Lifestyle of Peace | Christian Living & Discipleship

Monday, September 19, 2016

Dead Churches, Visions of Glory, and Apologetics Blogs

The older generation, oi vey, they just don't get it do they? They act like we're on some sort of pleasure cruise to heaven. I really can't understand it myself. These churches will be dead in ten, twenty, thirty, or fourty years. Many are dead today. Why? There is no effort to reach out. There is little effort to reach the young, millennials. It's really quite concerning to me. It's of the gravest concern.

There was a dream that William Booth had. He was standing on a platform with many others. And the platform stood atop a raging sea. The people on the platform were working out, holding potlucks, playing music instruments, conducting business transactions, and other activities. In the water were hundreds of people floating in the murky waters, on the raging sea, dying. Only a few on the edges were tossing out life preservers to those in the water. And he was astonished, desperately concerned for those in the waters, and disturbed by the indifference of those on the platform who seemed to pay no concern to the ones in the water.

Ellen White the founder of the SDA church had a dream of working with others picking berries from ripe bushes. And she saw that only a few were gathering from the ripe bushes. While the rest did many other things, stood around talking, ate fine meals with one another, and paid no attention. She rushed to the bushes picking from them, noticing many fell over-ripe from the branches. And she was astonished.

K.P. Yohannan, before his fall from grace, had a vision of a great harvest. And there were no workers in the great wheat fields. He tried to cross into the field, but a river was blocking his path. Then a bridge appeared before him and he crossed it. And he was astonished.

Does anyone care? Are we concerned for those around us dying everyday? Are we fighting to reach the lost with the gospel? It's important to look to the future. And it ain't looking good. Yet there is reason for great hope as well.

The church is divided. There seem to be great variations regarding level of engagement. Sold out on one end, barely interested on the other. Many at various points in between. One could say much the same for political engagement. It's the true believers that change the world. It's the genuine Christians who change the world.

I think many churches have missed young people, especially those between 18 and 35.

When someone feels that something has been missed, by the media, by the church, or by the political world, the natural response is to try and raise awareness. Through the internet we have that ability.

There are hundreds of Christian apologetics blogs that cropped up over the past 10 years, because the church simply doesn't talk about apologetics enough. And young people are enthusiastic about it.

In politics, anti-establishment movements, socialist Bernie Sanders, conservative Ted Cruz gained grassroots support through social media, everyday people trying to close the gap of the mainstream media and news. I try to do the same through social media, to compensate the lack of coverage of key issues in popular media.

In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. -Ecclesiastes 8:14b

I was wondering to myself.. why do I feel so upset in this world? Well, I figured it out. God put a scripture before me about Lot in Sodom & Gomorrah. From 2nd Peter 2:7-8 "that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard."

It is downright tormenting to witness those around us, dressed the way they are, living the way they are, alcohol, drugs, selfishness, pornography, pre-marital sex, Christianity openly mocked in the media, the television, the rated R movies full of violence and sex, it's a constant bombardment everyday, and everyday more news comes in of shooting, corruption, and hostility toward religious freedom. It's a difficult thing to be a Christian in a nation that has turned from God. It really is tough.

Yet I continue to believe we have great reasons to be hopeful. People are beginning to wake up. The internet has provided a solid foundation for grassroots to Christianity to take off. We get to bypass the megachurches, the money takers on television, and talk straight with one another, from small churches all over the country. It's a great opportunity. It's creating a movement, an awakening of knowledge and wisdom within evangelicalism. We're connecting with one another, and reconnecting with our theological past. We're sharing quotes, books, ideas, and theology all over the place on social media. It's really awesome.

Bottom line is, if we see division, corruption, false converts, and true believers mixed together in the church, then we're seeing exactly what the Bible tells us. Jesus taught in his parables that God the Father is allowing the wheat and the weeds to grow together. The wheat are the true believers, the weeds the false converts. We shouldn't be surprised by these divisions. We shouldn't be surprised when it seems like half the congregation is disengaged and the other half is on fire. That is normal. In fact in Paul's letters in the NT we see time and again that the churches then dealt with the most severe problems. Many of those churches dealt with issues like sexual immorality, false doctrine, divisions, and lack of oneness. In addition, in Revelation when Jesus Christ speaks to the seven ancient churches he points out serious concerns within all of them. So we shouldn't be surprised.

