise up like an eagle through the layers of the storm. And we’re praying and we’re seeking God, and we’re reading the word, and it feels like we’re not finding relief. But we’re rising, level by level. And as we continue and we go into that secret place of extended communion with God, at this moment we break through, above the storm. And we find a rock there, high above the problems. We get this wide view, a high God given view and we look down and say, wow, I see the storm, but God has placed me above it.

I admit many times, I don’t focus enough to make it up above the storm, I get upset, I give up, and I allow the storm to rain upon me, but the word here tells us, if we seek God, he will provide a rock, above the fray. Firm, safe, with a wide view showing us the truth.

Lastly, verse 6: “Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.”

The idea of David’s head being exalted, it means lifted. For a man to have his head bowed down indicated defeat. David goes from crouching in fear, to standing firm, head lifted up, looking to God. Above his enemies.

Notice also, that David, though he was a man after God’s own heart, at the beginning of the psalm, he had to fight back the fear. So, it doesn’t mean we suddenly don’t have any fear. Or if we’re afraid from time to time, that we’ve failed God, that’s not true. Fear and anxiety will still occur, but, we do not have to be ruled by it. It does not have to control us. We can control it. And we can have victory.

All is well once again, as David gathers with his people. The crisis has passed. God has delivered him. They gather at the temple, and make sacrifices to God, with shouts of joy!

They sing and make music to God. It’s a celebration. God has delivered his servant from fear. David has chosen trust. And this trust has paid off. God is the firm foundation for David.

I’d like to pray one more time, and we’re going to ask God to bring deliverance from a spirit of fear. Sometimes we have a heavy spirit upon. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes this can be an unclean spirit, a demonic power that is causing us to feel fearful and heavy and anxious. So we’re going to pray, to caste that off, and replace it with a spirit of praise.

Prayer: Father, we stand before you, asking you to search our hearts. We confess that we’ve allowed at times a spirit of fear, of heaviness, of anxiety to keep us down. Lord we cast off the spirit of fear, be cast off in Jesus name, and we replace it with a garment of praise to our God. We renounce fear. We choose trust. We choose confidence. We choose courage. Lord, deliver us, in Jesus name, amen.

Healing Process for Racing Thoughts: A Pathway to the Truth of the Situation with God's Help

"A famous evangelist told the following incident: I have a friend who in a time of business recession lost his job, a sizable fortune, and his beautiful home. To add to his sorrow, his precious wife died; yet he tenaciously held to his faith -- the only thing he had left. One day when he was out walking in search of employment, he stopped to watch some men who were doing stonework on a large church. One of them was chiseling a triangular piece of rock. 'Where are you going to put that?' he asked. The workman said, 'Do you see that little opening up there near the spire? Well, I'm shaping this stone down here so that it will fit in up there.' Tears filled my friend's eyes as he walked away, for the Lord had spoken to him through that laborer whose words gave new meaning to his troubled situation." -Our Daily Bread.

Last week we talked about the problem of evil and suffering in the world, from a high view perspective, the big overarching philosophical issue. Today we’re going to hone in on that same struggle, but we’re going to see from the perspective of our own lives.

Particularly, one incident in your life, maybe something you’re going through right now. For each person in the room today, it’ll be different. It could be a struggle at work. Or a health problem. It could be someone you loved that you lost recently. It could be issues in your family, with your children, or your wife or husband. It could be an addiction you’re struggling with quietly. It could be a memory that haunts you. Or even something looming in the future.

As we go through the message today, I want you to hone in on that one thing, and consider how God’s word today can speak into that situation, and help you.

We’re going to be in Psalm 13. I’ll be teaching from the NIV. David wrote this Psalm, most likely during a time when he was being pursued by King Saul. His stress must’ve been high. And David writes this psalm to God to express what he’s going through, and how God helped him.

Let’s dive in today, verse 1: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?”

As soon as a struggle, a tense situation starts in your life, some new health problem, something at work with the boss, loss of a loved one, the first thing I often think is, I can’t stand how I feel right now. How long will this last?

We are waiting in time, as a feeling comes over us that is so strong.

Second part of verse 1, “How long will you hide your face from me?”

