A Lifestyle of Peace

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Five Powerful Speeches on the USA that Touched my Heart

As I've always said, Youtube is a wonderful free market of video content. You can find anything from funny cat videos to inspiring sermons and everything in between. I know in the past we've centered in on apologetics many a-time from the likes of Ravi Zacharias, Frank Turek, William Lane Craig, and many others. We've dabbled into the antics of men like Eric Metaxas and Stephen Meyer as they rebuff the redoubts of modern intellectual subculture. But today I'd like to offer up five powerful speeches that really hit me hard, in light of the United States and the future of the nation. These are some great leaders, and great minds, with messages that we desperately need in the USA today. Enjoy.

1. Dr. Ben Carson at the National Prayer Breakfast

2. Eric Metaxas at Liberty University

3. Ben Stein at Liberty University

4. Dr. Ron Paul to Congress "What if.."

5. Judge Andrew Napolitano - What ever happened to the Constitution?

Related Posts:

Christians in Politics: A Brief Analysis of Issues in the USA

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Reflections on the Salvation Army Regeneration Conference 2015

Psalm 39:7 But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

Ministry is exhausting work. Truly truly it is. Sometimes you just need a break. Burn out is high. People are tough. More often than not, I need a little regeneration.

February 13th-15th I visited Camp Lake, WI to attend a Salvation Army Youth Leaders conference. The experience was so profound for me, that I thought I would catalog the experience and some reflections regarding it.

Eventually as I worked at the Salvation Army of Wausau TLC I begin to realize, maybe the Salvation Army is where I belong. I know that I'm called to full time ministry. It's something you just know internally. But where might it be? I'd often thought of being a traveling evangelist like Billy Graham. Or a valiant Christian apologist like Ravi Zacharias, defending the faith in university forums. I'd considered starting a church, and preaching regularly, like John Piper or Francis Chan. Or even missionary work in India or China, like K.P Yohannan. But it's tough to know. The truth is.. How do I really know? I mean like.. really know that I'm called to officership?

I'd sat down with my DYS and discussed the possibility. She suggested I attend Regen. So there I was. Terrified. Excited. Amazed. Sometimes you just stare across a crowded room and wonder "What in the world have I gotten myself into?" But I recall the words of a great thinker who said "If you aren't a little scared, the goal isn't big enough."

Large groups of people had always scared me. From junior high on, it had always been tough. Let's just be real, I'm an introvert. And that's not a bad thing. I love being an introvert. I love reading, writing, blogging, and spending quiet nights listening to music with my dog and cats. I had often wondered though, how can I make ministry and introversion jive? Hard to say. I had to find a way to lead with quiet power and humility.

They called it "Camp Wonderland." Now I immediately thought of Michael Jackson when I heard the name, but I'm not sure why. Wonderland? Regeneration? Move mountains? What's going on here? Culture shock. DHQ? DYS? CFOT? Huh?

I never really knew what the Salvation Army was growing up. My dad worked in a Salvation Army building in my hometown. I remember playing basketball in the local SA gym. I saw the logos. But I didn't know it was a church. I thought they just provided social services. It's funny though, when you aren't a Christian you tend to see everything through secular lenses.

After Jesus Christ saved my life two years and three months ago, I knew I was being called to ministry. But ministry where? I attended a good evangelical church. I led Bible study, volunteered in various ministries, and began attending a religious college called Liberty University. I started a blog. I worked on a church plant. But I found myself seeking a truly radical dedication to love and service. That led to entering the Salvation Army through employment at a local Transitional Living Center. I found the work extremely challenging at first, to the point that I nearly quit. But eventually the struggle began to the grow on me. The struggle to fight poverty, destitution, and addiction was so real and valuable. I began attending Salvation Army church services and eventually started leading a Young Adult bible study. The challenges ahead were very real, and fear often crept into my mind, wondering.. "Just how can I maintain in this kind of demanding environment?" So many nights, head on my pillow, I would whisper up to the Lord "This isn't sustainable, and I don't have the strength required." My eyes would tear up a bit, and then I would fall asleep.