We shouldn't be surprised. But we should be active. We have to be careful to not drift away from the truth. We have to be grounded in the truth, over the long term. Are we part of Spirit filled churches? Are we carrying the message into our community?

I've learned that if I'm the only one carrying the message into the community, so be it. Then I'll do it alone! If I'm one of many, then all the better. Either way, keep carrying the message. And fight the sins that entangle us. We aren't on a pleasure cruise to heaven, we're on a battleship fighting to keep the souls of man out of hell.

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Sunday, September 11, 2016

Living in a Mad World: The Entire Spectrum of Life & Jesus

I woke up this morning, and God was good. When I lay down to sleep, God will be good. And when I wake up again tomorrow, God will be so good. God remains holy, true, and good. He never changes.

The Lord Jesus has really changed my life. It's been several years now. It's amazing to look back and see how God has gathered the pieces of my broken life and formed it into something new. It's simply astounding. It's quite interesting. Addiction had me by the throat, it really did. It's amazing how dead I used to be. I really was dead to the core, living in a state of perpetual frustration and irritating dissatisfaction.

Nothing ever worked in my life. Whether it was a job, or an idea or a relationship or a friendship, it always melted like sand in my hands. That can be particularly devastating over a period of years, don't you think?

We young folks have been through a real hell. Especially in the last twenty or so years. We've been screwed over from every direction imaginable, mainly from our deadbeat parents and grandparents who screwed up the world, spent away the future, and now attempt to con us into their doomed false worldview.

Plus they charge us 1000% of what they paid for college (it's true) to teach us their half-baked hippie worldview that sucks, and is clearly systemically contradictory. Many of us, myself included we're caught by that con, the college con: That we needed this degree, and we did, but we didn't realize they'd jacked up the price. When my parents graduated college they had a few thousand of debt that they paid off in a few years. No one told me it wasn't normal that I would end up with over $25,000 of debt that will take me 10+ years to pay off. Many are much worse off though, with a hundred thousand dollar degrees in philosophy or feminism, and they're working as chefs or at the local coffee shop. "Should I leave room for cream?"

That's just one example of how we young people face an uphill battle. Another is drug addiction. Many, many young people I talk to about addiction tell me they got started by going to the doctor, receiving pain pills, and they got hooked on them. Meth and heroin, on the rise as well. Children fed ritalin and amphetamines for being too excitable. Moral foundations of the society, rescinding quickly. And the public education system, well, it's a disaster area. The churches, the hope and salvation of a society, seemingly half asleep, manned by people who don't seem to really believe what they preach. And everyone is trying to sell you something, usually junk, made poorly that will fall apart in a year or two. Thousands of advertisements. The televisions in every living room screaming at us day and night. It's pretty crazy. I often think it's amazing anyone makes it out without being totally mind raped and soul savaged to utter decimation. But the odds have always been against us haven't they?

The moral arc of the universe bends toward tyranny. It's true. Time and again the world comes to the brink. Think of Hitler, think of Stalin's genocide. Think of the Napoleonic wars. Think of the global economy today. Time and again the universe seems to conspire toward evil, in massive ways, World Wars, genocidal regimes, world poverty, diseases, and of course the tyranny of the experts, mounting trillion dollar debt and political correctness today.

We're in our bubble in America, with our rose colored glasses on. But the snow-globe is starting to crack along the edges. We're starting to notice that false reality dripping through the cracks. We're starting to look up and see the truth about life. We're seeing that God is real; and we're on an eternal path, not a temporal one.

