PRECIOUS UGLINESS
Cutaneous leishmaniasis
was a parasitic disease that causes nodules or sores to form on the
skin, including the skin of the face. Affected people suffered
having a single lesion or many lesions. Sores heal slowly over
months to years and leave scars. This fatal disease came to Stephen
when he was just eight years old. Though it was cured a year after,
the fatal thing was that this disease affected his beautiful plump
face and left scars on it. This made his face look ugly; and one
even he could not see his face continuously for a minute.
But during that age he
didn’t worry about this because at that time he had: the eyes that
saw his precious heart lying beneath his ugly face; the ears that
heard every word he spoke; arms that always reached for him; a heart
that always cared for him and offered the pure love; in all these
forms he had his mother, who was very affectionate with him. His
father was a dipsomaniac and died when he was two years old due to
over alcoholism. During that time, his mother became pauper repaying
the debts that were borrowed to her husband’s medication costs but
she overcame that by working as a baby sitter.
Stephen then went to
school but no one was ready to give company to him in the school.
Few found irritating to sit near him and only a few children talked
with him. When his mother came to know all about this she ceased him
from going to school. She taught him the subject of affection. She
told him the formula of love that
“If you give love to the
people, they will repay the same in multiples.”
When she was near to him he
never cared about anything. He wouldn’t be concerned about his
appearance, since she told him,
” The real beauty of a man
lies in the way he loves other people and other creatures in this
world.”
His mother would go for
work and he would be there in his house: sometimes painting;
sometimes arranging the things in his house; sometimes washing the
dishes and sometimes doing nothing except waiting for the arrival of
his mother and arrival of the chocolates, which she would bought for
him every day. His life went on like this.
He listened to the stories
told by his mother and he fell asleep in her lap itself. Sometimes
while Stephen had slept, his mother demented with worries by looking
at his face thinking how he was going to survive in this world after
her. She always prayed to god to give Stephen another loving heart
like her, when he wants to take her away from him.
Stephen then began to have
more faith in God, he felt as if some supreme power was always
planning for his activities and watching him always. But whenever he
saw his face against the mirror he got angry with God for creating
his face like that.
The years went on, then
Stephen celebrated his 16th
birthday, sometimes he went out to the churches, sea shores, etc.
Perhaps, he hated travelling in the bus because whenever he travelled
in the bus, no one sat near him. Moreover he was afraid to sit near
other people because few reacted to him violently. They forget to
see the humanity in him. All they saw was the ugly face of him.
And even few said to him that this scornful disease came to him
because of the sins that might be done by him in his previous lives.
Yet he never cared about
all those because he had his mother as a shoe to walk over the broken
glass. Though God had thrown away the broken glass on his path,
Stephen was happy that he had given him his mother as the shoe. But
that didn’t last long. God took his shoe away. By an unexpected
fall from the staircase his mother died, leaving him to live in her
house with solitude. As this suddenly happened, he was first much
depressed with it. The seeds of hope she cultivated in his heart
made him to clang on his life. He always remembered his mother’s
words that,
“Whenever you get much
depressed by life and if you feel that, these were the worst thing
that shall never happen to anyone. Don’t get angry with God and
hate your life. But just look out for a positive way because surely
there will be some light hidden somewhere in the midst of the
darkness. If you are able to find that, then that’s the end of the
darkness.”
He knew very well that both
sadness and happiness of life were not permanent. Few months run by,
after getting the salvation by himself he joined as a servant to
one of the houses, where his mother first went as a baby sitter, and
eventually became the maid of the house. This house was the same
place where she breathed her last minutes.
The youngest baby of the
house had then turned out to be a beautiful girl of the house. He
went to the house daily in the morning and returned to his house in
the evening. He felt comfortable working in the house as everyone in
that house never cared about his appearance. Nonetheless, one day he
came to know that the beautiful daughter of the house was having some
trouble in seeing his face as she never looked onto his face or eyes
while talking, so he avoided to be noticed by her vision.
He usually had to cross a
high traffic road in the evening in order to catch the bus on the
other side. Always before crossing the road he would see for a long
time on the two sides of the road until he makes sure that no
automobiles were coming against him, because he believed life was too
precious to be wasted on the roads.
On the next day as usual he
went to their house. He was surprised on seeing the photographer
arrived to take the family photo. He waited that they would be
calling him because he believed him as part of their family. He went
to their house as a servant not because of the salary but because of
the love he had for them.
He accidentally interrupted
the photograph. The lady of the family shouted at him as
“You spoiled a nice
photograph with your ugly face.”
Hearing this made him to
embarrass than ever. He was much depressed and his agony rose. For
the first time in his life he felt it would have better if he had not
been born in this world. With full of hatredness towards his life
he crossed the road without seeing whether it was clear or not.
That time he was hit by a car and he was hurt.
The man, who drove the
car after providing the first aid, carried him immediately to the
hospital. Since he was a doctor, Stephen was lucky enough to be
saved with fewer injuries because of his immediate attention and
action.
