I remember growing up I was very close friends with my cousin Travis. We were best buddies. We would hang out together almost every day sometimes. We loved to play Madden. We’d play season after season of Madden. Other games as well. We would have sleep overs, talk for hours, and talk about the universe and why things were the way they were.
But, Travis and I would sometimes get in an argument. And it would be intense. Then we would be mad at each other for months, even years. This happened several times. And it was always so hard. But, each time, eventually, we would meet up again, and all would be forgiven. It didn’t matter anymore. We had forgiven each other. And it was like it never happened.
There would be a joy in the reconciliation that took place. And that joy would replace all the hurt that had taken place previously.
When we forgive, it brings joy and freedom.
A second example of forgiveness,
"When the first missionaries came to Alberta, Canada, they were savagely opposed by a young chief of the Cree Indians named Maskepetoon. But he responded to the gospel and accepted Christ. Shortly afterward, a member of the Blackfoot tribe killed his father. Maskepetoon rode into the village where the murderer lived and demanded that he be brought before him. Confronting the guilty man, he said, "You have killed my father, so now you must be my father. You shall ride my best horse and wear my best clothes." In utter amazement and remorse his enemy exclaimed, "My son, now you have killed me!" He meant, of course, that the hate in his own heart had been completely erased by the forgiveness and kindness of the Indian chief." -Today in the Word, November 10, 1993.
A third example of forgiveness, goes to the streets of new York in the 1970s, there was a street war for territory between the mau maus and the bishops, rival gangs. Pastor David Wilkerson went to the streets believing God had called him to preach the gospel to the gang members there.
Wilkerson stormed into the court room and was thrown out, but became known for this, and eventually made contact with the gang leaders, in particular, Nicky Cruz the leader of the mau maus.
Wilkerson held an event where both gangs came. But during the event, Wilkerson preached about forgiveness, and Nicky Cruz understood the message. He was changed in that moment. God’s grace in Christ made him new. And all his anger and bitterness became forgiveness and love.
Today we’re talking about forgiveness. We’ll be in Matthew chapter 18, and the scripture we’re looking at starts in verse 21.
But first let’s take a look at the context of our scripture today.
Jesus is talking about how to deal with a Christian brother or sister who sins against us.
It says this: v.15-20: “15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
This scripture tells us how to deal with another believer who sins against us. We go directly to them to try to work it out. If that doesn’t work, we bring someone with us, if that doesn’t work, we tell the body of believers about it, if that doesn’t help, then we treat them as a stranger.
So, often the question comes up in forgiveness, do I have to stay around someone who is abusive to me? The answer is no. I don’t have to maintain a relationship with a believer who is sinning against me repeatedly, as long as I go directly to them and ask them to change what they are doing. As long as I go through this process, then I have grounds to break fellowship with that person.
But the rest of what we’re looking at today is all about what goes on inside of our heart. Externally, we may break fellowship under certain circumstances, but just as important, it’s about how we respond within.
Now let’s get into our main teaching for today.
Peter is listening to Jesus talking about all this, and he asks Jesus a follow up question.
Verses 21-22: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
How does God’s kingdom work? And how can we live by it’s guideposts? Today we find another guide post that is vital. If we’re forgiven by Jesus and all our sins are gone, then we are in turn commanded to forgive others who sin against us.
The question is: How many times should I forgive someone who sins against me? Up to seven times?
Jesus next goes into a parable to explain how the machinery of God’s kingdom system works in regard to the justice of forgiveness.
Jesus says, v. 23-25, “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.”
In the parable we have a King who has many servants who owe him money. One man is brought forward who owes a massive amount. He owes 10,000 bags of gold. Many theologians estimate in today’s money, we’d be talking anywhere from 7 to 13 billion dollars. A massive debt, unthinkably huge.
OK, why is Jesus talking about gold and debts? What is he trying to explain? Jesus is explaining that our sins are a debt before God that are extremely huge. The debt of sin is incredibly huge, it’s punishment is massive, the punishment is everlasting death... A fate so terrible we can’t even imagine it’s implications.
Why is sin so terrible? Let’s try to understand why: One sin, by Adam and Eve, led to a world full of sin today, murder, suicide, lying, stealing, drug addiction, domestic violence, gang violence, money laundering, sexual abuse, pedophilia, world wars, and worse.
All from one sin. Why is sin so terrible? Because sin leads to more sin.