We live in a world of meth, lies, feel the bern, hurricane Hermine, Hillary's emails, child sacrifice, radical Islamic terrorism, political correctness, your a racist, your a sexist, everyone is a bigot, cops murdered, socialism on college campuses, Nigel Farage brexit, Donald Trumpism, heart disease, diabetes, new technologies, medical advancements, punctuated equilibrium, Alinsky radicals, conservative Constitutionalists, missing emails, NSA mass surveillance, evangelism outlawed in Russia, and the persecuted church crumbling in the middle east. Just to name a few things! And we thought we knew it all, didn't we? Fascinating, quite interesting. It's interesting what one discovers one does not know.

I was once a secular blue liberal, 100% sure I was right and they were the devil. But when it came down to it... I had no idea why I was a liberal. Because... save the whales? I don't know. Because save the environment? Because of that one Disney cartoon with the miniature guy trying to save the rain forest? Maybe it was because my 4th grade elementary school teacher told me Democrats were better than Republicans. And secular because, well, I was raised Catholic and it seemed really dumb and fake. And exceedingly boring! We all heard about those priests molesting boys on the news too.

Yet despite all the politics, struggles, persecutions, abortions, pedophilia, social justice warriors, and dead movie stars, God almighty remains in charge of the universe. God remains sovereign. Steven Crowder a political satirist commented recently that when he goes to pray at night he thinks of people like Amy Schumer and thinks Lord... really?

Free will you see. God set rules like that, free will, the ability for humans to make free decisions. It was a dangerous decision don't you think? Maybe so! One can criticize a pretty sunset but how can they criticize the eyes they see it with? Never the less, here we are making our choices, then blaming God when things go south.

I watch things roll on day by day in this world, in the media world, in the computer inter-webs, the news, and think to myself; this is really mad isn't it? It truly is quite mad, not to mention exceedingly exciting.

Sometimes I can't sleep at night. I set the word of God playing, and listen as my mind flies through the memories and thoughts of the past few weeks. And life is simply astounding. At times it can be quite mundane, dull, and hopeless. But other times it's really quite beautiful and amazing. This is the human condition, front and center. This is the spiritual struggle of man kind, everyday, playing out before us.

Me and you, well, we're just a little blip on the radar. Billions have come before us, lived and died, watching just the same demented theater play itself out. And they've wondered. And they've believed in Jesus. Many have, many haven't.

It's really quite astounding given the stakes. Everything is at stake, everyday. Every action we take, every thought we think is considered accountable before the creator of life, the universe, and the human race. That's a reality many will fight tooth and nail to escape, dreaming up false worldviews aplenty.

I know that mentally, I know every action I take is being measured. I'm fully aware of it. But my goodness, when that sin is before my eyes and offering it's fleeting pleasure I find myself defeated. I know that when I indulge in sin I put my very soul on the line. But at that moment I cannot muster the recognition necessary to resist. And time and again I find myself falling to a sin of the flesh. Astounding, and disheartening. But coming once again to the throne of grace, I find the grace that keeps me clean in this world. And I rise to fight the battle again tomorrow.

Despite the struggle, the temptations, the chaos in the world, God remains good. Amazing. God reaches out his hand all day long to an obstinate and despicable human race. And yet we being so obstinate and despicable, we are also deemed 100% worthy of God's trouble to redeem this human race; adopted, glorified, sanctified and placed into leadership as parts of his eternal kingdom. Amazing!

Jesus Christ is Lord. He is God come to save us. I'm amazed by His character and His mission. I'm astounded by the accounts of his life in the gospels. It changes everything. I'm most mystified by His present ministry in the world. The amazing thing is that He is presently active and at work in the world. His Spirit rides from coast to coast you see, like Gandalf the White riding upon Shadowfax in a mad rush to unite the kingdoms of Middle Earth against the invading armies of Mordor.

The full spectrum is covered in the Christian worldview. It's all there. It goes all the way from nasty, awful people like Amy Schumer all the way to Jesus Christ the perfect, sinless, holy son of God. And in between is the human race, and the angels, the demons, the entirety of human good and evil, from Mother Teresa to Adolf Hitler.