It is the perception of David, accurately I believe, that God has hidden his face from him during this struggle.

What does the Bible mean by the face of God? The Hebrew word for the face of God is often translated as "presence." It is the sense of God’s presence in your life.

Very hard to describe this feeling, of sensing God with you at any given moment. I know for me either you sense it or you don’t. But I know when I’m fasting, it will intensify, and I’m more aware of it.

Essentially, you can feel when God is with you. It’s a unique sense, no way I can say how to describe that feeling.

Is it possible that the David is not sensing the presence of God simply because the pain he’s going through is so intense? That’s possible.

I also think it’s just as much true that sometimes God will hide his presence from us for certain periods to teach us something.

As the old saying goes, “The teacher is silent during the test.” So I think this is one of those situations where David is going through it, God masks his presence temporarily, as a form of a test. Will you trust me or not? Your choice. The test begins.

Like David, we experience from time to time a trauma in our lives. Some event that unsettles us. And so the test begins.

I’ll give an example from my own life. When I was in my early teens my dad would make me go to a lot of basketball camps to get better at basketball. I hated these camps. I dreaded it. My dad would let me know ahead of time he had signed me up, and for usually weeks ahead of it, I would worry, and worry, and worry each day, counting down the days until the dreaded day came.

I learned to live in fear, worry, and anxiety.

David describes this in verse 2, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts…”

Oh, to wrestle with those thoughts. You’ve been there haven’t you? The thoughts just keep repeating in your mind, often charged up with emotion surrounding the thought, over and over and over.

In recovery groups, we’d call that squirrel caging. Or hamster wheel. It’s a funny way to describe it, but it’s actually very serious.

The thought just keeps going and going. We replay the resentment over and over, and each time we replay it we refeel it, the anger, the frustration, the confusion, and at it’s worst it can torment us.

So how do we deal with this the repeating thought? Because it can be bad.

There are several solutions. One of the best is to talk to a friend or your pastor, or your wife or husband, and just express the emotion and the thought, and process it.

Another helpful thing is to write it on paper in a journal.

Going for a walk, and just letting out the physical energy can be helpful. Taking a shower can be helpful.

Talking to God about it in prayer, can be so helpful.

However I’ve found that all of those things may not stop the thought process. Because there is a purpose in the thought process.

So, pray over the thought process. I wish I knew that when I was dreading basketball camp, but I didn’t. I didn’t know God that way.

But, when we pray, and let the Spirit lead, the thought process can begin to be drawn in a good direction.

Often God is bringing up the thought to encourage an action in us, connected with the thought. Not always. Sometimes it’s just our mind expressing emotion. But, as we wrestle with the thought, the praying can help guide the thought toward the right path.

Now, it may not always be that. There may be no action needed. In that case as you pray you’ll sense God saying “Be still and know that I’m god.” No action needed.

But, it may be God is helping us wrestle with the thought toward the truth of the situation.

Often if Chelsey and I have a disagreement in our marriage, we will engage in a conversation. Often once we can get past our upset emotions, and we both hear each other, and say "OK I can see you perspective" we begin to approach the truth. She or I see the past trauma link with the current discussion. And we say "Oh, that’s why! You were hurt in a similar way when you were younger." And we find peace.

The goal in the thought-wrestling many times, is to get past the emotion to the truth.

For that we must accept an important principle: I will be Spirit-led not emotion-led.



Often there is a light path and a dark path in the thought-process. The light path leads to the truth. The dark path can lead to ending up stuck in resentment, or fear or anger or some other emotional state. We take an unproductive course. This is where long term trauma can develop, when something sits unresolved, until it’s a painful memory that we can’t even bear to think about.

These are the thoughts. What about the heart? 

Second part of verse 2, “...and day after day have sorrow in my heart?”

Connected with the racing thoughts is often a sorrow in the heart.

It’s a two-fold punch, when we face suffering. The thoughts race and the heart hurts. It’s no wonder we long for God’s help and want the situation to end as soon as possible.

I would push through basketball camp with such fear, and anxiety. The bad things I feared wouldn’t always happen. But sometimes they did. I would get bullied. Verbally harassed. Every sense in my body felt heightened. Fear was my constant companion. 