It's no wonder that after 11 months at the shelter, Regeneration was a needed blessing. We drove down in a minivan provided by the corps, myself, and three others. I joked that God had a cruel sense of humor, because I had always vowed to never drive a minivan. "I'm a man."

It was February 13th. I'd been running like a mad man about town trying to get things done, and I was tired and cranky. My bosses son Marc was along with, sitting next to me. He was the son of two SA career officers in Central. He'd had his issues in the past, just like me. Two girls came along, Danielle and Miranda, local nerds. Also volunteers at Captain Martin's camp in East Troy.

When we arrived I felt somewhat terrified. After all, how many times have I felt out of place in large groups? More times than I can count! Junior high, high school, basketball practice, football practice, at Bible studies even. Oddly enough, I found myself feeling strangely "a part of" as we walked into the dining hall. Oh my goodness, look at all these people I thought.

Now I try to play it cool, but I grew up a rural kid in Wausau, Wisconsin. I'm sure "gawking" would be a good word to describe the look on my face. Who are all these people? They're all Salvationists? Christians? That's a very excellent thing. But could they really practice what they preach? Do they? That was a common question on my mind. There is so much apostasy in America. I wonder from the start with every Christian, do they really do it, or are they just talkers and not walkers?

I was sitting there, watching people, as introverts often do, when I met the first of several new friends I would make. Her name was Rachael and she had previously worked as a model. Now she was a Young adult leader in the Salvation Army. Fascinating. We talked for a while. I was doing my best to keep a low profile. It's best to just watch and listen at first. Then Captain Martin found me. He came over with the SA gas card I was suppose to get from him. He started laughing and joking with everyone at the table about a show called Breaking Bad. Then he insisted that there was a password I was suppose to tell him before he could give me the card. I told him there is no password, you're making that up. Then he said, well, actually I can give you a hint but you have to sing it, it's a theme song from a 90s sitcom. I sang the theme song for Friends, and thankfully he gave me the card. Then we all went to the first session at the chapel.

I found myself oddly pleased when the first speaker said he was an introvert. Oh good. Someone I can relate to. He put me at ease instantly. I thought I should perhaps have a cup of coffee with him sometime. Couldn't tell you his name though. He looked like a hipster, nerdy indie rocker. I never knew Salvationists were such hipsters. I saw so many hipster beards at Regeneration, it was like a grateful dead reunion concert. IE: Citizens and Saints.

DJ Opdiggy was awesome. Amena Brown quoting John 1? Incredible, shocking, powerful. Sometimes you just have to spin, right? I've seen good and bad youth/young adult events, this was very good. Citizens and Saints. Well, they're indie rockers from Seattle. That's definitely a huge plus. However, given the mass defections of Christian rock bands in the recent past (Jars of Clay, As I lay Dying, George Perdikis - formerly of News Boys, etc) I tend to be skeptical at first of Christian rock musicians. But for the most part, it seemed that Citizens and Saints led worship in a manner that directed attention to the worship of God. At times in the past I'd felt the worship team was receiving worship, instead of directing it. I think we can all imagine a worship leader we know who seems just a bit too flamboyant. I know I can. But Citizens and Saints were great. Reminded me of Christian rock with a dash of Helio Sequence, Postal Service, and Passion Pit. Impressive!

Bob Goff, need I say more? He's just completely crazy and out there in the most beautiful and authentic way. Reminds me of Francis Chan, except more wild. Bob Goff was truly inspiring at the first session. I loved it. He fueled a lot of the regeneration I was feeling at the conference. He encouraged the young adults of Salvation Army to take a chance. He encouraged the young adults to step out, terrified, to do something special for Christ. Such a deeply needed message. I need encouragement everyday, to step out and take chances. When I'm encouraged to take chances, then I do. Otherwise I tend to shy back. Bob provoked a reckless abandon in me, an allegiance to do anything for Christ. It's always been there, but like any character trait, it needs cultivation.

In the past I've bashed the way Christians seem to have constant "conferences" and "seminars" but don't seem to be as active in the community as they should be. The Salvation Army is active in the community while most other denominations are not. That was a major draw for me to the army.