It's a crazy ride. It's a crazy rollercoaster ride on this planet. The black death, feudal lords, ancient kingdoms, Roman conquests to cable television, electrical engineering, sanitizing dish soap, open heart surgery, and nuclear warheads air-burst over population centers. It's a wild ride. It's real. It's scary. It's fun. It's joyous. It's serene. It's nutty. It's stranger than fiction. One person breaths smoke and molests children, another loves the poor, serves the lost, and gives their life to the service of Jesus. The craziest part maybe is that it could be the same person who once molested children and smoked 3 packs a day that later in life serves the poor and follows Jesus with a whole redeemed heart.

I must say the truth as a human imageo dei, made in the image of God yet exposed to the inverse effects of the fall man, the tendency to self-deify, self-interest, and self-exalt inevitably cause this effect: It is truly very hard to see Jesus. It's a reality one has to fight for on a daily basis.

But in walking that path everyday it makes more sense to me. It's like coming slowly out of utter darkness. At first the cross is the faintest light on the horizon. Day by day, step by step that faint light grows brighter. And eventually you can make out the cross shape, just barely. Day by day, month by month and year by year the cross grows in light; grows closer. Eventually one can see the savior there nailed to the rough boards, blood pouring from His open side. One can make out the look on His face as he cries out in sorrow "Father forgive them they don't know what they're doing" as God the Father turns his presence away. And I realize that Jesus is there on the cross, pouring out his blood for me. I realize he has walked into the court room of my endless bad deeds, all the women I've hurt, all the broken relationships, all the sins that I've committed across my whole life, and Jesus looks at the judge and says, "Let this man go free, I will take the punishment for his sins." Justice must be done, and Jesus takes the penalty for me. Not only that, but upon dying for me, He resurrects from the dead and gives me His very Spirit, grafting it onto my broken soul, to transform me into His likeness over time. And Jesus becomes my best friend, the one who will walk beside me all the days of my life, and lead me home to a perfected eternal reality where I will reign with him in glory forever. I don't have to die anymore, or fail anymore, or fall to the schemes of the world anymore, Jesus gives me life. He gives us life.

"We are saved from the lawful penalty of sin (justification) are being saved from the power of sin in our present lives (sanctification) and will be saved from the judgment and presence of sin in the life to come (glorification)" -Julie Ann Barnhill

Through all of this we are more than conquerors through Him who has loved us. Despite all the madness of the world, and the terrible people who mock us and our faith. Despite the wars, the Hitlers, and even the new technologies and the fine delicacies of life Jesus Christ is exalted throughout human history. The truth of Christianity may be hard to see, due to the lies we've believed and the false worldviews roaming about destroying the world, but the truth is, our Christian faith is the only worldview that adequately explains life, death, morality, human worth, consciousness, nuclear bombs, mass genocides, love, heroes, and charitable endeavors. Jesus covers the entire spectrum of life. He is the truth come to us. He lives, and He reigns. There are only two options for us and no middle ground: We can be one of his enemies or one of his heroes.

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Friday, September 9, 2016

How has God blessed you in the Last Year?

I always think of this time of year as the beginning of the year. Probably because this is when school starts again, and summer is ending. So I’d like to share with you the blessings I’ve experienced over the past year. What’s amazing is that Jesus not only removed my sins and gave me eternal life, he’s not done with me yet! He’s actively at work in my life, our living savior.

So over the past year, wow. Just wow. Let me tell you, when I first began the moving process from Wausau to Escanaba I was terrified. I was petrified. I thought my goodness how am I going to do this. How can I handle all the challenges that will be ahead? It’s much too much for me.

I have these issues in my life, depression, anxiety, sleep problems, recovery from addiction, and lots of fear. This is just too much. And I’ll be leaving all my friends behind in Wausau. All my friends at Wausau corps. All the people I love and my family.

But what happened as I moved here and as I started working was this: God made possible what had been impossible. My part was to step out in faith and believe He would go before me. God has blessed me in so many ways.

I used to be the worst of the worst. Believe me! One account in the scriptures relates specifically to my past struggles. And his whole world changed when he encountered the Son of God.

The word of God says: "They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you impure spirit!”" -Mark 5:1-8 (NIV)

Madness! He wandered about graveyards and tombs, and catacombs. The truth is, that was me. I was the lost, hopeless man wandering the tombs. Self destructive.