I remember one time we were waiting by the buses that took us from the dorms to the gymnasiums. There was another player there, a bully who was also in wrestling. And he and his buddies took great pleasure in cornering me and putting me into wrestling moves. One they loved to do to me was put me in the "Texas cloverleaf." I tried to push through, but I became overwhelmed, and I ran away. I was hiding and crying when a kindly janitor found me. He took me to his dorm where he stayed on campus, and he let me lay down in his daughter's bed, she was away of course, and I laid there and wept. Being in a painful situation long enough leads to heart sorrow. The word of God says, "Fathers do not exasperate your sons, or they will give up" (Colossians 3:21).

Next, David writes, “How long will my enemy triumph over me?”

It can be so hard when we see evil winning in the world, and the good guys in retreat.

Who is this enemy? For David it’s a person, King Saul most likely. Who is it for you? A person maybe? A place, a job, an institution? For me it’s often the devil, demonic forces.

But we do face another enemy, one we must deal with: Ourselves. I’m often my worst enemy. My fallen nature doesn’t want to respond the right way to trauma. It wants to hide it, ignore it, leave it in the past. We as Christians often must combat our own sinful attitudes, and say no, I’m going to do the opposite of what I want to do, I’m going to instead do what God wants me to do.

As Jesus said, "Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me" (Matthew 16:24).

Heavy first few verses, I know. But it’s about to get brighter.

Verse 3, “Look on me and answer, Lord my God.”

David sensed God’s face was turned away from him, he is asking God to come and be present in the situation once again. He has turned to prayer, and to seeking God.

Think about all David was going through. He had been anointed king, but then rejected by Saul, who feared him and was jealous of him.

David and his band of followers were having to run and hide from an entire nation that was following Saul. I can’t imagine the kind of stress he was feeling, I was stressed at basketball camp, David was fearing for his very life day and night. I can’t imagine how that must’ve felt.

But David’s turn here is very important. He turns from looking at his own heart and thoughts, which was good, but better now, he's looking directly at God saying please come and be in this.

Next, he says, “Give light to my eyes…”

This could be David asking for wisdom. I think that’s true. But also I think it means, “God show me your way through this.” Or "God carve a path through the wilderness for me." It’s not just asking for advice, it’s asking God to create a path through the struggle.

God create the path, show me through and I’ll walk it.

When your in a traumatic event, many of you are in them now, wrestle in your thoughts, wrestle in your heart, but then begin to look up toward God. Begin to pray and say: "God, create a path through, and give me the wisdom to walk it."

Verse 3 is the turning point... “Give light Lord.”

Next: “Or I will sleep in death, 4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall."

Sometimes we go to the worst case scenario, David goes there and says God if you don’t show up, my enemies will overcome me and rejoice over my fall.

Our minds often go to the worst possible thing. My mom would often come to me when I was younger, and I was so prone to worry. My mom would say, "What’s the worst thing that could happen?" And it usually wasn’t so bad. Don’t sink into the negative.

Walking by the Spirit I’ve found is a bit like surfing on water. If we ride the waves of the Spirit in faith, we ride high, but when we start to doubt, and become negative, we start to sink in the waters, just like Peter when he walked on the water toward Jesus.

We can acknowledge the worst case scenario, while also not getting stuck on it. Instead stay focused on the scriptures. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I shall not fear, though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea. I will be still and know that you are God!

David is wrestling through to a place of beauty, a place of peace, a beautiful meadow, green and lush, bright, and gentle, a place called trust.

Verse 5: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.”

I think the pains we go through in life can be so strong that they hit us the way a sudden storm on the waters hits a boat, one moment the waters are clear and the next a storm hits.

I think for that reason, when the trauma first hits, we focus so much on it, that our trust in God is shaken. We are so focused on the struggle, it shakes our trust.

But, as we process the thoughts, feel the sorrow in our hearts, we wrestle toward the truth. We don’t stuff the situation, or hide from it, we boldly face it, and allow the emotions to flow, then we find a pathway that appears, a way out provided by God. We call on God. God delivers us. And we go up to a higher level of trust, because of what we’ve been through.

We dare to say, “God I trust you in this too.”