Yet honestly I think that's secondary. The real reason sin its so terrible is because it's something that exists in an endless darkness outside the will of God. And anything outside of God's will is injustice. To become one with injustice (sin), is always infinitely wrong.
Conversely, heaven gets better and better everyday, because it’s based on perfection, no sin, and without sin, everything always gets better. But that’s also why hell gets worse and worse everyday, because when any sin is present, sin produces more sin, like a virus that spreads, sin is endless.
God simply applies to eternity what we began in our time window on this Earth. If we had embraced sin, our lives were slowly crumbling becoming worse and worse. God seals that off for eternity. Your permanent reality, punishment, torment, will reflect that forever. And the process continues infinitely, even beyond the second judgment and into the lake of fire.
If we embraced righteousness, received Christ, we had begun a process of sanctification, whereby we are slowly conformed into the image of Christ. If we embraced that process, it continues beyond this life, into eternity. God magnifies what we began here on Earth into eternity.
Our lives are just a blink of an eye, one day we will go before our master to settle accounts. And there will be no tricks on that day, there is only truth. Were your sins forgiven by Jesus? Or were they not?
And result is as real as us sitting here today, eternal paradise or eternal punishment. Better and better forever, or worse and worse forever.
Let’s see what happens next in the parable:
Verses 26-27: “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”
The master took pity on the servant. The servant pleaded for mercy. He asked for time to pay it back. But the master doesn’t even make him pay back this massive debt, he cancels the debt completely. Amazing grace.
This is what happens when we ask Jesus to forgive our sins. Jesus forgives all our sins. And we’re set free. The debt we owed to God is cancelled.
None of us understand just how important it is that Jesus died for our sins. We don’t get it fully. We kind of understand it. But I think three seconds into judgment day, we’ll know just how infinitely valuable it was that Jesus died for us.
Next, verses 28-29: “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
The value of this debt is about $11,700. A significant sum of money, but nothing compared to the billions this servant had owed to the master.
This scenario is replaying exactly what happened between the master and the servant, except the servant is owed much less by his fellow servant. And the servant has just been forgiven a massive amount.
What will he do? Each of you immediately think, well, he was just forgiven a massive amount, surely he will be merciful to this man who owes him something much less.
Verses 30-31: “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.”
The servant refused to be merciful, but had the man thrown in prison. Other servants saw what happened and reported it back to the master.
What’s going on here? What is Jesus referring to? This entire scenario is about forgiveness.
We owed a massive debt to God because of our sins. Our punishment would’ve been enduring permanent hell. But Jesus died on the cross to pay our debt for us. He endured the suffering we should’ve endured, so we could be forgiven.
So now that we’ve been redeemed, Jesus commands us to forgive people who hurt us. We’re commanded to be merciful to people who owe us a debt due to sin. We are to consider that debt paid in full.
But let’s go to the other extreme. What if we don’t? What if we live our lives refusing to forgive others? What if we hold up hatred and anger and bitterness toward the people around us?
Let’s see what the master says.
Verses 32-35: “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The key phrase here is: "Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you?"
When we have someone we need to forgive of their sins against us, it’s hard. Very hard. Why? It hurts. And we’re angry. Even ruined by what they did.
But we have to remember that what they did is small compared to what Jesus did for us.
Who do you need to forgive today? It’s time to find freedom. I want you to pray right now, and offer them forgiveness in your heart. And you will be free from the bitterness. You will be free from the hatred. You will be free from the pain. It’s time to give it to God and put it in His courtroom.
What does this do? Does this mean that they are now pure as snow? No it doesn’t.
Sometimes in the judicial system a lower court will send the case to a higher court, and even sometimes to the Supreme Court, which is the US’s highest court. When you choose to forgive, you are actually sending the case to a higher court. You are sending the case to God’s court.
When you refuse to try to punish someone for what they did to you, and you forgive them, that functionally puts it in God’s court room. And God will do justice.
For most situations, we can pray and forgive them before God, and God takes over the case.
But notice it says we must forgive “from the heart.” I think many times I would try to forgive someone, I was forgiving them from the head. But it must be in the heart. In the heart we hold bitterness and anger, not in the head. So the forgiveness must come from the heart.