Back at the dining hall there was a crazy rap dance party thing going on. I sat along the sides and watched, smiling. I wondered if dancing like that was a sin or not. I was raised Catholic after all. That's not Polka dancing. But there doesn't seem to be anything inherently wrong about it either... confusing. Maybe I work from a presupposition that anything fun must be sinful? Hard to say. But I was tired.

Marc and I walked back to the cabin, in the below zero weather, freezing, but encouraged. Well, at least I was. Marc seemed to struggle through the conference. I didn't know what was up with him, but I tried to focus on staying positive and learning what I could.

On Saturday things seemed to come together. It was brutally cold on the wind swept campus at Camp Lake, but at least the sun was shining.

I woke up from dreams, half asleep in the rustic woods of southern Wisconsin. No one snored that night. No one at all. Obviously this was a Christian camp.

Bob Goff stole the show again at the morning session. I sat down, and listened and learned. Quietly as I sat in the crowd of hundreds on Valentines Day I wondered if I would marry someone in the room. Officership was starting to feel more and more likely. So many prayers. So many discussions with family and friends. Is this the way I wondered... it could be. I wish God would be a bit more clear though.

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
Psalm 25:5

I had to look out upon the people at the conference and simply admire them. These are the young adults who hold out the hand of hope to thousands every year. It's such a thankless job. It's so difficult sometimes. Heart to God, hand to man. Such a rare thing in the modern era of selfishness and self-serving. If they got any attention at all, any recognition it was probably for being weirdo religious people. But who else walks the walk? A lot of people have a lot of talk when it comes to world issues. Whose got some walk? It's the Salvation Army. Youth leaders, young adult leaders. Truly people of character, renown. Unsung heroes. Or so the picture seemed in my mind. Being a part of a family like that seemed quite appealing.

I got in front of the camera and told my story with a guy named Andrew. He gave me a hug after we were done. I was beginning to feel like the Salvation Army was exactly where I belonged. But I needed that final word. Later that day I sat down with Major Tricia to discuss my possible future in the Salvation Army. She talked with me for nearly an hour, and then we prayed together that God would bring everything together in just the right way.

At the evening session I got the word. There were chalk boards in various corners of the room. And they told us to "move" in the direction of our dreams. Move, even if we're afraid. A different area of growth was written on all of the chalk boards in the various corners of the room. I was afraid, sure. But I got up and moved to the chalkboard that said "Officership." There I got together with a group of people all moving in the direction of officership. Some officers prayed with us, and encouraged us in taking the next steps toward Officership. The feeling that came over me at those moments was powerful. I could feel the Spirit moving in the room. I could feel the peace coming over my heart, that this is where I belonged. It was powerful. I hadn't felt anything quite so peaceful and warm as being exactly where I was suppose to be at that moment, in the care of God and following the leading of his Spirit.

The rest of the conference was wonderful. Jo Saxton had a strong evangelism message that rung true with my heart. Overall, it was great. I left knowing where I belonged. I had found my home. The Salvation Army was the place to be, to serve Christ in the firmest dedication. I wanted a life of not simply caring for a congregation, or preaching sermons, but a life of true, radical dedication to Jesus Christ. And so I found it. As William Booth said, "We are not sent to minister to a congregation and be content if we keep things going. We are sent to make war and to stop short of nothing but the subjugation of the world to the sway of the Lord Jesus.”

Mark 10:44-45 (ESV) ⁴⁴and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. ⁴⁵For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matthew 25:31-40 (NIV)
³¹“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³²All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
³⁴“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
³⁷“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
⁴⁰“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

What is the meaning of Life?

"In an uncertain world, here is certainty; in a world without foundations, here is a rock-solid foundation" - Douglas J. Moo, The NIV Application Commentary: Romans

What is the meaning of life? Ah, the age old question. So many have asked the question, and so many have attempted to provide an answer. This question must come up in the mind of man during his toilings on the planet Earth. Of course it does. We look up into the sky, across the wind swept horizon and ask: "Why? Why am I here? What is the purpose in all this? What is the ultimate end of life?"

I wondered, what do the great minds of the world consider to be the meaning of life? I did a quick Google search for quotes from the great minds of history regarding the meaning of life. On a list from Goodreads.com are quotes on the meaning of life ordered with the most "liked" quotes at the top. I had to laugh as I scrolled through the quotes.