This is very pleasing to God. I think it’s the ultimate desired outcome for every pain we go through: To wrestle through, to a place of saying, “God I trust you here too.”

But we have a choice. Unfortunately many choose to say to God: "You let me down, I don’t trust you, how could you let this happen?" And the test is not passed.

This doesn’t mean it’s over or anything, we still belong to God, but the test may repeat again in the future, to give us another opportunity to pass into that higher level of trust.

These scenarios are often test cases: Can you come up to a higher level of trust? Once we do, it’s like the living waters open up to us.

We access the gifts in Jesus Christ our savior. We have so many benefits in the cross of Jesus Christ. More than I think we realize! They are all accessed by the key to the door, which is trust, or faith.

Then the living waters flow through the situation. The living waters flow from the Father, through Jesus Christ, and by way of the Holy Spirit. And we find healing.

At the beginning of the message I asked you to identify the situation you connect with current pain in your life. Would you like to dunk that situation in the living waters of Jesus Christ?

We’re going to pray. I challenge you as we pray, to choose trust of your God in that situation, no matter how painful. As you do, you’ll sense those living waters flow in, because by trusting Him, you’re giving it to him.

Note: Remember, unforgiveness can be a barrier to healing. If there is someone you need to forgive for what they did, pray that prayer of forgiveness first, and ask for God's grace to overcome any bitterness. Also, if there is an active sin involved, you'll want to make a prayer of repentance and ask Christ's forgiveness as well. Unrepentant sin can be a barrier for healing as well.  

Prayer: “Father, we show you the situation we’re in. The memory. The past trauma. The current struggle. Father we confess the pain. We confess the confusion. But, today, we choose to say, Father, we put it in your hands, lighten our eyes, or we will sleep in death. We trust you, we trust in your unfailing love. This situation, we surrender it to you, it’s yours. We trust you. Heal our hearts. Heal our minds. Wash us in your living water, in Jesus name, amen.”

Last verse, as we trust it to God, our heart sorrow turns into heart rejoicing.

Verse 6, “I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”

David went from questioning where God even was in verse 1, to finally saying, I sing God’s praises, for he has been good to me.

We’ve found peace again. We trusted him. The living waters have flowed in. The pain melts away. And it’s replaced by "shalom shalom" the peace of Jesus Christ.

God has been good to me, we declare. And the story of the hurt and healing, becomes part of our testimony. A story of redemption.

Review of Main Points:

1. Waiting in suffering is the challenge
2. In suffering God will sometimes hide his face
3. Wrestling in our thoughts can lead toward the truth
4. Sometimes the enemy we face is ourselves
5. Turn to God, and ask Him to create a path forward
6. Trust leads to the living waters of healing
7. The story of the struggle becomes our testimony

Healing from Past Struggles: Let God take You on a Healing Journey

Ina is a famous Eurasian brown bear who lives in Romania. In 2021 a viral video of Ina lit the internet on fire with many sympathetic of Ina’s struggle.

Ina was held for more than twenty years in a very small cage at a Romanian government operated zoo. The room was so tiny she could only walk in a small circle, brushing up against the metal bars of the cage.

For twenty years Ina was held in captivity, until finally after receiving many complaints, the zoo released Ina to the care of the non-profit animal sanctuary “Millions of Friends” in Zarnesti, Romania.

The video that astonished the world showed Ina the bear freed from her captivity, at the animal sanctuary 7 years later, but still walking in the same circle she walked for twenty years at the zoo.

Trauma is real, abuse is real, and pain is real. And sometimes those pains and traumas that we’ve been through can cause us to get caught in patterns that are harmful.

For Ina the bear, she became trapped in her past traumas and patterns, and they held her captive, in an invisible cage, that no one could see but her, long after the physical cage had been taken away. (Thankfully after 7 years of this behavior, Ina slowly stopped pacing in the circle after being freed)

What traumas and pains have you been through, and how have they shaped who you are today?

Are there patterns you find yourself caught in, things you do but you don’t understand why? Maybe it’s simply pain, a heart shut down, a sense of disconnection from the world around you, a hardness, that you’d like to be free from.

Maybe you know the wound, you’ve carried it for many years, and you long for God to heal the wound and take the pain away, but no healing has come.

