A Lifestyle of Peace

Friday, March 11, 2016

What will the New Universe be like?

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:1-27

What if I told you everything around you, every chair, every building, every blade of grass was destined for destruction? I don't mean an esoteric diminutive destruction, I mean a simple wiping clean of a chalkboard, and the rewriting of physics, space, time, gravity, matter, and the laws which govern the universe.

Rewriting them in what way you ask? Ah, a very good question. The rewriting of such laws and material constructs in order to facilitate an environment of perfection; an environment, in essence set to standards that are in themselves, perfect. An environment set for perfection, for the housing of perfected beings, and for the interaction of the perfected beings with the originator of reality: the divine architect of all things; God.

What if I told you that the entire universe was destined for renewal, along with a renewal of the Earth we sit upon? It's true. If the whole of Christianity is true, the real version, set within the pages of the Bible, then this is most certainly the case. The present Earth, as it is, broken and troubled, along with the present disordered state of the universe are both destined for "fire." (2 Peter 3:7) For removal, for renewal.

The entire purpose of becoming a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, to be born again in his resurrection, is for the purpose of gathering a wayward species to a Supreme Being who created them. And for the purpose of this reconciliation is the new heaven and new earth, described as New Jerusalem in the NT.

The heavens, the universe, the vastness of space are a description of who God is. They describe God to us, today. When we look up into the sky during the day or during the night, we're getting a glimpse at the awe of God. But even further do we get a glimpse at the glory of God when we understand how large the universe is. It is mind boggling. We are further inspired by the glory of God when we view star clusters through the Hubble space telescope.

I wonder, what would a perfected universe look like? Theologically we understand that the universe is broken, fallen, along with Earth and ourselves. Might the distance between stars, galaxies and planets be closer? Might they be traversable? Then again, would there even be a universe in the same manner as this, in the perfected universe? It's hard to know. It's hidden from us today. But God's word says that none of us could possibly imagine what he has in store for us.

One thing is for certain: It won't be disappointing. Most things in my life have been a disappointment. Most things I've ever wanted did not live up to their hype or my desire. Even when they did, I was still disappointed because such things didn't make me happy. Life after death? That is something different. God doesn't disappoint. At least not in the area of redemption.

And what will this city be like? Think about this: When you read the measurements of the city, you realize that it's a giant cube.

Revelation 21:16 (NIV) says, "The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide. He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long."

That's pretty amazing isn't it? New Jerusalem is a giant cube. 12,000 stadia is about 1,500 miles. If you were to look at that on a map, it would be the length from Maine to Florida, across the whole eastern seaboard. Then take that length and fit it into a cube shape.

Do you know the first thing I think about when I think about the cube shaped New Jerusalem? I think of the Borg from Star Trek. Yes, I'm that nerdy. They are kind of like space zombies. "We are the Borg you will be assimilated resistance is futile." And they shoot nano-probes into your neck and you become Borg too. It's pretty scary. Anyway, I digress.

So we will live in this giant cube-shaped city. Are you freaked out yet? Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be great.

It's really quite hard to imagine what it will be like. We will most certainly have bodies, different from ours now, eternal bodies, but I dare say they will be material. But they won't disintegrate and wrinkle over time. We will have friends, and all people will be our family. We'll share all things. But we won't be married, male and female. But we will be in constant interaction with others, the family of redeemed humanity, under God, married to Christ and in joyous peace at all times.

We will most certainly be interacting with animals. That's something I look forward to greatly. I'm an animal lover. I've had many pets over my life, cats, dogs, gerbils, hamsters, ferrets, and other animals. It's great fun. Humanity was originally meant to tend animals, and interact with animals and be in relationship with animals. It'll be nice to get that back the way it ought to be.

Of course the primary centerpiece of this city will be intimacy with God. God's presence will no longer be shrouded. Right now at this moment we are shrouded from the full presence of God. We can't see God. We can't necessarily feel him or his presence. At times we may feel his presence and sense his Spirit in us, but other times are desolate and joyless.

