Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Some Thoughts for February 20th

Well, today has been a tired day so far.  I went to an AA meeting this morning at 10 am.  I think it was the earliest meeting I've ever been to!  I was half asleep the whole time and the coffee wasn't helping.  The topics were wonderful, and there was a lot of joy in the room.  I kept staring out the windows at the bright sunlight shining on the snow, wishing I could dive into the sunlight (not the snow).  I spoke up a bit about how I so quickly recovered from losing my jobs recently, and how I believed that was because of all my new friends at downtown mission church.  I knew they were praying for me, and I felt it.  I rushed out as soon as it was over into the bright snow lit mid morning.  

Driving home I listened to uplifting audio sermons, but didn't quite mean it inside my head, because I was just so tired.  I talked to a friend from church about staying in my basement a few weeks.  So on and so forth.

I find myself thinking.  I want true peace of mind, and not peace of mind that is only there in happiness.  I want peace of mind when the entire world is crumbling around me.  I want to know, through and through that I'm saved and nothing can truly harm my soul.  I want to rest on peace when everything goes wrong, and it doesn't even phase me.  Someday, perhaps, today.  Or tomorrow.