Perhaps you’re sitting there thinking, I don’t have any trauma. I’m happy, I’m well adjusted, my heart overflows with love.

If so, that’s wonderful. But don’t underestimate the possibility that there is trauma that God wants to heal in you.

And I know for a fact that every single person on planet Earth has been through a trauma recently. In the last five years in fact. That trauma is the worldwide pandemic known as Covid-19. How do I know it’s left us traumatized? Because the world doesn’t want to talk about it, many pretend like it never happened.

So we understand today that we need healing. And it’s a good thing that we serve a healing God, our savior Jesus Christ, one of his names is the great physician.

As it says in mark 2:17 NKJV “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

Now it is true that Jesus Christ did not come primarily to deal with our pains and traumas, he came to deal with our sins. And his death on the cross secured us forgiveness for those sins. Yet the word repeatedly speaks of healing. So we know Jesus came to heal us as well.

We’ve all been through a traumatic experience. We lost a loved one. Experienced a divorce. Lost a job. Witnessed or experienced abuse. We all know these experiences. But what happens after?

The aftermath of difficulties in our lives can be extended. They can manifest in racing thoughts, depression, anxiety, fear, lack of confidence, and crippling emotional states.

But they can also manifest as changes in our personality itself, and these changes can be very long lasting, they come to define who we are as a person.

Often times we slowly heal over time, as we pray and seek the Lord, but, sometimes when the hurts are deeper, God will take on something I’ve learned to understand as a “healing journey.”

Throughout this new series titled “the healing journey” we’re going to walk through different stages of how God heals us, we will look at how Jesus walks alongside us, and guides by the Holy Spirit toward different forms of contemplation, reflection, processing, deliverance, rock bottoms, and new heights, all different steps along the pathway to renewal.

I’ll tell you that this topic is very near and dear to my heart. I’ve been through many deep traumas in my life, from childhood abuse, to the divorce of my parents when I was 16, to abuse I experienced in my early twenties, to years of depression and anxiety, to many bad decisions I made that compounded and made worse the trauma I had already experienced, to the point that I was walking through life with so many mental and spiritual wounds that I could barely function.

Then, I encountered Jesus Christ, and he changed my life forever. I fundamentally went from broken to healed. I was born again, a new person. And that was the great turning point in my healing journey.

However, even after having come to Christ, I still found myself with so many wounds on my heart. Though Jesus had forgiven my sins and made me a new person, he did not instantly remove all the hurts and pains I’d gone through.

I did many things to attempt to gain healing in those early years of first becoming a Christian in 2012, but my attempts only yielded mixed results. I took many secular approaches to healing, and don’t get me wrong, many of these techniques are helpful. I utilized the twelve steps, I went to secular counselors, EMDR, journaling, workbooks, reading self help books, Christian books, and so on and so forth.

I put in a lot of work to find healing, more than most would, I read dozens of books, worked through several workbooks, attended groups multiple times a week, and healing came, but it was incomplete.

Maybe some of you can relate today, you’ve attempted different methods to experience healing, but all of it seemed to come up just short, and you find yourself feeling like your heart has holes in it, and you’ve accepted it as inevitable.

I felt that way, for years I had attempted healing, but I’d come up short, and there I found myself in my 3rd year of being a minister, realizing, I’m carrying wounds that are making it hard for me to succeed in what I’m doing. These wounds are holding me back from becoming all God has called me to be. But I had tried every method I knew of, and my heart was still badly wounded.

We start with this simple phrase: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."

That’s the first line of Psalm 23, our foundation scripture for today.

The first point for today is this: Make the Lord your shepherd, in the healing process, and you will not want for healing. He will provide it. But, we must let go of the reins, and allow God to lead this process.

We often say God you’re in charge, then we grab the reins and take over again. That won’t work. We really have to continually look to Him. And we can.

So this first message today is the entry point. We’re getting our supplies ready. We’ve getting our backpack, shoes, canteen, sleeping bag, and we’re getting ready for a long journey. We’re packing, and beginning to look toward the road ahead.