The first and most "liked" quote is very revealing, regarding what the internet, and the intellectual prefer to believe about meaning:

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
― Albert Camus

The second quote in the list is equally revealing:

“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.”
― Joseph Campbell

These two "great thinkers" insist that you must not even ask what the meaning of life is. Albert Camus seems to suggest happiness is the meaning of life. For Joseph Campbell, you are the meaning! You make the meaning. I've heard that many times before. That humans infuse their own meaning into any given situation. Now why would that be the case? It seems somewhat contradictory. In addition, there is no rational there. And that is something I simply cannot accept, that truth is simply my personal preference. Sounds more like a selfish western view, very individualistic and conceited. So the question remains, even when post-modernists shock us with the conclusion that "you shouldn't even ask."

Another writer that I've read, named Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn) said, "Life has to be given a meaning because of the obvious fact that it has no meaning.” Given the debauched, erotic lifestyle of Henry Miller, the fact that his books are banned in many countries for their depravity might lead to the conclusion that Henry Miller himself may have a personal stake in a necessary lack of meaning.

Included on the first page of results for quotes on the meaning of life were three different quotes from Christopher Hitchens, a renowned atheist who died of complications from alcoholism at a relatively young age. A quote is also included from Frederick Nietzsche, a man who fought God his entire life and eventually succumbed to inner madness later in his life. Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, Philip K. Dick, Stephen King.. fascinating... That we look to fiction writers to describe meaning in life.

We can pretend life has no meaning, perhaps to fight for a clear conscience, but that is never quite satisfactory. We know internally that there is something more. We know it. There is a deep desire within man to understand the purpose of all things. It is an indescribable sense of meaning. We know deep down that truth is not subjective, but objective. We know deep down there are fixed truths.

I don't buy it when someone tells me not to search for something. I don't believe it when someone tells me that "absolutely" all truth is relative. It cannot be. Those around me cannot cancel my journey. I have taken it. Life is not a vacant search for pleasure. Life is not a merry go round of self service. Those ideas are at the roots of the problems of this world, not the solutions.

Now at the next level, perhaps up a floor, we have those who say we must look within. That's a very appealing suggestion on the surface. Look within for the truth, as they say, trust your heart! Follow where your heart leads. Yes, I've been down that road as well. It didn't work out particularly well. My heart was interested in.. pleasure. My heart was interested in say, a penultimate happiness. Or a constant state of satisfaction. Unfortunately there was no way to arrive at such a place. There was no perfect romantic relationship, or perfect concoction of prescription medications that could fill the void in my soul. There was no perfect job. There was no toy, car, house, or award that could keep me satisfied. Ultimately there was always the hazy morning after, and a vacant feeling of loneliness, guilty, and emptiness. And again the next day, after the hang over subsided, the neurotic search for eternal pleasure would begin again. A great thinker once said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Now one could approach the meaning of life in a sort of circumspection breaking down the variables and painting a four dimensional tapestry of man kind in space-time. One could examine the various angles, and counter the necessary punches to reach a conclusion where-in spiritual thought is placed at the height of the terrain. But I'm not going to do that today.

One doesn't necessarily take that route when confounded with reality. In my travels and discussions in small town America I've found that people just don't give it that amount of time and thought. We just kind of move forward haphazardly, at the heights of pride, thinking we know something about something. We really don't know much. We've made up a lot of big words and a lot of people have studied long enough to be considered "experts" and they henceforth issue decrees from the heights of intellectual imbecility to the dismal masses below, to describe the state of things as they see it. And people tend to accept that. Yet we often grant authority and unwavering belief to anyone with a title, MD behind their name (aka Mdivinity) or a white lab coat on.

For me, after being prescribed medications by family practice doctors for years, I began to realize finally, that they really had little idea what they were doing. Just kind of groping in the dark, burying mistakes and playing with brain chemicals. After that realization... that my doctor is not divine in his/her decisions, I began to realize that the same was probably true for molecular biologists, nuclear physicists, Oprah Winfrey, Deepok Chopra, and my dentist. Or as many have indicated: People will believe anything as long as the phrase begins with "new study shows" or "scientists have discovered."