Then in the hospital he
asked Stephen why he was careless while crossing the road. Stephen
narrated the story of him. Hearing this, the doctor felt pity for
him. Even so that was not the one which Stephen actually wanted.
The doctor then told about
the cosmetic surgery costing around $1500 by which his face could be
made normal. And he assured him that he would arrange it for him if
he could provide at least half of the money. Stephen felt some
complacence in him because he realised that he had at last got a
chance to make his ugly face a normal one. He never wanted his face
to look so beautiful all he wanted was that his face looking
tolerable, so that people did not find it disgusting to look at it.
After that, the doctor
took him in his car to drop him. In the middle of their travel the
Doctor spoke to him about the new Pug he had bought. Stephen told
him that he was scared of dogs as dogs usually barked on seeing him.
And when he stepped out of
the car in the doctor’s house an Pug ran near him. Stephen was
scared but the Pug came too close to him by wagging its tail. The
doctor lamented about the dog that it usually barked on seeing people
and he wondered how the dog could be silent this time. These words
induced Stephen some form of fondness towards that Pug. Without a
second thought, he requested the doctor to give the Pug to him, but
the doctor refused saying that he bought it just before a week.
After spending some
time in the doctor’s house Stephen was about to leave and he
started walking. The dog followed him until he left the house.
In that night all the
thoughts of Stephen were surrounded with that dog.
On the next day he entered
the doctor’s house in order to steal the Pug. When the doctor was
out he took the dog in his hands. The dog was silent in his hands,
it hadn’t barked even once. But unfortunately the watchman of the
house saw him. Seeing that Stephen started running and at last he
was caught by the doctor.
The doctor warned him and
told him clearly that he was not in a mind to give away his new dog.
So Stephen left the place with dismay and humiliations.
Few days went, then one
day the doctor called him. So he went to his house the doctor gave
him the Pug saying that
“This dog always barks on
seeing humans except you.”
With full of happiness and
excitement he took the Pug to his house and named the Pug as “Dommy”.
Dommy was silent in his
hands but as soon as it entered the house it wandered around every
corner to the entire place, which people had never entered before.
As the Dommy clearly knew that he was going to be the king of that
house it walked in a gait.
He became attached to the
Dommy he gave food to it before he ate and he ate whenever Dommy ate.
Two days went like that.
The next day Dommy by
wagging its tail jumped and broke the plates, which he kept for the
remembrance of his mother, so he got angry and hurt Dommy. After two
minutes Dommy came near him as usual by wagging its tail; making his
master to wonder how God had created these kinds of creatures, which
didn’t possess any envy, anger, indifference and those like worse
things, which were seen in ordinary humans.
On the weekends he
prepared food for him and his Dommy. They went to places, which
they might never have seen before. Together they walked large
distances, explored some new places, had their food under some tree
and returned only when they wished.
He still had one thing
disturbing his heart. He wanted to earn money in order to change
his face.
Days went on and by the
doctor’s recommendation a millionaire accepted to offer him the
cost of the operation. Then Stephen accepted that. With his Dommy
he went to the hospital. He kept Dommy outside; though the doctor
came near, it was not ready to go with him. Dommy just focused on
the stretcher carrying his master inside the operation theatre.
Dommy once again started
barking with abhorrence on seeing the ordinary people’s face.
Stephen asked the doctor a five minutes time to calm down Dommy. He
went leaving Dommy with Stephen.
Few minutes later the
doctor entered the operation theatre. He found that, Stephen was not
there. He instead, found a letter on the bed. He started reading
that letter, in that letter he had written as
“All I wanted is a
soul that surrounds me, a heart that purely loves me, and an eye that
sees my beauty lying underneath my ugly face. I have got the one.
God had given me all these in the name of Dommy. Dommy recognises
everything good in me. Dommy barks on seeing the other people but
not at me. To Dommy I am something special and that may be because
of the appearance of my face. I am afraid that it may be difficult
for my Dommy to recognise me or it may hate me, if I operate my face.
Why should I need to show myself beautiful for these people, who
have never seen the inner humanity of me? I will rather remain the
same for the Dommy that loves me so much as the way I am, than to
become someone to please others, who doesn’t care much about me.
I feel my ugliness as a precious one because it has attracted a
beautiful soul that would surround me always. Yes, my ugliness is
precious, my Dommy and I only know how much worthy it is… ”
The doctor after reading
this felt ashamed of himself and on the entire people who failed to
recognise the precious humanity lying underneath his ugly face.
Then doctor reached the
window and saw Stephen leaving the hospital with his lovable Dommy.
Stephen then took the bus
and this time he had no enough time to look whether the people around
him was feeling indifferent to him or not, as he had only a scarce
time to watch out his Dommy play joyfully.
After this incident, while
travelling in the bus he felt comfortable when no one sat near him.
It would be easier for his Dommy to sit over there.
He cherished his mother’s
words “There will surely be some light hidden somewhere in the
midst of the darkness.” The light came to him in the form of
Dommy to end his darkness………….