In the New Jerusalem we will exist in the consistent, full presence of God almighty. That is the best part. Joy will be constant, and unending. Every moment will be filled to the brim with joy. These days joy can be as fleeting and elusive as happiness and meaning. We grasp out for them, but they aren't there. We seek them, yet we don't find them. We long for joy in our hearts, we long for happy days and peace, and we're filled to the brim instead with bitterness, disappointment, envy, strife, and all-consuming depressions. Evil multiples evil and we wonder if we can stand another day of this lonely, hopeless drudgery to a city we can only vaguely imagine in our minds. It is not easy. But we can do it.

Today people live for now. We aren't like that. We don't live for today. We don't live to gorge our various urges and desires. We live for a tomorrow. We live daily knowing our deeds are being measured and tracked. We live for others. We aren't like the world. We shouldn't live like them. We're being poured out for others, on a daily basis. That is our purpose now. And joy comes later. Joy also comes here and there now, but joy eternal is what we are waiting for later. The presence of God is shrouded from us today, but in the next life we will live in the fullness of his presence.

In those timeless days I imagine it will make a lot of sense. We won't even really consider the former times when life was so hard. We will simply be thankful that we were careful to obey his commands and love those around us. That is the hope for eternity. It is a real hope. It is based on a renewal of reality that will in fact take place. We know from the scriptures, the Holy Spirit, and the raw evidence that Jesus Christ is Lord, He is alive today in heaven, and that he is coming back to rule over the city of God.

We are destined to live in the city of God. Yet there are so many other factors that come into play. The great city, New Jerusalem, massive, huge, will come out of heaven and rest on the Earth. This city will have twelve gates, each gate representing one of the twelve apostles, with their names on them. They were made pillars for his kingdom, and they are honored in the coming city.

Revelation says a river will flow through the city, and on both sides of the river is growing the tree of Life. The tree of life if you remember is first discussed in Genesis, and Revelation ends with the tree of life. Jesus Christ himself is the river leading to the tree of life. He is the way, the truth, and the life. So this imagery indicates that Jesus Christ is this river we paddle down, to reach the eternal city, New Jerusalem, where at the center of the city, at the crossing of golden streets, we find the river of Christ flowing through this giant tree of life; the river leads us directly to it. And every month the tree of life produces a new fruit.

And interestingly enough the scriptures say these fruits are for "the healing of the nations." So it seems to indicate that the nations of the Earth will still exist, perhaps New Jerusalem will appear, rest upon the Holy Land, and the rest of the nations of the Earth, renewed in this new state of reality, will be healed through the tree of Life and it's fruit.

This is our destiny. This is our purpose. You may feel free to believe it, and believe it presently. For this is the reality that you live for. You are destined for eternity. Though I suppose in the new universe time has no meaning. Or perhaps it is a reality in which one traverses time in the same way God does. That's speculation of course.

From the scriptures we know that this whole redemption construct is precipitated by a time of great trouble. A time of great trouble is described, for Israel, and for the nations of the Earth. The influence of Satan is allowed to come to full fruition. It cusps in a great deal of violence between nations, and persecution of God's people. At some point during this chaos, Jesus Christ returns to establish his kingdom on Earth.

This next phase is called the millennial reign of Christ. Christ and 144,000 of his redeemed saints out of Israel rule on Earth and deal with the nations. Those who are dead remain dead until the end of this 1,000 year period which leads up to the final defeat of Satan. It's after this 1,000 year period and the battle which takes place afterward that finally heaven and Earth are renewed in glory, and the dead are raised by Christ for some to receive glory and other to be removed to outer darkness. Ultimately the new heavens and the new Earth are formed, and God's people join together in the eternal city, on a peaceful Earth, with variations and realities still unknown for peace in the full presence of God, the mysterious architect of all things, for all time, if time itself even exists!

I hope your looking forward to that friends. I know that I am. I'm looking forward to it because of the joy, and because of the mystery of it all. But here is something I think we sometimes lose sight of: This destiny we have for eternity in glory, is not the end of our journey; It's just the beginning. Remember that, because God I'm certain has greater things ahead for us than any we leave behind.

The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. -Revelation 3:12

Related Posts:

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Spheres of Truth in the World: the Bible, Science, & Politics

As a young man in a strange world I often wonder about life: Why am I here? What is this society? What does human history mean? What is the purpose of government? How does culture change? What philosophies undergird life?

Let's look at five key areas of truth in the world. No one ever taught me this stuff. I was never taught how various disciplines fit together. I had to teach myself through a lot of reading. I encourage the same for all of you; knowledge is power.