My point in all this is that one must be capable of breaking free from the post-modernist nonsense to even approach the meaning of life. One must also be able and willing to break out of materialism as well. We come with many, many preconceptions whether we realize it or not. In the past I might've argued from a preconceived desire for there to be no God. Or from a scientism view of reality. Or from a desire to defend a depraved lifestyle.

Now even further, one must then step out of the New Age as well. Admittedly, this is a large umbrella. But it is perhaps best summed up in the idea of spiritually "making it up as you go along." I used to read the book of a woman named Doreen Virtue. She was a new age writer, and her books were certainly an interesting read. But it eventually dawned on me as I reading her books... shes just making this stuff up as she goes along. I had reached the point where I realized a spiritual answer was logical. I was looking for answers. I read a great deal about horoscopes, the zodiac signs, tarot cards, Chinese spiritual beliefs, dream interpretation, lucid dreaming, and other sort of "spiritualish" ideas. Pick what you like, leave the rest, right? That's certainly entertaining, but hardly an honest approach to truth and meaning.

Of course as these things were going on, the reading and the spiritual journey and all that, life was happening too. There were problems in my life. There were pains. Addictions were starting to gather. Stress and depression were becoming issues. Relationships were not being well maintained. It was becoming more and more clear that I could not function well on my own two feet, making it up as I went along.

In life I've found that there is nothing like pain and suffering to refine the parameters of a search. I was forced to ask my questions more honestly than in the past.

It was around that time when the sorrow mounted, that I began to study a Bible and carry it around with me. I read it for fun. I liked the stories, especially in Genesis.

Did I think the Bible contained the meaning of life? I don't know really. Maybe. Probably not. I was more concerned with being entertained. I never truly realized until looking back, just what an arrogant, entitled little snot I was.

I was dumb, didn't even understand basic logic. And I had been educated in one of the best school districts in the United States. The D.C. Everest district. I recall several families who had moved to the area for just that reason. In fact I met some kids whose parents had bought a house for them in the area just so they could attend the district. Guess what we did at that house? Public school though, is still public school. Reminds me of one of the lines from Malcom Muggeridge I believe, who said that man has educated himself into imbecility at his own academic institutions. In addition, I had started my college studies at one of the most well respected college systems in the United States: the university of Wisconsin system. Didn't really matter.

Western civilization has really taken on the philosophies and ideologies of Marx, Freud, and Darwin. They aren't too functional in my humble view. But that's a whole new topic. The point is we have to remember what has worked empirically in western civilization: Judeo-Christian principles.

So yes, with a devestating sigh, we come to it. Christianity. The Bible! No, not that old thing! Truly truly, I can understand that reaction to the Bible. It was the last thing I wanted to be true. It seemed like a book of nonsense fairy tales to me. But my best research had been reading a novel called "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown. I hadn't actually read any research, or done any serious investigation. Yet I found I didn't really have to. That could come later. The issue was that my life was falling apart. I needed not just an answer to the question, I needed a functional solution. I needed a cure to my malady. I malady I didn't even fully understand that I had. The age old "God-shaped" hole in the chest as they say.

In desperation, collapsed on the floor by the fireplace, I prayed a little pray, "God help me. Jesus save me!" And I kept repeating it. Louder and louder. And after that day, everything changed in my life. That was the irrefutable evidence that I had so sought after. Was it the answer I preferred? Definitely not. It was more like a worst case scenario as far as the answer went. Oh no, please no, anything but the Bible, anything but that Christian stuff. Because I despised that Christian stuff. I really did. I hated it. I wanted it to go away and stop telling me what to do. It seemed so stupid. Yet now.. here I am, a follower of Jesus Christ. In my own unique way. I go to a church. But not a dumb church full of hypocrites. I go to a church full of sick people who are trying to get well through the power of Christ. I go to a church with people who really want to get out there and do something real for Jesus. Not just some token effort, but a full force mission of Christ.