Forgiveness is a miracle. At first it feels impossible, but when you invite God into the situation, you come into a scenario that is called “overthrow.” God overthrows in you the hate and fear and bitterness, through a miraculous act, as you pray, and cry out, and seek God’s help to forgive. In the overflow, love and mercy replaces unforgiveness. Overthrow is beautiful. Ask God now.
Our lives are just a blink of an eye, one day we will go before our master to settle accounts. And there will be no tricks on that day, there is only truth. Were your sins forgiven by Jesus? Or were they not?
And result is as real as us sitting here today, eternal paradise or eternal punishment. Better and better forever, or worse and worse forever.
Let’s see what happens next in the parable:
Verses 26-27: “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”
The master took pity on the servant. The servant pleaded for mercy. He asked for time to pay it back. But the master doesn’t even make him pay back this massive debt, he cancels the debt completely. Amazing grace.
This is what happens when we ask Jesus to forgive our sins. Jesus forgives all our sins. And we’re set free. The debt we owed to God is cancelled.
None of us understand just how important it is that Jesus died for our sins. We don’t get it fully. We kind of understand it. But I think three seconds into judgment day, we’ll know just how infinitely valuable it was that Jesus died for us.
Next, verses 28-29: “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
The value of this debt is about $11,700. A significant sum of money, but nothing compared to the billions this servant had owed to the master.
This scenario is replaying exactly what happened between the master and the servant, except the servant is owed much less by his fellow servant. And the servant has just been forgiven a massive amount.
What will he do? Each of you immediately think, well, he was just forgiven a massive amount, surely he will be merciful to this man who owes him something much less.
Verses 30-31: “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.”
The servant refused to be merciful, but had the man thrown in prison. Other servants saw what happened and reported it back to the master.
What’s going on here? What is Jesus referring to? This entire scenario is about forgiveness.
We owed a massive debt to God because of our sins. Our punishment would’ve been enduring permanent hell. But Jesus died on the cross to pay our debt for us. He endured the suffering we should’ve endured, so we could be forgiven.
So now that we’ve been redeemed, Jesus commands us to forgive people who hurt us. We’re commanded to be merciful to people who owe us a debt due to sin. We are to consider that debt paid in full.
But let’s go to the other extreme. What if we don’t? What if we live our lives refusing to forgive others? What if we hold up hatred and anger and bitterness toward the people around us?
Let’s see what the master says.
Verses 32-35: “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The key phrase here is: "Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you?"
When we have someone we need to forgive of their sins against us, it’s hard. Very hard. Why? It hurts. And we’re angry. Even ruined by what they did.
But we have to remember that what they did is small compared to what Jesus did for us.
Who do you need to forgive today? It’s time to find freedom. I want you to pray right now, and offer them forgiveness in your heart. And you will be free from the bitterness. You will be free from the hatred. You will be free from the pain. It’s time to give it to God and put it in His courtroom.
What does this do? Does this mean that they are now pure as snow? No it doesn’t.
Sometimes in the judicial system a lower court will send the case to a higher court, and even sometimes to the Supreme Court, which is the US’s highest court. When you choose to forgive, you are actually sending the case to a higher court. You are sending the case to God’s court.
When you refuse to try to punish someone for what they did to you, and you forgive them, that functionally puts it in God’s court room. And God will do justice.
For most situations, we can pray and forgive them before God, and God takes over the case.
But notice it says we must forgive “from the heart.” I think many times I would try to forgive someone, I was forgiving them from the head. But it must be in the heart. In the heart we hold bitterness and anger, not in the head. So the forgiveness must come from the heart.
Forgiveness is a miracle. At first it feels impossible, but when you invite God into the situation, you come into a scenario that is called “overthrow.” God overthrows in you the hate and fear and bitterness, through a miraculous act, as you pray, and cry out, and seek God’s help to forgive. In the overflow, love and mercy replaces unforgiveness. Overthrow is beautiful. Ask God now.
Out of the bitter burning hot coals of unforgiveness, comes the flood of the Holy Spirit, amazing grace like living waters pouring over the hot coals, extinguishing the inferno and bringing a flood of peace.
What about very difficult hurts? For some very severe scenarios, where the unforgiveness is strong, there is a second option. In a scenario where it’s very firmly implanted, here is the prescription: Pray for that person once a night for two weeks.
What about very difficult hurts? For some very severe scenarios, where the unforgiveness is strong, there is a second option. In a scenario where it’s very firmly implanted, here is the prescription: Pray for that person once a night for two weeks.