The first hurdle to face today is this: Maybe you think you don’t need healing. Maybe it’s true. But maybe we’re so used to it, that we don’t see it. So if you’re someone sitting there today thinking I don’t need any healing, I want you to consider the possibility that maybe you do. And then ask God to reveal if that is the case.

Don’t let pride get in the way of something that could change your life. I don’t know about the rest of you, but as for me and my house, we will seek the Lord for healing. Will you join us?

Like I said, the first point is to let God be the shepherd. 

Next verse 2, “He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.”

The Hebrew there for quiet waters, can be translated ‘waters of rest.’

Second point today, the healing journey is going to be an experience of rest for many of you.

When we’ve been through numerous traumas in our lives, we can end up a state of near constant high engagement of our adrenal gland, called fight or flight. It’s also called adrenaline syndrome or acute stress response.

Our body when it senses a dangerous situation, or a tense argument, our bodies begin to push adrenaline into our brain, for the God-given purpose of giving us strength to either fight or flee the situation we’re in. It’s a good thing.

But the problem is, when we’ve experienced long periods of intensity or trauma, we can get caught in fight or flight, where we are constantly in a state of adrenaline hyperarousal. Many are caught in that state long term, and over time it exhausts us, leaving us always fatigued.

God is offering us rest. This is a gift. But it is also a challenge. Rest is a gift. But it also means we have to slow ourselves down, and get out of fight or flight. Otherwise we won’t be able to experience healing.

David wrote this psalm as king, looking back on his life, and how God had provided safe places for him. The green pasture David writes about is our safe place.

We don’t need to be scrambling about like mad men and women, for God is our green pasture, our safe place.

Though I worry some of us, if we were to paint a picture of what it feels like inside our heads, it’s more like a dark stormy plain, than a warm sunny pasture. This series is going to help you heal, to turn that dark stormy place in your heart, to a green pasture of the presence of God.

Let’s pray for rest, and a safe place. (Take a few moments to pray)

Next, verse 3: “He restores my soul”

Ultimately, the goal here is verse 3, to bring portions of our soul before God, and invite Him to restore those areas.

Pray right now and ask God, which area of my soul do you want to restore Lord? And then wait, it may come as an image in your mind or a memory, or a thought. Once you’ve received from God that thing, I want you to pray, and invite God to begin to heal that part of your heart.

Friends I believe God has big plans for His church. Really big plans. But the journey ahead of us will be challenging, there will be many ups and downs. So God is bringing us through this healing series, yes because he loves us and wants us to be at peace, but just as much, he’s getting us ready. We won’t be able to win the battles ahead if we’re covered in past wounds. But if we find healing, we will be ready.

Second part of verse 3, “He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.”

Healing is not a one and done thing. It’s a journey. In my healing journey, which has really turned a corner in the last year, God has brought me to things from my childhood, to bitterness from my first posting in ministry, to bullying during high school, to things from a recent dispute I had with a mentor, to the loss of loved ones, and to forgiveness I needed to offer to those who had hurt me. Step by step, along the road.

If Jesus brings something to mind again and again, don’t ignore it. Follow where he points.

Notice how it says, “He guides me.” I don’t guide Him. He shows me where to look for healing, and I don’t second guess what he’s saying. If he points to an incident I feel I’ve already dealt with, I need to open it up again. Because Jesus is never wrong.

Next, verse 4: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil...”

After a traumatic event takes place, many times what we do is stuff it. It’s a very unhealthy practice, but it’s something I did as a kid. I would stuff it. Ignore it, hide it away, and pretend it didn’t happen.

Here is the hardest thing to understand about healing, and experiencing healing in the Lord:

There is no way around the pain. We can’t ignore it. We can’t hide from it. We can’t pretend it doesn’t bother us.

Part of healing is going back to the original memory, and accessing the emotions attached to the memory. The emotions flow out, often in the form of tears, or anger, or sorrow or regret. And we feel those emotions. And we process them. One of the greatest ways to tell that healing is happening, is because tears are flowing. And it may take time, days, weeks, even months of processing.

So if the process begins, simply embrace it. And you’ll find yourself reframing the events in a new way. You’ll begin to go from anger or sorrow at the loss of your mom, to thanking God for her life, and being grateful for the years you had, and having a desire to honor her memory. The purging of the emotions brings a new way of seeing the outcome, from a higher level, a level God brings you to.