I'm sorry to leave you there friends. I really am. But it's the truth. I discovered that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. Just like he said. Before that I was a Liberal, New Ager, Agnostic, civil rights, free sexual, pot head, hippie, cigarette smoking tripper free spirit. And now I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, outspoken, organic-eating, Libertarian indie rocker, occupier, anti-Gmo, truth teller, activist, free spirit, set free by God himself. I still held onto a lot of my beliefs and ideas, yet my life was also fundamentally transformed by the indwelling presence of God himself. God-sized hole = filled. Not bad, not bad. I still listen to Sonic Youth and the Helio Sequence and complain about things being too mainstream and decry corporate and government corruption, yet with even more power and effect, given the indwelling Spirit. It's great actually. And I don't have to be addicted to drugs or alcohol anymore either. I don't have to smoke cigarettes anymore. I don't have to chase girls endlessly, hurting people and constantly ending in feelings of guilt. I still drink coffee and laugh loud with my friends. Yet it's transformed. It's better than it ever would've been. I've got real friends today, brothers. All thanks to Jesus. I'm asking you today to consider that possibility. Because let's just be real, it's mainstream to be a sex addicted, gamer, liberal, pothead, druggy, drinker hippie these days. Everyone is doing that. For me, it's indie to be a Christian, not like the weird church people, but a radical follower of Jesus, a total sold out on Jesus kind of guy, going anywhere and doing anything in service to my savior. It's awesome. And it's real. It's the real truth of life.

What is the meaning of life?

Answer: The meaning of life is to wake up on the Earth, and smell the roses, and see the fields and the snow drifts, the mountains the oceans, and the night skies, and to be touched deep down, by an awe in the power and complexity of life. The meaning of life is to live and make mistakes, until we realize that the problem of evil in the world, the troubles of the planet are not outside us, but within us. The meaning of life is to inquire, to seek out, and to read and study and learn and by doing, discover that a life as complex and harmonious as this requires a first cause architect. And in coupling those realities together, we see the need outside and the need within us for a savior who is not like us, a perfect savior: Jesus Christ, a God who does not just tell us how to live morally, but a God who comes down and walks the walk, shows us how to live, and then dies for us, to offer us reconciliation to himself. The meaning of life is to realize our need for God, and to be reconciled to God through Jesus Christ our own Savior. And to tell others. And to live that for the rest of our days in joy, awe, and trembling love.

Related Posts/Further Inquiry:

Saturday, March 7, 2015

You Oh Lord are my Strength: The Manifold Provision of the Architect of Reality

Psalm 16:1-2

¹Keep me safe, my God,
for in you I take refuge.

²I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”

Sometimes I ask myself, in the darkness, waiting to fall asleep.. "Am I really going to be able to do this?" You wonder if you have the strength required for the journey ahead. So much has been lost, yet so much has been gained. A Spirit is working in my life. Jesus Christ has come to me and saved me from the nightmares of the past. I've been welcomed into the family of God. At times it slips away, walking through the gym, talking to friends, driving to work, frown on the face. That sensation of the presence of God, so fleeting at times. Yet working always, even when I don't notice. The consciousness of my sinfulness, always building. It seems to grow and grow, as I progress forward in the journey. More and more do I become aware of hidden realities I had never noticed. Little gems of wisdom float in.

Life still happens, doesn't it? Surely it does. People talk. Rumors circulate. I have to face down life on life's terms. And try not to lash out at those who harm me. God taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Not only did he teach us that, but he lived that. As it has been said, when one person attacks another, they strike back, and the cycle of anger and violence begins to spiral. Even to nations, wars, one side attacks the other, the other side retaliates, and on and on it goes. But when Jesus Christ went to the cross, people hurled ridicule upon. They accused him. They mocked him. They brought up false chargers against him. They drove nails into his hands and feet. They spat upon him, and laughed at his claims to be "God." And what did Jesus do in response? Nothing. He became obedient to death itself. All of the sins of man kind were hurled upon him. He hurled nothing back. Sin stopped that day. He defeated sin. He conquered death. Not by fighting it, but by taking it upon himself. And inversely, from the cross flowed forgiveness, grace, love. From his side flowed rivers of blood and water.