For young people like me, you've got to search out the truth, it will not be handed to you. In fact, it will be actively hidden from plain sight.

Let's look at interdisciplinary truth as it fits into a Christian worldview. And when I say Christian worldview really what I'm saying is the truth about what life really is. It's the eyeglasses that bring a blurry world into focus. We can see clearly only through it. But it's not projecting an illusion, it's bringing the world into focus.

1. Bible - The most important aspect in interrupting the delusion of materialism is found within the pages of the Bible. Here we find our manual to life. Many suggest: If only life came with a manual. The truth is shockingly clear: Life does come with a manual. It's found in the Bible. And really all "Bible" means is book. So in essence, the manual for life is "The Book." A description of reality defined by a God who identifies his name as "I am." A God who created the first man Adam, which means "Man." And the first woman, Eve, which means "woman." Fascinating isn't it? The titles provided are the categories themselves, Bible means book. God means "I am" or "I am who I am." The heavens mean the universe. On and on it goes, a base definition of the existence of reality. Do you know what Jesus Christ means? God our savior. Immanuel? God with us.

Within the Bible we find the description of reality as it really is. Every situation is described perfectly, the state of the universe, the state of the Earth, the state inside your heart and mine, all perfectly described as it actually is, instead of how we would prefer it to be. What a tough, tough "the book" to read though. No wonder so many toss it aside! Dare I say, that it tells me exactly who I am, without any filters or white lies! In fact it does just that. And it isn't pretty. The guide book is clear. The truth is tough. But ultimately the truth is what matters the most, find it in 'the book' about 'I am.'

2. Science - Science describes the universe around us. Despite what you may have heard, the greatest scientists have always been believers in God. Galileo Galilei, Isaac Newton, Francis Bacon, and John Kelvin just to name a few of the fathers of modern scientific disciplines. One might come upon the mistaken conclusion that science argues against religious faith. And one would be wrong in that assertion. But there are many in that field who so desire to erase God from western civilization. We must not let them.

There are two areas that I've found particularly intriguing, one is the study of the universe and it's beginning as basis for the necessity of a timeless omnipotent eternal being. There are many, many great books and video presentations on such topics. I suppose it all depends on how you like to learn. I myself prefer listening to audio or watching video of speakers. I've found audiobooks and Youtube to be a real blessing for such endeavors. But if you love reading a good book, well, shouldn't we all be so lucky? My goodness I could list off so many good books and speakers, but I'll just give a few of the best: Francis Collins, watch him speak, or read his book "The Language of God." Search for him on Youtube. Second, of course a personal favorite of mine Ravi Zacharias. And thirdly, the remarkable Dr. William Lane Craig. The last two were roommates in college, imagine that? I wonder what they talked about!

Secondly, the study of the cell. Scientists look into human cells, anatomy, physiology and they see harmonious complexity which points to... God. And I'll recommend a few more brilliant minds. Most notably we have Stephen Meyer of the Discovery Institute. Search for him on Youtube or purchase one of several of his books: Signature in the Cell or Darwin's Doubt. Secondly I'll recommend Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis. Thirdly, I'd recommend the great minds over at the Institute for Creation Research, most notably John D. Morris.

3. Politics - "We are told as followers of the savior, that we must check our faith at the door (into politics). Do you know why they are telling us this? Because the only people who will defend the traditions that America is based on are people who believe in God. Without those people our system must fail. They mean to keep the army of freedom off the battlefield, by telling us we don't have the right to show up. We not only have the right before God, we have the obligation." -Alan Keyes, Progress and Peril.

Government and politics are obviously extremely important. The reason we have the freedom to share the gospel is because Christians were good stewards of their nation; even and especially at it's founding.

Christianity has changed the world, especially in the area of government. But you will never, ever hear this truth in schools, universities or in the public square. You will never hear about it on television or in any popular media. When you really research it, my goodness is it astounding! Christianity preserved human history during the dark ages. Christianity transformed the ancient Roman empire. Christianity blunted the blades of barbarian tribes. Christianity established the first orphanages and hospitals. Christianity was a bulwark against the Muslim invasion of Europe. Christianity was the foundation of the greatest nation on Earth, the United States of America. Christianity today is streaking through Africa, changing the entire continent. Christianity today is flourishing in the hearts of the underground churches of China, inspiring the hearts of once oppressed peoples. Peoples now set free in heart and mind, in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Christianity has done more to invigorate and transform humanity than all the exhortations of Greek philosophers, grand designs of Freemason sages, and systematic designs of benevolent conquerors combined.