Part of this series will be walking through the valley of the shadow of death. We will walk you to the pain, and through the pain. There’s no way around, the only way is straight through.

But remember also what it says: We will fear no evil. There is nothing to fear here. God is walking us through. So no evil can touch us. 

Prayer: Lord, please grant us courage as we face these sorrows from our past. Help us to walk through the sorrow. Bring us to the emotions. Help us not to give up until we're all the way through.  In Jesus name, amen. 

Second part of verse 4: “for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

This is the center point of Psalm 23, the simple statement: "You are with me."

God’s presence is the very centerpiece of the healing journey. If we can cultivate times of experiencing God’s presence, we will experience His healing touch.

At the prayer meeting this Thursday, Chelsey, Ilienne and I were praying. Normally we simply do intercession, praying for family, schools, police and firefighters, and so on. But this time, we simply spent time seeking God’s face. And after a few minutes, God showed up, and we were in tears.

That is something every one of us can experience, by spending time with God in prayer, not making endless requests, but by seeking His face, His presence, and quietly waiting upon Him for extended periods. If you want to learn to do this, please attend our prayer meeting, it’s amazing what God is doing.

Prayer: Lord, help me in my prayer times, to simply seek your Face, to incline my heart toward you, to turn my heart toward yours, help me to cultivate quiet times Father, deep quiet times, to seek your presence, in Jesus name, amen. 

Second portion, of this scripture, your rod and staff comfort me.

There is a great deal of comfort that comes through all this. A comforting from God as we go on this journey. God is one who comforts the hurting. He sees your pain and he is with you in it.

He provides both a rod of correction to us in this, and a staff of protection. He won’t bring too many memories at the same time, he protects the healing process, keeping it at the right pace. He also corrects, if I’m trying to ignore something, God will correct me, bring it out and gently ask me to deal with it.

Next, verse 5: "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil;”

This sort of tender hospitality from the Lord, a table prepared before us with all sorts of choice foods, drink and delights, the anointing of the head with oil, shows us the abundant mercies of God in the healing process.

And we are able to say, “My cup overflows.” I am abundantly blessed.

So many times, I’ve walked through the pain with God. I’ve shed the tears. I’ve written down the memories in my journal. I’ve gone into prayer and sought God’s face. God brought such memories, such emotions to the surface. And then I prayed and asked God to heal the heart wound he had just exposed. I would lift up my heart to God, and place it in the hands of Jesus, and he would heal it. And then a few days later, I wake up realizing I feel so much lighter. My heart wound is healed. And I have a new peace, when each day used to be so much anxiety and fear. And I’m able to declare, “My cup overflows.”

Prayer: Lord, bring the overflow in my life. Bring the healing touch. Lord I lift my heart up to you. I put my heart into your hands Lord Jesus, I release my heart into your hands. I ask you to heal it completely. I receive my heart back from you Jesus, healed, in Jesus name, amen. 

Verse 6 says, “Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life…”

So even after the pains of the past have been healed, and I’m walking in shalom, I’m able to know that even into the future, God will be with me.

And as new difficulties occur, he will guide me into healing again and again and again. I won’t be carrying around the past anymore. I’ll be battle ready. God’s goodness will guide me.

Lastly, verse 6b: “And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Though this verse speaks of heaven, of being in the New Jerusalem, what I want you to notice here, is that the house of the Lord is like the temple.

And there are three parts of the temple, the outer court, the holy place, and the most holy place. And I’ve found in my journey with God, as we develop our relationship, it’s like slowly walking, in intimacy, from the outer court, to the holy place, and into the most holy place. This occurs in our heart, because we are God’s temple now.

Through this healing process, if we seek the Lord and find healing, our hearts will be healed. And our healed hearts will be much more able to love God and love others, because the broken places will be repaired. And our relationship with God, now spurred on by the healing, will prosper, and we will have the opportunity, to dwell in the house of the Lord within our hearts, the most holy place unfettered by past hurts and traumas.

Prayer: Lord, let us always view our lives as a steady journey of walking from the outer court, to the holy place, and into the most holy place. Guide us to always be on a journey to seek you more and more deeply, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.