And so I must do the same, as much as I am able. I feel weak. I haven't slept right in years. I'm afraid to go to the doctor, because I don't want to end up in that cycle again of always trying some new medication to manage an issue that seems perpetually unresolved. I struggle with depression. I struggle with immune system problems. And recently rumors have spread about me that are shocking.

Yet God remains good. I will manage. The victory of Christ at the cross, remains my victory. God loves me. And he also loves you.

I was thinking lately, about the burden of leadership. As many know I have begun a path toward officership in the Salvation Army. Central Territory, USA. I thought to myself, of the burden of leading a corps, of caring for a community, and of leading people, groups of women and men on the frontlines of the war on the gates of hell itself. And I thought... do I really want all that? Can I really handle all that? How about.. maybe, being a librarian instead. It seems very relaxing. Just sit there and read books and help people find books. Take a lot of naps.

I was at dinner with my mother, grandparents, and uncle after a long day at work. We were discussing the Salvation Army, and the ministry I've been pursuing. Our discussion turned to ISIS and their actions in the Middle East. I mentioned how the Salvation Army is active in over 100 countries. My uncle looked me in the eyes and asked, "If they needed you in one of those dangerous countries where Christians are killed, would you go?"

I searched my heart for a few moments, and replied with a sense of fear, "Yes I would."

Lately I've been reading a book about the history of the Salvation Army. It's been an excellent read, just finished it actually.

Henry Gariepy tells the story of Major Noh Young Soo in his book Christianity in Action. In 1950 communists invaded along the 38th parallel and took over Seoul, Korea. Salvation Army corps were operating there, and the communists were successful in capturing Major Noh Young Soo, an SA officer. They marched him through the streets, and then ordered him to renounce his Christian faith. Facing machine guns, he calmly refused, raising his Bible in one hand, and his Salvation Army song book in the other, replying, "Whether I live or die matters not, Christ lives!" As he knelt down to pray for his captors, they opened fire, and he became a martyr of the Salvation Army. Truly, a great honor to die for ones savior.

No one said ministry would be easy. I don't recall anyone saying that. But I was hoping it would be a bit more fun. It's been rather tough so far. I suppose working with people will be. Starting out is never easy. It's been two and a half years now. The journey has just begun.

The threat of addiction keeps me moving forward. One day at a time. That's the only way to live. I must live in today. Or as a man in recovery once said, "Everyday I was crucified between two thieves: yesterday and tomorrow." Alcoholism is scary. Addiction is scary. We see what it does to people, and no, it's not as simple as "stop doing it and walk away." For some heavy users and drinkers it may be that simple. But for many others who are truly addicted/alcoholic, the problem is not the drug, or the alcohol. The problem is internal. The problem is a spiritual one, it's simply a more obvious outgrowth of the problem of the wicked heart of man. Addiction is crazy, baffling, power. Thankfully it's an illness, and it's treatable, and there are many twelve step groups that can help addicts and alcoholics.

But it's a constant threat. It's a very subtle foe, addiction. It'll be dormant for years, and one day... it'll whisper in your ear: "How about just one.. for old time sake." My guard can't be up all the time. Thankfully God provides grace in those areas. And I trust him and his future grace, in dark situations. I'm eternally grateful that God gifted me with recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. It's been two year, four months, and four days. 854 days total. Things are so different now I can hardly fully describe it. So I need to remember that happiness in life is all about having an attitude of gratitude. And it's about staying in today.

Christ gives great joy during times of added affliction. Indeed Jesus said, "my peace be with you."

My throat hurts tonight. I learned that I have strep throat, and just started taking the anti-biotics. My nose is running, and I keep coughing. I just got a $450 bill for my dog Bruno's surgery. So expensive. It's tough to make ends meet, and as a friend reminded me, becoming an officer in the Salvation Army is a road of financial poverty. Haha. But I don't know. She was being sarcastic.

The addictive behavior seems to pop up in different areas of my life these days. Like spending, and over-eating, Facebook, internet, relationships, and other areas of my life as well. It's difficult. The tendency to go too far is common for us humans I think. All things in moderation.

All of these things are so heavy.. still Christ gives us such rest. Don't you think? So many paradoxes in a world where sin is rampant. Why? Because God is perfect. Imagine the difference, the tornado-like paradoxes that form when a perfect God and a sinful creation meet. On my own power, I can't navigate any of this.