God’s blessing to me first and foremost is that he took a hopeless drug addict, someone caught in so many snares and webs, someone wrapped up in so much sin it seemed impossible to escape, someone who’s body was crippled, someone whose soul was darkened, someone who had lost all hope for a brighter future, at the age of 27, and God took him, me, and put a Bible in his hands, and put a song in his heart, and the Gospel of John before him, and then in darkness, near death, this hopeless junkie fell on his knees near the fire place at his mom’s old house, and cried out from the depths of his soul, a literal verbal cry desperately flying to Jesus Christ the son of God for salvation, mercy, and freedom from destruction.

Jesus heard the call and answered it completely. The ground shook where I knelt, I’d been afraid to share that part for years because I thought people would think I was crazy, but I don’t care, the ground underneath me shook and I was terrified. The cry went out, and oh how the heavens must’ve rejoiced at that moment, a sustained shout of joy of every angel in heaven, as this awful sinner fled to Christ and found total redemption in the blood of the lamb.

It’s true, it’s real, Jesus Christ still saves sinners, even today. He saved me. The light shined in the darkness of my deathly parade. Shining all the brighter to today.

Since I’ve come to Escanaba I’ve grown and matured a lot, into a man of God. One year ago, the greatest blessing is when I first walked in those doors. And I was so scared. I didn’t know if you were all a bunch of jerks. But Major Ralph encouraged you to shake my hand and welcome me. And you could’ve snubbed me. But you didn’t. You welcomed me, warmly. Incredibly warmly. I got about 20 hand shakes that day, and the warmest welcomes.

And from that day until now, I’ve had the strangest feeling. Like when I came to Escanaba, to this church, that I’d come home to a family I’d never known. I felt like I’d come home to people I already knew. You were already family, that I hadn’t seen in a long time. That was the first blessing.

Next, there was Major Ralph. He took me under his wing. He’s taught me so much. He’s been a leader that I can look up to. What Major Ralph has taught me is how to work hard. It sounds simple, but it’s very profound. He’s taught me to work, and to work, and to keep working and to never give up. And I appreciate his example.

Next, there was Bev. A few months into my move, I needed surgery. She came to the hospital with me. And sat there with me. And encouraged me. She was like a mother to me, when I was afraid.

Another blessing was through my friend Rick. He was one of the first people who came in asking me about Jesus, 1 year ago. He said he felt he wanted to step up and join a church. And he started coming here, started volunteering at the kitchen, coming to Bible study, and today he’s a vital part of this family. That’s a real blessing.

Another blessing was Stanley. He’s helped with so many random projects. And got me involved at Bishop Noa. He’s one of the few people in my life who were willing to help out in just about any situation. Most times with people you can expect the answer to almost always be “no” when you ask them for help or to step up, and with Stanley, it’s “yes.” It gave me confidence that I could lead & people would follow.

Another blessing was working with boys club and vacation bible school and finding a passion for working with kids.

So many blessings. Yet I’ve also been so tired at times, and so sick at times since I’ve been here. Yet that also turned out to be a blessing. God gave me a message, a theme verse for this time in Escanaba.

It goes like this: "Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:30-31

I didn’t realize it at first but God was telling me that I would have to wait on him for the next few years. God was saying that I would be weak, tired, and weary, and that I would stumble and fall. But that I would also hope in Him. And that eventually my strength would be renewed. And I would soar like the eagles. And run and not be tired.

Sometimes in life we have to wait and wait and continue waiting. And hope in the Lord, when we aren’t where we’d like to be, when we’re single, we don’t have many friends, we’re tired everyday, overweight, we’re depressed, we’re anxious. And we have to wait on the Lord. And keep a steadfast daily hope in Him.

God has taught me to rely on Him. He’s built up my spiritual muscles, the maturity of my soul, and my ability to persevere through difficulties. He’s taught me so much over the past year… to make pasties, to wax floors, to count kettles, to hand out food, to work long hours, to lead bible studies, to do home visits, to visit nursing homes, to counsel those who struggle, to pray the hurting, to stand up for what I believe in, to carry his gospel, and to serve His people.