Today Christians in the United States are under prolonged, constant assault. The situation is quite bleak. Amazingly the forces that Reagan crushed during the Cold War, managed to survive in ideology, quietly sweep into academia, and seed themselves throughout our culture. Today they are finishing off a systematic toppling of every sector of our once prosperous nation. They've toppled morality, they've toppled the family, they've toppled free markets, they've toppled the Constitution, religious liberty, and now they are consolidating their victories. This is the secret history of western civilization state-side. You will never hear this story in the popular media, because the popular media has largely been seeded by these progressive socialists. But believe me when I say, you've been led astray. We can all tell something is wrong. Very wrong! I couldn't quite place it for so long. But eventually I discovered the truth. And it isn't pretty.

This is a great topic to get educated on. I'll recommend some books and speakers to discover. Alan Keyes is great, for one. The Truth Project dvd set is probably your best systematic source to learn the most. It will wow you. Another excellent dvd series is "How Should We Then Live?" by Dr. Francis Schaeffer. I would also recommend a documentary called "Agenda: Grinding America Down." Some great speakers that have captured my attention recently are these people, definitely Youtube them: Ben Shapiro, Ted Cruz, Mark Levin, Ben Carson, Dinesh D'Souza, Paul Joseph Watson, Dennis Prager, and Alan Sears.

Related Posts:

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Twilight in the Dark City: A Saga of Addiction interwoven with Spiritual Awakening

I've tried many a time, in these pages to describe what it was like in my previous life. Or in what you could call my life before the cross. I've failed every time. It is extremely difficult to document the mindset of that existence. The tendency is to ascribe a certain wicked debasement to the whole affair, and demean it to pieces. I don't want to dismiss that either, because that was a part of it: It was shallow. But I can't toss aside what was meaningful about it either.

Look back in your own mind: What was it like before you knew Jesus? There was at the very least, something poetically tragic about it.

There is something beautifully tragic about it today as well. I feel it really. The absence of the full presence of God. The agony at watching a world departed from God. What a horrible thing to see... one can hardly think of it fully without being overwhelmed with impenetrable agony. And a bit of hope.

I've often said that the reason I became a Christian is because I looked up too often. And I mean that literally. I looked up too often. I wondered. In fact I did so just recently, leaving the supermarket. It was night. And I was looking for my car, and I began walking toward it. And then I looked up to the street lights over the parking lot. Then I looked straight up into the sky. It was completely dark. I thought to myself.. my goodness. I'm some sort of being, a bipedal human entity, walking around on this globe flying through space... and then you glance down instinctively. Because I wouldn't want someone to notice my staring into the sky. I wouldn't want people to think I was one of those nutty people that look into the sky for extended periods. I wouldn't want to be mocked and ridiculed as a weirdo. But another part of me wants to cry out, because there is so much more than our little tunnel vision life.

There is so much more to life. I knew that even then. I just didn't know what it was. So far from being a depraved disease stricken junkie, I was in search of meaning in my life. Admittedly I was searching in all the wrong places. But I was searching.

I look back time and again to that mindset before the cross, and I can hardly comprehend it. And I wonder if people might think I were crazy if I tried to describe it as it actually was. But it was a momentous journey. It truly was.

Imagine this... Boards of Canada the Campfire Headphase set on repeat. And a star filled sky. The stars would burn particularly brightly. Because you were so lifted. There was something special happening. You knew it deep down. The darkness was darker, the brightness was brighter. Time, matter, air, space, and emotion seemed to join together. And there seemed to be a transcendent tune to the air, that filled it with meaning, and the presence of a supreme power guiding an orchestral rise and fall, through shadowed woods, and empty dark streets, dotted with glowing street lamps. Northern lights above, and ideas within the mind.