I have a serious lack of power. When it comes to sin, addiction, temptation, the problem is lack of power.

But God says: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. -Zechariah 4:6b

The Bible is a description of the solution to the problem of sin, and the fall of man into so many blunders. The solution is Jesus Christ. And through Jesus Christ, the gift of the Holy Spirit.

We believers function by the power of the Holy Spirit. That is how we live, that is how we love, and that is how we overcome sin. A fellow believer emailed me recently and said that many Christians will be shocked when the floor falls out from under them and their own power, because they should have been connected to the power grid, the Holy Spirit. I thought, you know, that may be true. We as humans are prone to try to do things in our strength and ability, but those efforts are meaningless.

Instead, our efforts must be done within the mission and strategy of the Holy Spirit as he leads the battle lines against the hoards of evil flying from the gates of hell. So many Christians it seems, the ones you always here about in the media, are not building Christ's kingdom, they are instead building their own kingdoms, to their own glory. They build for their own standing and importance. "Buy my book", "give money to my ministry." So many of those massive mega ministries are nothing more than self glorifying money makers. They are very inclusive and self serving, with ever bigger buildings and fancier displays. They may even teach sound doctrine, yet their governance and spending patterns indicate a self glorifying ministry instead of a Holy Spirit-based universal ministry. Eventually you'll even see golden statues in their "name brand" Christian television programs or products. And then you know that they've gone full apostate, and erected a golden calf to replace the glorious, risen, blessed Jesus Christ our one and only savior.

Lord may we never fall into that trap, may we serve without reserve ALL your people, not just our friends. May we serve ALL your children, not just the ones who donate to our ministry. May we use the tithes we receive to YOUR GLORY, not the glory of our own name, or our prominence or notoriety as a "leader." May we glorify the Lord Jesus Christ in our actions, and may our ministries be a testament to the perfect morality, truth, and justice of the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, the blessed Heavenly Father.

God is so good to us. Let us be good to him in response, and bring glory to his wonderful name :) He gives so many gifts. He gives manifold blessings, a multipronged whirlwind of hope, peace and transformation to us, his chosen people.

God gives so many gifts to the regenerate believer. First Jesus Christ saves me from the just penalty for my many sins. Not only that, I'm given adoption into the family of God. I get to call the architect of the universe "Dad." Imagine it! Not only that, but I receive the gift of the Holy Spirit who changes me over time, and acts as a power in this world who leads me along the path of the will of God. He gives me happiness, joy, victory over sin. He gives protection, care, and affection from on high. That's pretty amazing. Did I mention honor and glory in heaven? And unspeakable riches in heaven? Not to mention, eternal life. Eternal connection to God and other believers. Gifts so wondrous the scriptures say: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Cor 2:9). So many wonderful gifts. How good is our God? He is mighty, and great, and wondrous, and powerful. He truly is the architect of the human soul and the lover of us, His children. So we also love him.

God seems to answer me, when I put together in writing my fears of failure, and my fears of not being strong enough for the road ahead. I say "I can't do it Lord." And God replies, "Not by your strength Justin, but by my Spirit." My Heavenly Dad confirms the call in my heart, and assures me in peace, that he will provide the power, the strength, and the Spirit for mountain the future. Mountains, be moved! And so I praise the Lord my heavenly Dad, for he is mighty and great, my strength and my shield!

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, architect of heaven and Earth. May we all sing out, Holy and full of grace and truth is our most perfect savior Jesus Christ. May all the heavenly beings sing out, Praise be to the blessed Lord Jesus Christ our savior forever and ever, amen. Praise be to God the Father, the blessed Father of all heaven and earth. We will praise you Lord, you are most worthy of praise, you are our redoubt, our strength in the shadow of this life, you are the one who saves us. You are mighty, perfect, holy, righteous, all glory be to you the one and only God our Father, the great I am who I am, Jehovah, Elohim, the designer of the human soul, the architect of space-time, the painter of the skies, and the first cause of the universe itself. Praise be to you once more, you are my God, in whom I will trust always, Amen.