God has blessed me over the past year. I’ve grown so much. Now I’m wondering about you. How has God blessed you in the past year? Take some time and write out a list of the ways you've seen God work in your life in the last year. And post that list on your fridge or somewhere in your home, or at work. We must always remind ourselves how God has blessed us and how he has worked in our lives. When we recognize our blessings we recognize God's sovereign presence in our lives. We acknowledge his greatness when we look back to the blessings, and we invite God to work in the future. God is great. His blessings are many.

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Sunday, September 4, 2016

Overcoming through Suffering in Ministry and the Salvation Army

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. -2 Corinthians 4:8-10 ESV

I’d like to begin with the example of Richard Wurmbrand. His is a famous struggle against true evil. He was born in Armenia in 1909. He was a minister in Romania during the spread of communism across the globe. Communism swept through Russia, and into Romania, which was controlled by the Soviet union. Richard Wurmbrand watched as communists took over the churches in his country and begin using those churches to spread communism. He instead preached against communism, and preached the true gospel of Jesus Christ, which the communists despised.

For this Richard Wurmbrand was imprisoned. He had to be isolated in solitary confinement because every time they put him in with the general population he would preach the gospel to the other prisoners. They offered to release him many times if he would just reject Christ and become a good communist atheist. He refused.

They tortured him to discover the names and locations of the secret underground churches in Romania. In 14 years he gave no names. His imprisonment separated him from his wife and his son. He was left in solitary confinement for a total of 14 years. He never gave up.

Have you been through struggles? Have you been through suffering? Has it made you question your faith? Has it made you wonder if God is really good? Asked the question: If God really loves me why would he let me go through this?

Pastor Wurmbrand recalled in his book “Tortured for Christ” how he had to sit in a straight upright position and listen to the propaganda on the loud speaker “communism is good, communism is good, Christianity is stupid, Christianity is stupid, No one believes it anymore.” On and on and on. And he recalls a time when the walls of the cell seemed to shine like diamonds, and he knew Christ was there with him and he didn’t even know he was in jail anymore, he was so close with Christ.

Pastor Wurmbrand said that he could see no colors, only the gray of the walls and the gray of the jail uniform. He could not see sky, nor sun, nor moon, nor stars, he could see nothing. He forgot that such things existed over the years of time. He saw no women, no children. He heard nothing, for the cells themselves were sound proof. He lived underground, in this jail, harassed and beaten and abused, and left alone, fed perhaps a piece of bread a week. He heard silence.

And one day he prayed to the Lord saying, Lord I have no one, I can see no one, I do not have your word even Lord, I am in silence, I have nothing, I have become nothing, so would you speak to me Lord and talk with me?

And he heard God say in an audible voice a single question: “What is your name?” He didn’t know how to answer. He wasn’t Richard anymore. He wasn’t simply a Christian or a pastor. He paused & replied, “Jesus, I have no name. Allow me to bear your name.” He said that Paul understood this when he wrote, “Not I live, not the old Paul, not the new Paul. The “I” has been abolished. “Not I live, but Christ lives in me.“

What is your name?

What makes us think God owes us a perfect existence? Our suffering is guaranteed. We can expect it. We must endure it. And remember that we are nothing, and Christ is everything.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, and the life I live now in the body, I live for the son of God who loves me and gave himself for me.”

I’d like to share about a few experiences in my life where I’ve experienced the grace of God, which enabled me to overcome through suffering.

Let me preface by saying I’ve rarely had the opportunity to suffer for Christ. But I have seen times when God has gotten me through the dark times.

The first one I recall is when I was in jail about 10 years ago. I spent over two weeks in jail detoxing from drugs, shaking, sweating, hallucinating, weeping, unsure of what reality was, in a state of intense confusion. I was having nightmares every night. I was so scared. All I had was a Bible. I wasn’t saved at this point in my life. But I clung to that Bible. I read it day and night. I hugged it to my chest, because I was so scared.