And you pray for them to receive all the good things you want in life. And as you pray that prayer each night, the prayer begins to change your heart. And you can no longer hate that person after praying for them for two weeks. Then, the forgiveness will be much easier.
For some scenarios you may also need to speak to that person directly to find resolution to the situation, but do so only prayerfully as God leads you to.
In conclusion, how important is forgiveness to the disciple of Jesus? It is literally a salvation issue. In the kingdom of God system grace and forgiveness are huge. The disciple has received a full pardon for their sins. Yet Jesus immediately requires a similar attitude from the disciple toward others.
By an act of sacrificial mercy, the King has pardoned our sins. And it cost the King his own blood. Now, the King requires our response to sins against us to be sacrificial in nature as well.
Can we see the point? If our sins are forgiven by God, how can we hold up unforgiveness, hold someone in a prison of our anger because they hurt us in some way? It’s hypocrisy to hold up unforgiveness toward someone. God has forgiven us, so we must forgive those who have done unforgivable things to us.
We’re to show the kind of mercy that God has shown us. But it goes further than that, we’re also supposed to show grace. In other areas of the scripture we’re told to bless those who curse us, and pray for those who persecute us. Forgiveness is one thing, it’s a miracle, but to pour out grace to one who has harmed us? That’s glorious.
This is not a suggestion, but a command. We’re warned that God will not forgive some of our sins if we refuse to forgive others their sins.
The Blessing: The blessing is that God has given us total forgiveness of our sins and we rejoice in that freedom.
The Challenge: The challenge is that we find no option in scripture to refuse forgiveness toward those who have hurt us. We must forgive them.
Next Steps:
A. Make a list of the people you need to forgive. Go through the list and pray for God’s help, then declare your choice to forgive them out loud.
B. Journal some of the worst sins that you’ve committed, then rip up and throw away the list as a reminder that Jesus has removed your sins.
C. Go to someone from your past who you sinned against (as God leads) and ask for their forgiveness and offer to make amends for what you did wrong.
For some scenarios you may also need to speak to that person directly to find resolution to the situation, but do so only prayerfully as God leads you to.
In conclusion, how important is forgiveness to the disciple of Jesus? It is literally a salvation issue. In the kingdom of God system grace and forgiveness are huge. The disciple has received a full pardon for their sins. Yet Jesus immediately requires a similar attitude from the disciple toward others.
By an act of sacrificial mercy, the King has pardoned our sins. And it cost the King his own blood. Now, the King requires our response to sins against us to be sacrificial in nature as well.
Can we see the point? If our sins are forgiven by God, how can we hold up unforgiveness, hold someone in a prison of our anger because they hurt us in some way? It’s hypocrisy to hold up unforgiveness toward someone. God has forgiven us, so we must forgive those who have done unforgivable things to us.
We’re to show the kind of mercy that God has shown us. But it goes further than that, we’re also supposed to show grace. In other areas of the scripture we’re told to bless those who curse us, and pray for those who persecute us. Forgiveness is one thing, it’s a miracle, but to pour out grace to one who has harmed us? That’s glorious.
This is not a suggestion, but a command. We’re warned that God will not forgive some of our sins if we refuse to forgive others their sins.
The Blessing: The blessing is that God has given us total forgiveness of our sins and we rejoice in that freedom.
The Challenge: The challenge is that we find no option in scripture to refuse forgiveness toward those who have hurt us. We must forgive them.
Next Steps:
A. Make a list of the people you need to forgive. Go through the list and pray for God’s help, then declare your choice to forgive them out loud.
B. Journal some of the worst sins that you’ve committed, then rip up and throw away the list as a reminder that Jesus has removed your sins.
C. Go to someone from your past who you sinned against (as God leads) and ask for their forgiveness and offer to make amends for what you did wrong.
Discussion Questions:
1. How does it feel to know your sins are forgiven by God?
2. Why is forgiveness so hard?
3. Describe a time when someone forgave you for a wrong.
4. If we’re stuck in hatred or unforgiveness how can we escape that prison?
5. What does it mean to show both forgiveness and grace to someone who wronged you?
1. How does it feel to know your sins are forgiven by God?
2. Why is forgiveness so hard?
3. Describe a time when someone forgave you for a wrong.
4. If we’re stuck in hatred or unforgiveness how can we escape that prison?
5. What does it mean to show both forgiveness and grace to someone who wronged you?