More so, it was Van Gogh's Wheatfield with Crows. It was Monet's Sunset over Venice. It was the northern lights at two in the morning on a snowy night, with balls of snowflake falling so gently you'd think you'd stepped into a dream. And yes... dreams... it's dreaming visions of lives you've never lived. It's dreaming pictures you've never seen. It's being a child again. It's seeing an alien spaceport. It's dark images that leave one terrified. It's seeing your breath in the air, and it's the smell of autumn. It's the crunch of leaves beneath your feet. It's walking, and wondering at the glory of the swaying trees. It's wishing you could step back into that dream for just a moment, to experience that feeling again. It's wishing you could live there forever, to be with someone in a place you no longer remember.

This was the twilight of my life. I knew it deep down. I knew I was dying. I knew I was going to lose everything. And it was true. It all happened just as I believed it would.

You struggle in reflection to make sense of what happened. Was I crazy? I wasn't crazy. But I was in a great deal of pain. I was reeling from chaos in my life on multiple levels. I was extremely isolated. And it provoked this journey within myself. It was an introspective nightmare of sorts. And much like Eric Metaxas recalls the dream of the golden fish in the omni-ocean of meta-consciousness, God stepped into my dream. He intersected me within my own confused postulations of what life really meant. He came into my world and rescued me from it.

There was another force at work within this journey. It was a force of darkness, and evil. It would show it's ugly face after a few days. The trips would be lovely, gorgeous flowery, smooth apparitions. Then after a few days it would get darker. It was like shadows would appear in the corners. Darkness would descend into the playful teletubby field and hungry morlocks would come up out of the ground and snatch up the frolicking bunnies. (Congratulations if you got the H.G. Wells Time Machine reference.)

One could certainly call it demonic. That's how it works after all. The beginning is all playful, and by the end your selling your soul. Just like a scanner darkly. Or trainspotting. And yes, just so precisely like requiem for a dream. Very dark. In just a few blinks of the eye a playful dance down a blurry street becomes a hardcore soul-selling nightmare on repeat.

I can illustrate it like this: Think of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, book or the movie. Each section of the movie indicates a certain phase of drug addiction. First, you have the happy, wild car ride the explosive, euphoric introduction. Then you step into the night club, it's a bit darker, but the colors are beautiful. Your pouring sweat, and seeing strange things, but it's quite fascinating. And so much more interesting than everyday life! Then the situation transitions, and the transition point is best represented by Dr. Gonzo in the bathtub. He's tripping, he's confused, and he wants to kill himself. Yet there is something light hearted and fun about it. Pretty soon it's like someone hung you up on a meat hook, the ugly morning after of the height of the journey. Melancholy and deep philosophical inspection ensue, encompassing Dr. Thompson's famed "wave speech." And later, there you go: Your at the cafe, you feel funny, still buzzed from the day before. Your right at the beginning, when an ominous feeling of future calamity is just hinting itself into the scene. You begin to feel a certain trepidation about the future. Or just about the moment.

Next is the phase of disphoria, the beginning of the trail moving from uphill to downhill. You start to realize your addicted. But you can't muster enough care to try to fight it. After all your still having a certain amount of fun. So you try to slow it down, and enjoy the calamity unfolding in slow motion. As Brandon Summers (The Helio Sequence) wrote: It was like a trainwreck in slow motion.

Following this is the phase when the memory itself begins to crack. Days fold into weeks, which fold into months and even years. The memory is befuddled, and time itself seems an abstract concept, far away, unnecessary. And that is when terrible, dark things are seen. The eyes can't unsee them. But any real drug addict will tell you that there is something uncharacteristically dark about it. It's become something entirely disturbing and ugly. But it's not just disturbing and ugly, there is a malevolent personality at work. A redness in the eyes, that lives within and works without. It's in you and it's a disturbance outside you. There is personality to darkness, and the most fitting descriptive word is "evil." There is something downright "evil" and excessive taking place. One can sense it in fullness. In fact many drug addicts I work with today, in my work in the Salvation Army have referred to methamphetamine as "demon." As a sort of slang term for it. They describe a particular evil at work within that scene. And I believe it too. There is something particularly wicked about meth, and what it does to people. My goodness, it stole my best friend from me. Terribly dark.

During those years of my life, set between the rampant trips and drug addicted tirades there was a spiritual journey beginning to unfold. Today I can look back and understand God was orchestrating the introduction of hope into my life. Back then I didn't really understand what was taking place.