But Christ was there in the darkness. Let me tell you, some might say all those years of drug addiction, jails, institutions, probation, family chaos, and isolation were meaningless. But they weren’t meaningless to me. Because God was giving me exactly what I needed, to crush my ego, to crush my pride, to burn away all the “self” and “selfishness” of my life, so he could replace my me centered life, with a Christ centered life. Sometimes God allows suffering to teach us not to sin and to free us from pride and ego.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. -1 Peter 5:10 ESV

A second example is when I was newly clean and sober, and when I had just called out to Jesus Christ. I had called out to Him. Jesus was at work in my heart and life. But there was foot work in front of me to do. If I had just called out to Jesus and done nothing, I would be dead today.

Christ does the inner transformation, he does the miracle, we do the daily footwork. So the first thing I did was I found a church in my area and started going to it every week. I started attending 12 step groups, tons of them, I went to 5-8 meetings a week. I filled myself with that message of recovery. I had a Bible my grandpa gave to me as a gift, and I started reading it everyday. Every night I got on my knees, very low before my Lord and worshiped Him and spoke to him from the heart. I kept doing it, week by week, month by month, even when I really didn’t want to.

I was suffering through those times, quite a bit. I was very depressed. I was very anxious, and broken, and disturbed. I was a mess, overall. But I fought through the darkness, believing that God would lead me through all of it. I brought all the sorrow to God in prayer. Through the suffering he molded me into a new growing Christ follower.

Third example, 2 years later I started working at the Salvation Army homeless shelter. I got hired there. And I knew it was of God.

I was a bit naïve at this point in my walk with God. I thought that perhaps this would be a break through of blessings. And it was, just not in the way I expected. On my first night I had to work the weekend alone, because there was a staff shortage and they were in the process of hiring new people. The 36 bed homeless shelter was packed to the brim, and they all knew I was the new guy. And they decided to see how far they could push me.

On that first night, a young man came to the office complaining of severe chest pains, and I had to call an ambulance for him. Not a few minutes later the fire alarm started going off. Someone had burnt a pizza, no big deal. Around 9pm that night several residents ran to the office and told me Paul and Mike were fighting. And I ran into the commons area and had to get between them. I led Mike back to the office and realized he was roaring drunk. So I gave him a breathalyzer, and told him to leave. I called Paul to the office and I realized he was drunk too. So I kicked him out as well. They were very angry. And I was feeling a bit threatened. A resident told me most of them out there were drunk, and they having a little party at the expense of the new guy. So I brought the breathalyzer out there and lined up all the residents, and gave each of them a breathalyzer. I kicked out a total of five people that night. After I’d completed that process, I came to back to discover that Paul and Mike had snuck back and were slamming beers in the bathroom together. Mike snuck off, but Paul refused to leave, a large man about 2 inches taller than me. He insisted I find him a place to stay. I brought him back to the office, and had to call the police when he started becoming angry, and threatening to kill himself.

I still think of that first day as my baptism by fire into the Salvation Army. Over that long year of struggles, I experienced many things. I had to call the police to come pick up a young girl with blacked eyes who was very drunk and facing a lot of jail time. I met a man in his fourties who had been a drug dealer and gun runner, a monster, who had come to Jesus Christ, and was putting his life together, and was a minister in training at the SDA church in town, later he was found in a coma in our bathroom, and died days later. I did case managing for troubled souls. I led alcohol and drug recovery groups. I had the chance to share the gospel with dozens of people. God was preparing me, through suffering, for a mission ahead. And boy was I surprised.

When we suffer in life, it can cause us to become disillusioned, and to question God. But maybe we don’t understand as well as he does. Maybe we can't see it from his perspective. And as we go through struggles everyday, we maybe don’t realize that on the other side of the planet, Christians face the possibility of death and imprisonment.

All suffering in our lives should lead is in one direction, to God. To Christ. In all these situations I fled to Christ. It forced me into His arms time and again. And each time I fled to Christ and wept in his arms, I knew more and more, it wasn’t really about me. More and more I would realize, I am nothing, Christ is everything. Christ is all. All to his glory, my wants and desires are nothing, His will be done.