But I wrote a lot. I wrote thousands of pages in fact. I wrote books. I wrote short stories. I wrote sagas which I weaved together from dreams I had over those years. I've always had particularly clear dreams. I've also always had particularly prescient dreams.

Picture this... you dream of being in jail. And you know that you've had premonitions before. For the next few weeks your terrified, and a building foreboding settles in over your life. And sixty days later your in jail. There is something awfully terrifying about that. But then again, maybe the entire situation was a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's what psychologists used to say to me. Justin, your creating your own nightmare. Your doing this to yourself. Maybe so friend, maybe so.

Dark images. And brokeness in relationships. Lost friendships. Mistreating others. Also a growing sense of impending calamity. Twenty five beautiful albums, playing one after another. Something dark is coming... yet seeing such beauty on night walks at three in the morning.. during such deep thoughts, that I would literally tear up. Because it was just so beautiful, the landscape, the quietness of the moment, the snow falling, the houses, and the stars above. Wow, awe.

The apprehension of beauty drove me forward in knowing, through and through that the naturalists and atheists were incorrect. It was a self-evident conclusion. The mysteries of life were too complex, too magnificent, and too expansive. Those ideologies paled in comparison with reality. Those ideologies failed flatly, objectively before my eyes to describe the world around me. They were empty, shallow ideologies that were philosophically bankrupt, so much so, any first year college student like myself ought be able to toss them out as patently false.

I began writing a story that would come to symbolize everything I was going through, in this desperate search for the truth. And it was a search on a rapidly depleting stop watch. Time was running out, and I knew it. My body was beginning to give way. I was becoming more and more sick.

The story told of a boy lost in a dark field, a sort of fable, a fantasy story with a bit of an Alice in Wonderland feel. The boy eventually finds himself in total darkness. In this darkness he suddenly notices a brown owl. He feels incensed to follow this creature, and he follows it through the dark brush until he finds himself in a golden, glowing forest. The owl represented my own search for truth, and the forest represented the spiritual journey I was beginning to take.

There was something beautiful happening. I was beginning to realize that spiritual affairs were not pointless, but that there was real substance there. I began searching.

It was kind of like Donnie Darko... coming to realize over the course of your journey that you've found yourself trapped in a tangent universe destined for destruction and the only way you can escape is to come to believe in God. It was also like being caught up in The Matrix... Hacking the matrix, trying to escape, and trying to make contact with Morpheus. It was like Dark City, searching for seal beach, but never finding it. It was like the Never Ending Story. It was like The Fountain, searching for the tree of life.

It was like a dark, dark nightmare. One in which an enemy has a plan for you, and a friend has a plan for you. Good vs. evil, wrong vs. right playing out in your life on a daily basis. What higher stakes could there be? What a greater journey to take? And so many other things. So many indescribably beautiful moments. Watching sunsets with friends... staring at the moon at parties at four AM. Climbing rocks at midnight under star-filled skies. Road trips! Snowy roads through endless white snow offset by an orange glow that would never seem to disappear through the whole night.

It was dying in a hotel room in Milwaukee, on too many drugs. Far, far too many. It was several suicide attempts. It was standing in a highway trying to get hit by a car. It was laying on the road in front of my house. And a car refused to come...

It was a different world. It was a different mindset. But more than that! It wasn't just a different mood or mindset, in fact I was an entirely different person. As I've said before, about this introspection, what is true is this: I was right about my prediction of impending death. I did die. I even knew the age: 27. I died in November of 2012. Just like I believed I would. The part I didn't know about was this: I was reborn.

And as my mother told me recently, with tears in her eyes: "It was like you were gone for a while. And now your back. You were always such a thoughtful child. You didn't run around and rough-house with the other boys. You were gentle and you wanted to know about everything. You had so many questions."

In fact she told me something interesting. At one point early on in the pregnancy, my pregnancy, the doctor told her to stop preparing for the child, because I would most certainly be a miscarriage. All the indications seemed like I would not survive. But I did. I was a C-section, crushed my head on the way out, and crushed my chest leaving a concave that made shirts vs. skins painful at basketball practice. But I survived. Left handed. Introspective. Then darkness came. Then I died. Then I was reborn, and reborn into the truth!

Isn't that interesting? God does have a sense of humor. But that doesn't quite fit. No, God is truly an extraordinary poet. He is a master of story and narrative. My goodness, so much so I can hardly stand it. I might just burst into joy at any moment when considering his glory.

Twilight was the fading light in my years of disaster, as I fondly recalled: the years of no-light. Full darkness, and total depravity. Yet a meaningful spiritual journey was unfolding. In 2011, watching humming birds buzz about from the front window of my home I realized that there is a God. I realized there must in fact be a God. Many were praying for me, in Zion perhaps, the lost city? They were on the other side of the cross fighting to get me through the eye of the needle. They were standing guard over my disaster. And in the 40 days and 40 nights of my disaster, then angels came and cared for me. They heard the calls from on high for mercy on this young man. God heard the call. And he directed me to Jesus Christ his son.

I had never believed any of it. But then I did believe. I knew I had done so much wrong, and evil in my life. I knew I needed redemption, a new life, a new hope, one that I had long given up on. I knew I needed freedom from the shackles of drug addiction, but I had long past given up on such a freedom ever coming. Then something impossible happened in my life: I was reborn, at the moment when I called out to one man for help, his name was Jesus Christ.

And then my life changed. The table flipped. The whole game changed. The whole mission changed. The whole spiritual journey completely changed. I was no longer in the dark forest, but on the road to the summit, on the trail, to the kingdom. Everything had changed. Hope became the basis of a new life, a new life not centered around self-destruction and hedonism, but a life centered around faith in God, hope for the future, and moral transformation. What a wonderful thing! What a beautiful journey, especially today. It gave me a clear insight: God is a God of the underdogs and the addicted. More so: God is a God of unspeakable beauties. He is an artist, a poetic, a sculptor, a architect of human souls. He is the driver of the spiritual journey that was born out of my drug addiction. He had foreordained my redemption in Jesus Christ, but he met me exactly where I was, and guided me along a knife-edge. I hung over disaster, teetered near the edge, and he kept me safe until the moment of Christ Jesus, repeating to me a million plus times: This moment is not your last, your sin right now is not the final, I will patiently await you, I will be your salvation, I will make you new, I will redeem you in my eyes, and I am not willing for you to perish in darkness. Now I belong to him, because he saved me. And even more so, because dear friends, because once you meet Him you are never the same. All your empty pits are filled, and you are filled with a desperate zeal for his gospel because at that moment you burst forth with the realization that every human being ought to know their Maker. Yet even more so, it is good to know God, it is amazing to be saved by him, yet at the very tip top: God is good because of who he is. His character, personality, plan, beauty, and attention are so wonderful and so unspeakable it urges one to burst into joyful tears. God is good because of who He is.

If you are going through hell, keep going. I hope and pray that God will find you within your nightmare, and reveal himself to you on terms that you can understand, so that you may know the answer to the meaning of existence itself: To realize you are an entity created for eternity, beset by darkness, yet able to reach out to God, shimmering through the twilight, to be led by Him, for all glory, to his son Jesus Christ, who can and will restore you to the perfection of the knowledge of the being who created your race and your soul, who has planted within you the inexhaustible urge for eternity and the desperate desire for a transcendent holiness, a perfection found only in God Almighty. Amen.

At the window of my house
    I looked down through the lattice.

I saw among the simple,
    I noticed among the young men,
    a youth who had no sense.

He was going down the street near her corner,
    walking along in the direction of her house

at twilight, as the day was fading,
    as the dark of night set in. -Proverbs 7:6-9

But if we walk in the light, 

as he is in the light, 

we have fellowship 
with one another, 

and the blood of Jesus his Son 

cleanses us from all 
sin.     -1 John 1:7

Related Posts:

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Five Big Questions raised by Skeptics & Five Big Answers

There are so many big questions in life. Why am I here? What is the purpose of existence? And yes: Does God exist? How does it all fit together? These video shorts are answers given by great speakers and philosophers. Enjoy.

1. Does God Exist?

2. What is Truth?

3. Does Science argue for or against God?

4. Is Gay Marriage Wrong?

5. Did God command genocide in the Old Testament?

Extra: Embarrassing Objections Raised by Internet Atheists

Additional Posts on these Topics: